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English
Great
Enjoyed the first two chapters.
Boyd
Bullshit
"Uncle" Braxton cost you fifty. He ain't their uncle. How do you teach morals and lies in the same breath? That shows no imagination on your part. Otherwise, a decent tale.
Realistic
There is always a bit of conflict when dealing with kids and a growing relationship and many ways of dealing with it. I like this story, it reminds me of a few visits home over the years, some friends have not grown up and most have. Some of the people you disliked for whatever reason have turned out to be really good and others changed for the worse. I look forward to seeing how this plays out in your mind.
Critics
I enjoyed it. To reply to the individual complaining about 'Uncle'...they should live where I do, Everybody, is Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle, Auntie, relative or not. So no worries on that score.
Bullshit needs lessons
I don't know where he/she/it grew up but in many parts of this USofA, many family friends were uncles, aunts etc. Friends were part of extended familys. Great story and please continue. Not all who remain anon. are as rude and crude as some.
bad combination
poor AND uninspiring characters in a story makes it deadeningly boring. even a good writer like Jack_Straw can't rescue such a combination.
it is not only totally hypocritical but idiotic for the "hero" to be judging that guy (ex basebal player?) whose mission in life seemed to be to fuck fresh pussies, hookers or any one with two legs.
if every time the "hero" looks into the mirror he doesn't see himself as a failure as well as a hypocrit, 'tis no wonder he would judge that other guy, who is at least HONEST about fucking WILLING 20 year olds.
no woman could stand our great hero --- except for those in dire straits, with a few kids and not very good jobs and needing another spouse to help out --- as his former wife/girl friend clearly testified to, just before he moved back home...
he has doing very similar things like that ex- high school acquiatance/friend, yet after fucking teens with that guy, he tells us how horrible he feels! this guy is in his, what?, late 30's or early 40's, right? what a freakin' loser and a hypocrit!
I've often considered the lyrics
to that song, as well. We tend to try to remain in our glory days and sometimes a person's life cannot live up to their high school heroics and those people are often sad to watch. Late bloomers seem better adjusted a lot of times. I really like this story. Jack Straw tells them as well as anyone!
A Good Story
Very realistic. For me this is a reflection of the large part
of us non-heroes. The best is apparently always in the past, if your memory survives the march of Time.
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