All Comments on 'Quarrelling with Kaylee'

You have an incredible ability to tell a story. I couldn't stop reading it. You are one of the most talented writers here on Literotica. I loved how it was all about the journey and not quick to the ultimate climax.

Holy motherfucking jesus harold christ shit in a canoe. I really don't know what to say. You write the evil temptress character so well it's better than reality. You, my friend, are a maestro of the erotic symphony. Thanks for the heart attack.

I must say that the seductress character you write is incredibly beleivable and realistic. I am deeply impressed and would like for you to write more in the future. I think you could do quite a bit with those characters. Very nice job, excellent work. Until then I remain...

-Just @ Fan

It is a mark of truly great writing that I can be so pissed off at your narrator guy. What a spineless wimp! I keep going over the ways he could have avoided this problem.

1.“Honey, your sister is REALLY hitting on me, and it’s making me uncomfortable.”

2.“Kaylee, would you please take your hand off my dick?”

3.Leave the house and don’t come back ‘til she’s gone.

The last option (i.e. fuck her brains out in the shower) probably makes for better reading, though. Excellent job. Keep up the good work.

EddyFox

Not a fan of cheating stories, but the sister was written well. Couldn't really tell if she was a real slut, or if she was trying to get the guy she's had a crush on for an extremely long time.

love the tease

thank you

You said to read to the end so I read all six pages... definately worth it! I was certain she was going to catch them and you proved me wrong. Now to see Chap 2, Summer Break ;)

I can't wait for the next installments!

Long but so worth it :)

Really enjoyed this story. This is one of the best I have read in a while. Thanks and keep on writing!

You know I never thought about cheating being so sexy until I started following your stories. Good thing this kind of situations isn't that common in real life, but I do hate you for making me fantasize about the possibilities.

Yeah, I know I should ask you to stop writing these kind of stories but you won't listen anyway. So thanks, more power to you and your wonderful works.

You're doing to us the readers what she did to him. It's rare that such a long story where we want action now can be so compelling all the way through. And without having to spin it out with the cheap titillation of getting the other sister involved: masterly!

I enjoyed the story. Great detail. Very sexy, please make a part two.

Amazing. Took the same self control as the central character to make it to the end!

That was fantastic. I mean, all your stories on here have been great. But, this one surpassed them all!

I can really picture the scenes happening as you describe them. Absolutely fantastic!

by far (and i have read a lot). i have never felt the need to comment until reading this story - bravo!

Once again, a nice piece of work! I thoroughly enjoyed "My Girlfriend's Rival," and this maintained the same rhythm and style you brought to that story.

I hope you continue to write stories, because you've got serious talent. I love all your stories, but this one is my favorite so far. Keep up the good work!

Why didn't you mention his name?! Anywho.. That was really good! I hope you write a second part to it! Summer Break!

I've been reading stories here for years, and never before have I felt compelled to shower praise upon a fellow author. When I first glanced through the introduction, I couldn't fathom someone trying to string out a seduction sequence for 7 pages, nor attempting to do so with constant and consistent crescendo from scene to scene. You have accomplished a near miracle, friend! If works like these recieved gold statues, I would nominate you in a heartbeat! Your hard work is not simply appreciated here; it has brought a surreal level of bliss into many lives. Please continue! Bravo! Encore! p.s. Have you ever considered adapting this for audio? I'll let the quiet unanimous groan of thousands reading this comment bear its weight on your imagination...

your story had me going from beginning to end. The flirty little tease had me wishing that fantasies could become reality...but a story is much safer. Your writing was well done, you really built up the suspense and just didn't resort to getting down and dirty right away like so many stories typically do. You told a story. Dang that was hot. Especially the line: My conscience was barely a whisper: I was mostly animal. I totally get it. hope to see a "making up (out) with Kaylee"???

Phew! Um, even though I was mightily frustrated at times by these characters, it would be a lie if I didn't say I absolutely loved this story, completely pulled off the seduction and I was practically defeated as I finished reading it. *goes to read more stories with this author*

When I started reading this story, I wondered how the basic premise of the introduction would spin out for seven pages, but I have to say that this was wonderfully done.

The descriptions were perfectly apt - neither too much nor to little; the perfect amount to build a complete picture. And the suspense built wonderfully throughout the story. I wanted him to cave in, but at the same time I didn't. You really highlighted his inner turmoil and guilt mixed with his desire. Excellently written.

