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A Good Beginning
So far so good. You created a good background, although the first part was a little hard to follow. But it all seemed to come together in the end.
One favor, don't drag this out into a shaggy dog story.
Looking forward to more.
Plenty ah potential
I really enjoyed this chapter, I can hardly wait for the next one. I thought it was going to be just another quick srew at first, but I got drawn in in the end. I see potential for almost anything to happen from here.
nice beginning
let's see what happens next! Nice story
Nice start
This could be the beginning to something really good. I liked the dialog. Looking forward to more.
what's next
looking forward to seeing where this goes, will you be teasing us all the way through?
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