Hilarious--every objection to anal sex except the most obvious:: latent or not-so-latent homosexuality.
I always thought hetero (sure, homophobe me) anal sex was kinky, but took a long while before I succeeded. Lots of "you're in the wrong hole" moments.
Then my partner got a little nutty (temporal lobe epilepsy) became hypersexual with the medication and took my nine yards every which way. As time went on, she also began to experience vaginal pain -- I found I can go deeper with anal--and so we'd start with the "vagine" as Borat might have said, but usually finished with deep anal intercourse.
The first time blew my mind and I shocked myself with an animalistic growling roar when I came.
No ass-to-mouth, but I have to say there was some (occasionally mutual) analinguis from time to time.
I never noticed any excremental smell (except perhaps on withdrawl), and oddly never got shit on (she never took enemas), but my member got shit streaks and I always washed immediately.
Your aversion to doggie is, well, quaint. But I can assure you that I've had some fine moments of anal intercourse both doggie and missionary -- I like the latter, because I like slobbery kissing, you know, the old tongue down the throat kind of thing. But for the true experience of ramming the old avenger home, I'll do doggie, because when she hunches her little ass up into my belly and arches her back, well, words fail me.......ineffable.
Thank You! I thought I was the only one. It seems that in every story someone is getting it up the ass & I'm not in the anal section. It starts out kinda hot & then bam he's going for the poop shoot & she's screaming beggin "Please fuck me in the ass!" Who does that. Not I, I'am a woman never had it & don't ever what it. The women who I have spoken to who have done didn't get that much if any pleasure out of it and hell isn't that the point. Okay that's was my rant. Back to my real comment It was cleverly written & humorous. thanks again
i almost shit laughing
Yet, again, another magical and funny story from Literotica's most prolific writer, Bostonfictionwriter.
By the way, I have never had anal sex either and my wife never wanted it, as well.
As always a creative and funny read. Well done.
Don't like DOGGY style???? Why, that's Blasphemous!!!
LOL....Another good and whacky story, Freddie! Enjoyed.
but I did several times with this piece. I do enjoy anal, because it's an extra level of giving. However, I have to admit the first time I did it I had to wonder if I was reall in her ass.
It was the her first anal, and her suggestion. I expected this super tight feeling, but I didn't. I know she didn't like it at first but then she really got in to it... there's something wrong with that sentence.
Anyway, thanks for the laugh
Great Writing! I am actually a female who at times highly enjoys anal. The thing is you definately need the right partner for it. My partner thinks I am a freaky thing anyway so its all good!
Very very funny - I had to read it twice.
This was a Classic.
I started out just chuckling to myself, but it amused me so much I ended up with the wife wondering what I was laughing at.
It's all good fun between loving partners.
Ask the wife.
Wife, "yeah it's all good fun".
See I told you so.
PLEASE Keep on writing, I love your style........ and your sense of humor.
Hello guys and gals...
As the saying goes, "Opinions are like assholes everybody has one"; So, here's mine (opinion, that is...LOL)
Your essay has wit and humor, mixed with your own fixations and concerns, as we usually do.
The diference here,is that you're trying too hard, to make reality fit your convictions, by showing evidence, to strenghten your beliefs.
Anal sex is not for everyone; If you're disgusted by it,1000 girls' opinion for it, won't convince you a bit...
It's something that you won't enjoy, and explanations won't make sense either...
I'm straight guy and many of my friends -from childhood- are gay; we talk about everything else, but have learned that talking about sex preferences, there's no middle ground, then the topic has never been an issue among us.
The same happens with anal sex; I have had many female partners that hate it, lucky enough, a great deal of them enjoy it once in awhile. And I'm happy to say that a handful of them ladies, really LOVE it, so do I, making it real for them.
I have never had feelings, temptation, or even curiosity for trying it with men. It just doesn`t make sense to me; So I understand your point of view....
The only thing that could make you change your mind, would be, that your female partner had the hidden fantasy for it...because, either you learn to like it, or learn to deal with a resentful lady... and then you'd really get to know what a pain in the ass she'll be, for not giving it to her instead...LOL...
...You live your life as you like, but It's only fair to let you know that I've learned the hard way, that girls love creative and naughty too, as they -sooner or later-, tend to get bored, going through the motions with the "same old" stiff and predictable routine, over and over...
...And BELIEVE ME, you don't want a bored, horny female in bed !! Help you God!..
Doggy and 69 are fun... still in my fifties...
Try cleaning the area, and use flavored jellies to hide the "mental scent" with, and you won't be sorry...
