by KattieLynn
Well written. All to often in these stories grammar and spelling suffer.
Wonderful sex scene. The early explanation of both virginal pride and pain were an unusual combo for a newer writer. Keep up the good work.
Good story. Don't rely on spell check to capture your mistakes. One example (and a bad one): you wanted "orgasm", but you typed "organism". My best suggestion is to read your work out loud, not under your breath in a mumble (it's too easy to skip over things). Several quotes are also on the wrong side of the punctuation. Direct quotes go outside, indirect on the inside -- that's simplified, but usable for what you need.
Don't worry. You can re-submit the story as a revision.
Keep writing. You have talent.
This would be a wonderful story if it weren't for the wrong words, *missing* words (those are quite a jolt when you come across them) and so on. Literotica has many helpful editors.
. . . beautifully described. You are a very talented writer. Yes, there were a few typos or misused words, but for the most part I read right over them and became caught up in the flow of the story. I look forward to reading more of your work.
It was fine on a technical level. But the emotion fell flat and truly lacked any authenticity. It had all the insight and sincerity of a greeting card.
Why do the authors here place the hymen deep in the vigana when it is at the very front? If you are a woman you should know this.
I find it amazing that neither of you could accurately locate a hymen. That little membrane is at the very portal of the vagina. The penis can push against it once it is in position to enter the vagina, but there is no first stretching of the vaginal canal. No thrusting of several inches and then encountering the hymen.That is just stupid!