The only thing that left me slightly annoyed when I read this story was my jealousy at being unable to write anything like as well as that myself =P

A fantastic story that is very well written and keeps the reader hooked all the way through. Really hot too! Looking forward to seeing what Kaylee gets up to in the (hopeful!) sequel!!! Roll on the summer!

One has to sort through alot of mediocre--and outright awful--material on this site to find the true jewels, but stories like this make it worthwhile. Superior writing. Would it be too much to ask for a sequel?

God, what I would give to be any of the hapless male victims from your stories! I guess the downside to that would be that the story wouldn't last NEARLY so long; I'm usually ready to pounce by the end of the first page! ;)

You're very good at what you do, and your seductresses are even better! Please keep this wonderful source of erotic, naughty, guilty pleasures coming!

This has got to be the best story to cover this particular fantasy, ever!

Simply brilliant, I'm going to enjoy this story for a long time.

How I wish that I could write like you, but as I can't, please keep them coming. Lots, lots more, please.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Througout it I kept thinking that his girlfriend might be in on the fun, knowing what her little sister was doing. Then when Kaylee said that her sister shouldn't be home from work, I thought I was right. As if they had it planned when she would find them. I was wrong, but way to keep me guessing. lol. (Even if it seems rather unintentional).

You're definitely my favorite writer, started slow, just perfect.

two words: the best.

Been there - done that a long,long,time ago!! Just seemed like I did it again but with the force much more intense than it was before ! Impossible--but very true. Like it was all happening again==but better than before,and thats impossible!! The years have come and gone but the feelings and thoughts will only die with me !! Thank you so much for your story !!!

Maybe the hottest story I've ever read.

This story blew me away, you are an amazing author. Please write a sequel to this!

I feel so much better after reading this *wink*

I love this one the most of all your stories. and all your stories are awesome. this one seems to tease you as well as take a time with the actual action-which seemed to be missing in your other stories. Some of the others were great teases, but the action always seemed quick or not enough.

Not this one! Perfect.

This story seemed to have a purpose, then it didn't, then it did again...really wasn't worth the time it took to read it.

I just loved the teasing...

wow... awesome...!!!

Brilliant writing!!! Absolutely one of 'the' best on this site!

what a story...from beginning to the end

Best I've read on here so far! Well worth the read.

It took a looong time to get to it but the teasing was nice. But how manys uh's and um's is that guy going to say??? It was really distracting.

Excellent

haha.. awesome story.. although I have to say, I did hope he wouldnt do it, lol.

so wrong towards the end there lol.

I have read two of your stories now and they both blew me away, I'm looking forward to reading the rest.

I realize it may be somewhat redundant now that he's given into temptation- but i would love a sequel.

i could Not stop reading this. jesus... kind of upset that he didn't 'ravage' her, (like he said he wanted to) but an amazing story none the less.

sequel perhaps?

Third story I've read from you. Third story I've adored!! Keep writing...PLEASE!!!

This is certainly one of my favorites on this site. I love stories where theres a lot of seduction, and this delivers in spades. Its really hot. Any chance of a summer sequel with Kaylee upping the ante? Keep up the great work.

Does Kaylee have a ywin...............

Kaylee is one of the best characters on this site. I wish I was dating her sister so I could have a chance with her. Great story. You need to use Kaylee in another story.

Teasing is only fun if there's a happy ending!!!! Best story so far!

I just registered for the site (just wrote my first story, actually) and wanted to say that this is one of the hottest things I've ever read. You are the master of the tease in all your stories, and this one drives me over the edge again and again. Well done.

Nobody. I mean nobody, has written a hotter story. I've read this story so many times its crazy. I don't care what people say, its your best story by far. I know you are working with another author, CaliforinaBlonde, on her story. Hers is great too.

But if you're looking for ideas, this one is the best written, most descriptive story I have ever read. You're an amazing writer.

You seriously need to do a sequel. Please?

It's a nice story, but I liked "Waking up to Dawn" better. That one's shorter and more even - this one is 6 pages of a suffering protagonist and 1 page of erotica. WutD is 4 pages of erotica.

