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English
what the?
i think i like where this story is going... but what the heck? you keep switching scenes without notice, and the ending made no sense what so ever.
=]
i agree. the story was a bit all over the place. very good story line. i think lol
Confusion!
The writing seems to be a bit erratic! Quite muddled, all the time new characters appearing and one has to read the story over and over again to get the hang of it. Hope it will get better!
I agree
im am very confused. You use pronouns in places that leave me wondering if Chris is in fact Christian. And the new charecters need to be better explained. The story and plot are really awesome; however, you need an editor. I have read some of your other work and i really enjoyed it. I also know there isnt much you can do since you have finished this story already but i guess i will finish reading it and hope that i can soon understand it.
good story
but i just have to say, it's confusing. you introduce setting after different setting without any signal that it's just confusing.
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