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Destiny in Sweetwater Ch. 01

byBelleHoney©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous02/23/07

...

Huh? Could this be any shorter? Interesting first couple of paragraphs, but where is the story? Reminds me of the old saying “where’s the beef”?

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by Anonymous02/23/07

TOO SHORT

Good, but don't drip it out.

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by Anonymous02/23/07

Missing info

Missing a lot of stuff but good

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by Anonymous02/24/07

Good....

But you need to get deeper in the story; describe the characters more. But i do like the story. SugarSweetPink4582

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