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English
introductory, but why......
Okay, I get the part about being an introductory paragraph, but what in this "story" is supposed to make the reader want to come back for the next chapter?
-- KVK
What a setup!
I'm giving the story a 100 (and a 5) because you established the life and person of Jack very well, and because your closing teaser leads me to expect a great deal with the coming chapters.
I look forward to what's next, but will not be surprised if it doesn't satisfy quite as much. You've set a high bar for your writing. I hope you easily clear the bar.
listen
You didn't write enough. You stopped short. COuld have been good but......
My response!
My sincere thanks to all of you who comment. KVK - Your response to my first story inspired me to get a damn dictionary!! :) I hope it was better this time. Good point on this story as well! I was in such a rush to get the story started and down on paper (I was afraid I would lose inspiration) that I did make it a bit short and didn't give enough reason to come back as you said. I have the next 2 chapters pending approval and am working on the fourth. It will be at least 5 chapters before I finish it and then go back and edit and fill the story out. I still don't know how I'm going to wrap up the story! Come back and read the rest of the story - wait until you meet the secretary!!! And I haven't even gotten to the sex yet!! :)
KVK - If you would ever like to edit some of my future chapters or work - let me know.
Again - my sincere thanks to those who comment, it's the only way I can get better at this. PLEASE CONTINUE TO GIVE ME YOUR POINT OF VIEW!!
Sincerely,
Yours to Have
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