I liked this Matt character - he seemed warm & interested in her. I also liked the food descriptions... mmm, smores. :)
by
Anonymous04/15/07
Good start
In the first paragraph you open with, "this is the first date I've had in 6 years" which caught my attention. I want to know why, especially since this woman is ready to fall for the first guy that comes through her door. They just met, first date, and they are having sex. The same thing with him - he supposedly doesn't know her but brings a rose with a note saying that this is going to be the start of something special - which I would find corny on a first date. If this is a stroke story, my emotions are not invested to care if they have sex or not. If this is a start of a story, then it is a good start though you threw immediately hooks that you left unanswered and I was annoyed because of that.
English
Nice sensations!
I liked this Matt character - he seemed warm & interested in her. I also liked the food descriptions... mmm, smores. :)
Good start
In the first paragraph you open with, "this is the first date I've had in 6 years" which caught my attention. I want to know why, especially since this woman is ready to fall for the first guy that comes through her door. They just met, first date, and they are having sex. The same thing with him - he supposedly doesn't know her but brings a rose with a note saying that this is going to be the start of something special - which I would find corny on a first date. If this is a stroke story, my emotions are not invested to care if they have sex or not. If this is a start of a story, then it is a good start though you threw immediately hooks that you left unanswered and I was annoyed because of that.
Great start!
This is a great start Sweetie...I can't wait to read more! Hurry up and write it!!
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