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Sick Of The Rain

byreign72©
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by Anonymous

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by LeBroz02/16/07

~~

Welcome to Lit with this really fine first piece looking for that bit of brightness to fill a drab life. But as for me, I'm sick of the snow.
Generally a good write but there is a spot where I'd like to suggest one very small little tweak to smooth the flow:
"My heart is full of tears
World is lonely
My mind is full of fears"
Try:
"My heart full of tears
World is lonely
My mind full of fears"

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by Amyfriend02/17/07

My heart pines...

for some sunshine in my life...looking for better days ahead. Well done.

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by Amyfriend02/17/07

My heart pines...

for some sunshine in my life...looking for better days ahead. Well done.

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