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English
mentioned in new poems review
I adore spider poems. This is a good write.
Funny title
I know Eve said in her review she'd like to see the last three lines be stronger, but I think they're perfect--funny, like the title.
I don't understand why you have "silk'n" though. It seems to detract from the poem by standing out as an anachronism. Also, I pronounce "silken" and "silk'n" exactly the same way, but that may just be my uncultured American accent.
~~
A fun little play on words here. Find I agree with Tzara about silk'n; but really, it's just a quirky matter of style choice {mine, not yours}.
Time to defend,....
....my use of "silk'n". I chose to do that as it gives the reader the option to see it as either "silken time to spare" OR "silk and time to spare".
Lovely concept
...but I query your choice of words. The first line doesn't need the shortening--"and" would help the rhythm, which is strong and sure elsewhere. Might you have put another couple of lines in to help the meaning? It wouldn't spoil what is a lovely poem.
*
read your defense, move time to first line, 2nd will open with a preposition. I gave you a 5, but you'll never know whether it's for the poem or the AV. I like this:
the breeze and sun send
electric streaks along its length
only to hide once more.
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