The Werewolf and the Halfling Ch. 10

Wow!

I love the story so far, I don't know what to suggest for the next chapter but I will definately think about it and email you once I do!

calm before the storm

I think Jess and Christian deserve some calm down time. Send them someplace they can have a few weeks relaxation time to recoup and regroup, time to come up with a plan to protect themselves and their baby. Time to discover the true power of their union.

LOVE IT

Don't you dare stop writing this story.I absolutely love it. I agree that they need some time away from everything just to be together for a while.

suggestion

First, I must say I love this story and you have to continue. Second, it would be awesome if they had more than one baby so that they can fight Artemis' kid. Can tell us more about Gabriel, I feel that he and his mate came out of no where. Good luck on the next
one.

Your timeline is incredibly confusing. There is nothing to denote the passage of time at all. Characters and locations change without warning or explanation. The general idea for the story is a very good one, but heavy editing and rewriting is needed for clarity and polish.

I think it would be good to work on seperating your transitions between perspectives/scenes. By going from Mary/Jessica to the guys in the next paragraph and then back again becomes a bit difficult to follow at times. I think that is why the beginning was a bit confusing because we also didn't know the characters yet so the switches were harder to follow. A line maybe or an extra space between paragraphs might be good. It also might work better to stick with one scene longer rather than rapid switches back and forth.
It is a good story though. I am enjoying it.