It was okay as far as a purely sexual story goes but there isn't that much more effort involved in putting together a plot around the sex. I realize that the sex was the most important thing for you in this story and that's fine but a plot would make it that much more erotic. Additionally you used the word once at least 7 times in this short story. Maybe it's just me but after a few paragraphs it kind of annoyed me. Put a thesaurus next to you when you write. Then when you feel you have used a word more than a few times you can easily get another that fits.
good story sounds just like my wife, she loves to serve black cock like that and i enjoy getting to watch as often as i can, and she enjoys telling me about it when i can not be there, this is something she would go wild to do every week
or more often
Needs more than just the sex
It was okay as far as a purely sexual story goes but there isn't that much more effort involved in putting together a plot around the sex. I realize that the sex was the most important thing for you in this story and that's fine but a plot would make it that much more erotic. Additionally you used the word once at least 7 times in this short story. Maybe it's just me but after a few paragraphs it kind of annoyed me. Put a thesaurus next to you when you write. Then when you feel you have used a word more than a few times you can easily get another that fits.
god dannngg
Fingered so hard to this.
HOT
good story sounds just like my wife, she loves to serve black cock like that and i enjoy getting to watch as often as i can, and she enjoys telling me about it when i can not be there, this is something she would go wild to do every week
or more often
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