This is so hot I couldn't stop reading it. The story is very well written. MAKE A SEQUEAL!!!

this story is one of the best i've ever read....on many occasions when i can't find the right thing to do the job i come back to this one and get blown away....MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE!!!

As for build up readers' anxious desire, you definitely are the best among all! It was like a long teasing foreplay before the full content and satisfation, I love your work and way of thinking! Alex W from Taipei Taiwan

I have to admit, the scene where she comes into the bedroom at night was beautifully written. Quite possibly one of the hottest/most fucked up things i've read in a while

Amazingly well written story. I'm going to jump firmly onto the 'sequel' bandwagon.

PLEASE WRITE A SEQUEL.

Best short story I've read in ages.

Amazing story. The way he builds up and then holds back is amazing style of writing. Just Great. Keep it up. I agree - a sequel in the summer break would help. This time it should be more free flowing - not holding back every time.

After reading this site for years this is the first time I've ever left a comment. Fantastic story well done. I love that buildup getting hotter and hotter as they get closer and closer to sex. I can't wait to read anything else you've written. Very hot.

Awesomeness. Just freaking awesome. Thanks.

This is easily my favorite story on this site. So hot!

The literary equivalent of the best striptease I've ever experienced...

This story is super sensual and hot. Well written and enjoyable!

That was amazingly written. Please say you have an idea for a sequel?

...what to do after I read all of your stories.

This is one of the best, if not the best, story i have ever read on this site.

great story, I really enjoy the mounting sexual tension, looking forward to reading more of your stories!

I'm 22 and read your stories from my iPhone while I... Well. :-)

You're an incredible writer!

I really want to meet you.

So much, I completely fell into the character's mind. This story is single-handedly the best I've read to date on this website.

I really liked this, some girls are more like boys at that age, sex sex sex is all they can think of as they have just got a hot new body and now know what it is for, great read, I hope you have done the follow up.....

Man, I kept hoping he'd take the out, tell the girlfriend what happened, and then it would turn into a three-way. I don't know, good story, but I don't like the fact the narrator was such a weak-willed dipshit. Still hope there's eventually a sequel.

This is definitely in the top five stories I have read on this sight. The build up has such an organic pace that really adds to the plausibility, and the prose is quite beautiful. I was actually in a very similar situation to his with my landlord's 18 year old daughter a few years back. It even included me rubbing lotion on her while she casually pulled the waist band and top of her bikini out of the way to ensure that I could get all of her tan lines; all while casually talking about completely mundane things. She had been at Coney Island, was locked out of her house, and had gotten more sun than she had hoped. It was so nice to relive that "relationship" it through this piece. The landlord's daughter ALSO wanted to hear about when, where, and how old she was the first time I wanted to fuck her. This story was almost uncanny in its realism. Well done.

Great writing dude...just a tantalizing build up from this horrible yet sexy tease. Your stories are awesome and fun reading

What a horny storyline. I wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes with a sexy little temptress like that. Keep writing.

This is the second story of yours that I have read and it is equally as impressive as the first. A great scenario, but more importantly, wonderful storytelling.

I vote no for a follow up, it's perfect as it is and the tension would not be there second time around. A similar story involving a beautiful seductress and a reluctant man? Definitely!

Congratulations!

I saw where the story was going and paged thru it, speed reading it until the last page. IMHO, the situation had appeal but it went wrong for me. The story has young sis deliberately seducing her sis's BF without a qualm; to me that reeks of a sociopathic or narcissistic user personality.

No thanks.

But it's REALLY close to Waking to Dawn, down to the male character constantly mumbing "Um, No" and the Kaylee's turn ons are almost the same as Dawn's. But Kaylee was not as annoying as Dawn and the male character was more fleshed out.Great job!

so when are you going to continue?

Ignore the dipstick with the pathetic "sociopathic" crap!

Ok yeah that other person is a douche. They knew what the story from the summary, why read it? Anyway omg completely hot! Please continue! I got so wet from it ;)

I thought this was tease. I pictured the two sisters planning this to test him and then give him the opportunity for a threeway.

Thank you.

Right up until the final lines, I did wonder if Melissa knew all about Kaylee's plans. Or will discover them in time for the hinter-at sequel?