Freddie you "crack" me up. Eskimo's huh? I hadn't heard the anal thing before, I'd heard they were into the oldest form of mutual entertainment - swapping, but didn't know about anal. Keep em coming and I'll keep laughing.
and unusual essay on anal sex- I never really thought too much about it, but I guess you have more time than I do!
i have to agree with the whoever said not liking doggy style was blasphemous though...it is..but being a female and definitely enjoying anal sex...i had to write something..it's def something else. at some point in your life you actually may want to try it..but just for a tip..if you want something better than doggie(in my opinion)go for the scissor position..if you want deep penetration and still able to get to the nipples that's the way to go...and it really does feel incredible...happens to be my fav. oh and just a btw...you can do anal missionary too lol...and then you can still get to your favorite thing...the tits...which is me too so i have to agree with you there..def a funny and well written story though...
So you do not like anal sex because of the smell that rises to your nostrils (even during doggy-style) and it is a turn off..hmmm
But you do like eating pussy. I wonder where your nose lies whne you are in a 69 position... That would be interesting..
My guess is that most guys would want to try it. It's another warm, moist hole and it feels good. I recently experienced my first anal orgasm while using a vibrator on my clit. The guy I was with put some 'Liquid Love' lubricant on his finger and then into my asshole and at the same time, a thumb into my pussy hole and finger fucked me fast and furiously to a glorious screaming heavenly soaking orgasm. I squirted for the 3rd time in my whole adult life this way! Sometimes, one must be willing to experiment to achieve maximum satisfaction sexually. The taboo of anal sex provides just enough kink to get those off that are willing to go there. So, let me just reiterate, I came in three places at the same time; my clit, my pussy and my
ass. I have the best lover! There is no one like him and there never will be!
First I gotta say your article was pretty funny.
Gotta tell ya though you don't always do things because you love them, you do them because your partner loves them. Not that you should be doing things you hate but every once and a while you can do the less favorite position because your partner likes it.
Personally I love doggie style. It is true that he doesn't get as deep, but my back and ass are major erogenous zones for me and nothing gets me going like when he nibbles on the back of my neck during sex. He doesn't indulge HIMSELF with that position, he does it because his favorite thing in the world is to get me off.
As for anal sex I love that too. It is not an everyday thing, once a month or so. It is like your favorite rich cheese cake, a few bites and your done.
If ya want to do it right, BE CLEAN!!! Enemas can clean you out nicely (I've never actually used one), and a shower before bed is a good thing anyway. Who wants to give oral sex to a penis that has been sweat on all day! You can also use condoms (although one of the really good things about being married and monogamus is not having to use them)
if you have an issue with it.
What it really boils down to is don't knock it 'till you try it and if you are going to try it RESEARCH and do it right to give yourself and your partner the best experience.
Be willing to try new things once and a while and you may discover a new favorite thing...that gets your partner off as well as yourself.
That was the funnies story I have read in a long time. Never had anal sex but my wife does not want to but we have done everything else. To each their own. Sex is way too good to be too serious thought. Keep up the good work!
I am a woman who enjoys occasional anal sex. On this site, you can tell which writers have experienced anal and those for which it's just a fantasy! Or those who want to leave all the gross bits out. It's not always clean, and sometimes it's difficult/painful, but done right...wow!
It's not for every day, but i don't find it humiliating or anything of the sort you imply in your essay. It's another variety of sexual act, and it can be a loving act between two people or the disgusting bit you seem to see it as. Yeah, it's not for everyone, but some people really love it!
First time I tried anal sex was with the second guy I'd ever slept with. We were petting heavy, no condom and I came up with the bright idea of trying anal. Neither one of us had a clue about lube or prep...that way HURTS! I jerked forward and knocked myself out on the TV in front of me. He bundled me into his car and sped off to the ER. While being admitted I almost punched out a nurse who kept trying to get me to sit down so she could check my vitals. But I moved on from that bad first time experience. I've been with 3 lovers since then that I've had anal sex with. None of my three had ever had anal before, and when it came up in foreplay sexual talk, all three had an interest. I honestly do enjoy it; I know it can hurt, I have the concussion and a faint, tiny scar to prove it, but when it's done right, and someone I really care about admits...I've always kind of wanted to try it, I love that I can be their "first." It's just one of those semi taboo, naughty things that should only be done when both people want it. And yeah it can be messy and awkward, but sometimes nasty is hot, especially with someone that you have such a strong relationship with that doing something, a lil uncouth or unladylike-or gentlemanly-won't send them screaming.
You are so right.
And no amount of talking is going to change it. Start out slow and small and decide for yourself. Even this silliness won't change anyones mind.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to Anal Sex, What Is the Big Deal?
orMore submissions by BOSTONFICTIONWRITER.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Anal Sex, What Is the Big Deal?:
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.