Excellant story, and I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. There were a few misspellings and punctuation mistakes, but all in all, a very good story.
I think its to long story.
get an editor/ proofreader. There are several places where the reader is taken out of the story by sloppy grammar, spelling and punctuation. Good luck.
First pages were excellent! A bit long with many unneeded distractions, but easy reading. However, it fell into an awkward Victorian style when you got to their coupling. 65% excellent; 25% not; balance for recovery and wonder.
This is a great story and so very well written. Sure there were some grammatical and spelling errors, but I haven't read a story yet on Literotica that didn't have some errors. Even those where an editor is acknowledged. But this story had me riveted. I liked the length, the build up, the plot, the sub-plot and the feeling as though I was right there with the characters. I could see what they could see. I could sense what they were sensing. I was there with them. And that's the mark of a great writer.
You have a real talent. Please don't let anyone discourage you.
This story kept me interested. I thought the storyline communicated the strength & depth of their relationship so well. All the experiences they had were so well described in a way that enhanced the overall story. I also thought that the underlying emotions of any uncertainty from their parents split and from the realization that the trip while bringing so much current enjoyment is a finite event, were always present without being overt. Overall I thought this was a very good read.
Not too long, a few editorial errors, but overall a well written story. But looking forward to another installment. Maybe 15 or 20 years down the road.
Your writing inspired lots of visual imagery. Wish the sex had been more varied. I can't imagine what their child would be like with the genetic disaster of twins as parents.
This is your best work to date & don't mind people telling telling you that it is a lengthy story. I think it is just about the right pace. We don't need two paragraph stories.
I would vote a 10 if possible! Wonderful imagery, romantic to a fault. It is a fabulous story line and I liked the length. It gave the ending a wonderful build up like Great Sex should. Change nothing. Even printed novels have Grammar and spelling errors that escape the printer and publisher. Heed not the cries of too long length; Listen not to the grammar and spelling Nazis as they could not put together the imagery you have in this wonderful story. (ESPECIALLY when they are ANONYMOUS!) I would love to see a re-visit to this couple in the future. As for genetics of twins bearing children, yes the incidence of problems is higher but they can be screened for now in the uterus in early development stage. NBD!
This is the first of your stories that I remember reading. I hope there are others. This really was good. Sibling incest is best, but when turned into a love story like you've done, the taboo seems to be removed from it and replaced by real romance instead. Thank you for writing.
the story"FAMILY SENSATION"was good up til the point where you had to put in the attempted rape section it was totaly unnessasary and ruined the story rape does not belong in any story if you must include such garbage put your story in the nonconsensual area it doesn't belong in the incest area
What indeed was their child like - the product of twin
brother and sister?!
I was glad you made their relationship permanent and
deepening inspite of the inevitable problems. The way
you described this element rang true and was totally in
Two things surprised me:
Firstly, would two recently qualified doctors risk a rape
charge, especially as they had brought a playmate with them?
Secondly, why didn't "Sis" scream as soon as she realised
she was in danger of being raped?
One loud scream would have brought her brother to her rescue
immediately. If she had the strength to fight off two
assailants, she had enough wind to scream.
Thankyou for yet another good story, Athena.
All I can say is FUCK that was hot!!
One of the most outstanding stories on this site, written by an excellent author and eroticist.
Such a terrific story telling.. loved it..
OK well I've said this to other stories but now I feel a bit foolish giving such heavy words to lesser stories...
This was easily one of the best stories I've ever read. The description, the detail, the sex scenes described so eloquently... 5 stars is not enough.
And Aaron's medical condition, theres no way you did that out of creativity. You must know someone with it or something because wow, it really does make you think differently after you've read it as you described.
What an amazing piece of writing this is, so sensual and caring, nearly in tears several times so thank you. I only have one complaint though, the fact that his penis is eight inches, it seems a little too large for most people, 6 1/2 would have been better.
Is this story based on your real life? If it is I withdraw my last comment. 5/5
the most beautiful story that one can ever read!
The entire story was fascinating...loved every minute of it.
that was by far the best story wonderfully written, you could see and feel what they went through and all their feelings...absolutely incredible love it!!...When can we expect another great story?
Learn the difference. 1 star because I found it irritating after about the 10th misuse.
I'm kind of torn with liking the ending... The fact that she is pregnant bothers me because the child could have some serious mental issues with being the product of incest (which makes me feel bad about it), but with that aside, FANTASTIC story!
Wow, what great writing. A beautiful love story and very realistic. It's very sensual and loving. I liked it a lot. You are indeed a very talented writiner. Please keep on writing.
i agree, there were a few grammatical and spelling errors, but almost every story has them.
amazing writing, i felt as though i was there watching and experiencing the story unfold. i felt rage and my own protective side come out at the rape scene, and when they finally were together it was an intense release for me, not sexually but emotionally.
i cant help but be drawn in and believe this is based on your life.
if it is, i am jealous you have someone who loves you as much and as deeply.
if it is not, i am jealous of your writing ability.
5 stars is not enough, i would give this 100 if i could!
The script is superior, but the wisdom is Totally Unbelievable! Few have ever put into words the deep, innermost feelings that true love experiences when spark becomes the flame, and roars out of control into a blazing inferno. I've never read anything to better describe the heartache newlyweds should process if love is real. I'm glad you helped this aging married man remember what happened 50 years ago ... for the first time. Your words express more maturity than some lovers will ever realize, and won't know they missed out until they read this wonderful script. It isn't the incest factor that makes it work as much as the emotional bond. If a person hasn't been there yet, Expect it and know it's possible.
Ich habe schon einige Deiner Geschichten gelesen. Es war nicht leicht, da mein verschüttetes Schulenglisch für deine anspruchsvollen Texte kaum reicht. Deine Sprache ist stark und ausdruckvoll, die jeweilige Handlung plausibel und geil. Danke!
Jedes weitere Wort ist überflüssig.
You did a really good job with this story keep it coming
So, given that Corco763's comment is constructive but in German and most people here don't speak it, I decided to translate it as best I could:
>I already read several of your stories. It wasn't easy, as my rusty School English is just barely enough for your sophisticated texts. Your language is strong and expressive, each action plausible and awesome/sexy*.
>Any other words are superfluous.
* originally meaning "randy", it is widely used as cool/awesome nowadays. It can, influenced by the old meaning, mean sexy, but be careful there
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