I read a lot of stories on literotica ( or at least started before realizing they suck ) and you are by far the best writer ! I mean you keep the reader interested from the first word you write ! Just please , keep it up and dont change your writing style . This " good guy trying to resist a hot bad girl " stories are just great .

Been checking out your work, normally a fan and I'm not saying I didn't like this, it certainly had an effect (which is the point of any fiction right?).

In this case the effect was perhaps not the one desired. I got more pissed off at the dude and Kaylee for the entire story. I was hoping he'd get punched in the head and she'd be run over by an errant freight train. Very slowly.

He needed to grow some balls and tell Melissa everything without fully giving in or they needed to get caught and both kicked out of her life forever. Either way Kaylee needed to learn a serious life lesson about not betraying family. That or the agonising death thing...

This was superb. The overuse of stammering dialogue was a bit of a bother, but from the first sentence, you had me hooked. I hope there's a sequel in the works. I want more of Kaylee.

This was by far the best story on literotica that I have ever read.

I've been coming here - ;) - for about ten yrs now and have easily read over two thousand stories -- and this one tops them all. Best author on this site, no questions asked. Thank you for sharing your amazing writing, character building, and plot development, to say the least. I also hope you continue this story with her kid sister visiting again, or meeting up at family events, or surprising him at work, etc etc.

Either way, brilliant !!

This had a subtle and awesome effect on me as the story moved slowly towards awesome sex...

I love ur stories. I can totally relate with your characters - love to tease. Great job!

This story was so hot. I will second the person who said the stammering dialogue was over-used and distracting. There better be a sequel about that summer vacation, and it better be soon!

Dude, I came so hard lol

dftto fennel

I screamed Sequel Please!!!!!!! I love all the built-up tension, teasing, and anticipating you created. It just made the story so good and intriguing. I couldn't stop reading. If you ever think of writing sequel for that promising summer, please do! Kaylee is a skilled slutty temptress and I love it! xD

That was AMAZING!! PLEASE make the sequel!!! I read all you stories, not your book, and this is byfar the best! Please!

Keep it up mon. That was fun to read :D

I love that girl she is so good and devilish.. would have given up a long time ago lol

Although a lot of your stories are incredibly sensual and seductive, and show great craft as a writer, I always find myself disappointed by the depth of the characters beyond the coupling. Although it's often stories of a man in a relationship being seduced by another girl, there is never any real romance either between the man and his girlfriend, or between him and the seductress. I never understand why she is seducing him apart from wanting to steal someone's man in some grand act of disdain for all man.

I really love your story telling. This is what Adult movies should be like. More build-up and teasing instead of just going straight for the sex and close-ups of pussies.

Wow, I hate to admit for once that I have to agree with an anonymous poster...

9/13/12, the post about impressive writing skills but lack of character depth, essentially reflects my own feelings.

First, why should the narrator feel loyal to Melissa? What was their strong bond? Except for the one night where she has sex with him, I didn't really perceive any attraction between them. I also noticed that Melissa's behavior and words were often belittling to the narrator, implying he was a "dumb muscle" at the very beginning, scolding him later about not hanging out with her sister. I found it hard to comprehend what kept the two together for several years. It wasn't until the end shower scene where Melissa is concerned with his health that I actually could believe she genuinely cared deeply for him. There's also the fact he's practically obsessing over Kaylee. So an attractive young woman shows you some attention - what kind of guy, if he's in a committed long-term relationship has such obsessive thoughts drive him to such levels of distraction?

My next thoughts were about the apparent lack of Kaylee's character. She's a college aged girl, yes, but otherwise, what drives her to be that obsessed with tempting and seducing the narrator? Is it her crush on him from before? Is it because she's simply that slutty? Or could she have a bit of jealousy of her sister? I doubt that last possibility since they seemed to have a strong sisterly bond. But there didn't seem to be a clear motivation for her to act that way.

Well, besides those few complaints I had, your writing skills and sense of erotic build-up are quite exceptional. I will say I tend to only comment on stories that either impress me, or invoke an emotional response. I admit I was able to feel the narrator's anxiety and confusion, although, personally, I have always sought open communication in my relationships, so I couldn't understand why he wasn't more firm and open with Melissa about what was going on, especially if he truly cared for and valued their relationship.

Needless to say, I did really enjoy the story telling and the impeccably erotic and slow build-up.

Rex

Awesome!