Good story, but you have quite a few spelling and/or grammar errors. Would read much smoother if you fix these.
by
Anonymous04/26/07
Use the Spell Check
Love the story.
Love the flow, continuity, and descriptions.
HATE the spelling.
All my word programs have spell check of some sort; is yours broken?
Please continue the story.
by
Anonymous04/26/07
Spell check only checks spelling of words you use.
Quite often it was the wrong word but spelled correctly.
You need a good editor
by
Anonymous04/26/07
Please NO "Spellchecker"!!
Do everyone a favour and ignore the advice to use a so-called but totally mis-named "Spellchecker". As the other comment said, they do NOT check the spelling, they check the word - if the combination of letters you use is in its dictionary, it's supposedly OK, even if it's the wrong word. (My biggest cringe is when writers use 'defiantly' when it's obvious that they mean 'definitely' - there's no way a "Spellchecker" could pick up that error!). Spelling depends on context (eg 'there', 'their' and 'they're') and there isn't a cheap PC package bright enough to do that. Human editors, on the other hand, can. They can also tell you when paragraphs are too long, when there has been an incorrect change of tense or Point of View and they can help you to avoid "painting yourself into a corner" when it comes to plot development. Get a human editor!
by
Anonymous04/27/07
Clean it up!
Not a bad story, but your poor spelling and grammar overshadow any good qualities. If you don't know the correct usage of your/you're and there/their/they're you have no business doing any sort of writing.
by
Anonymous04/27/07
Learn the language that you wite in.
You had a fine story, and you told it well, but your spelling and grammar suck. Every spelling, or grammatical error pulls your readers right out of the story trance that you worked hard to put them into. Most of us who write stories spend a lot of time working to develop our language skills. Many of us edit, and rewrite a story several times to make it as correct as we can before we present it to our readers. We want to offer them the very best that we can produce. Writing stories is fun and rewarding, but it does take some effort to do it well. Learn a little, then write some more. learn a little more and write a little more.
Take some pride in what you do. Don't let your readers see
you as too damned ignorant to learn or even care about the language you were born with. As a writer, your language is the only tool you have. Learn to use it well.
Good story, but the grammar and obvious mistakes made it VERY hard to follow. You had repeating words, you jumped from the present to the past tense, I even saw an "I he" in there! And 26B breasts? Surely you meant 36B or something. I don't think you could find a 26 ANYTHING in a bra! How are they going to move if they aren't big enough for a bra? I normally don't get too critical about things like spelling, but there were places that we had to read multiple times and GUESS what you meant to say! The story was a nice idea, especially making the little sister so aggressive, but it was frustrating trying to read through all of the mistakes!
by
Anonymous06/12/07
Very nice
Very nice I look forward to reading more of this story arch.
Why cant these authors re-read their submissions before they submit them - maybe then they would correct their mistakes - it so spoils the story to try and read what they mean - if anyone wants an editor - I would be very happy to do the job - I had a 99% English mark - so contact me if you want to have your stories edited - otherwise not a bad story
The story was good, but the grammar mistakes were very distracting. Take some time to learn phrasing and verb tenses. It showed good imagination, though. You just need a good proofreader.
was tuff to try to get though maybe find someone to proof read 4 you and spell check saves my ass lol
by
Anonymous10/16/12
a sisterly way
Reminds me of my brother and myself... and all the fun we've had over the past 15 years of making love to each other. And without mom and dad ever finding out about our love for each other. I'm 26 and he's 28 now. We started with oral sex before vaginal sex a week later and then anal sex 3 days later after that. I was 11 and he was 13 when we started our evermore loving relationship with incest. We got an apartment together too.
i had to stop and decipher what some of the sentences were meant to say, then you missed a's and and's which made her speech sound like she was dutch hahahaha
by
Anonymous07/16/13
WTF?
If there was such a thing as 'hot gibberish' then this is the textbook definition of it. There's a story kicking and screaming to get out, but the author (!!) lacks the skill, vocabulary, and facility with language to draw it out. This is an SOS; please, someone rescue this story!
it all went too fast and you should have used spellcheck
by
Anonymous10/07/15
IS THIS REALLY YOUR BEST WORK???
Are you proud of this? Can you point to this with pride??
say (-I) he got a degree
He based his whole degree chose (choice)
He pulled (-was pulling) into the driveway
and noticed that no cares were around (cars)
his parent's would be at work (parents)
brown roof, Brown garage (brown)
went to his old room assuming that he was going to stay in his old room.His room was exactly like it was four years before
change of cloths (clothes)
The slightly over weight tummy (overweight)
He turned the water (on) and adjusted
'what the heck, she's my sister' he gang (?????)
I heard you breath a little funny (breathe)
like ever man looks (every)
She revealed her (26B????) (36B???) breasts
shirt popped of her (off)
It seams that little friend (ssems)
I'm (your) brother
I'm women now (a woman)
I choose to be with (you,) Jake
and pulled her brought off (bra)
mouth went strait (straight)
slipped them of her legs (off)
Jake then lent in for the kill (leaned/went)
started (to) really kiss him
lunged straight on to him (onto)
(with Robin) (-S)(s)ucking franctically
giving him (-a) (the) blow of a life time (lifetime)
Her mouth moved up and down on his (-mouth) (dick) furiously and (-his dick) (it) was becoming bright red
suck the remaining cum of his cock (off) after ever last drop (every) was clean (cleaned)
(He) (-say) (said) that he
bunched their cloths (clothes) together and head (headed) out through the hallway naked towards there (their) rooms. When Jake head (headed) over
in her door way (doorway)
watch a little but (butt)
he cam (came) out (of) his room
give us a huge (hug)
giving a exclaimed (????) wink.
greated the rest (greeted)
that snipers never identify themselves? Notice these self-proclaimed editors choose a public arena to show other's up and prove to the world at large how smart they are.
If you feel like you have to correct someone do it in private not some snarky public attack
English
Please find an editor!
Good story, but you have quite a few spelling and/or grammar errors. Would read much smoother if you fix these.
Use the Spell Check
Love the story.
Love the flow, continuity, and descriptions.
HATE the spelling.
All my word programs have spell check of some sort; is yours broken?
Please continue the story.
Spell check only checks spelling of words you use.
Quite often it was the wrong word but spelled correctly.
You need a good editor
Please NO "Spellchecker"!!
Do everyone a favour and ignore the advice to use a so-called but totally mis-named "Spellchecker". As the other comment said, they do NOT check the spelling, they check the word - if the combination of letters you use is in its dictionary, it's supposedly OK, even if it's the wrong word. (My biggest cringe is when writers use 'defiantly' when it's obvious that they mean 'definitely' - there's no way a "Spellchecker" could pick up that error!). Spelling depends on context (eg 'there', 'their' and 'they're') and there isn't a cheap PC package bright enough to do that. Human editors, on the other hand, can. They can also tell you when paragraphs are too long, when there has been an incorrect change of tense or Point of View and they can help you to avoid "painting yourself into a corner" when it comes to plot development. Get a human editor!
Clean it up!
Not a bad story, but your poor spelling and grammar overshadow any good qualities. If you don't know the correct usage of your/you're and there/their/they're you have no business doing any sort of writing.
Learn the language that you wite in.
You had a fine story, and you told it well, but your spelling and grammar suck. Every spelling, or grammatical error pulls your readers right out of the story trance that you worked hard to put them into. Most of us who write stories spend a lot of time working to develop our language skills. Many of us edit, and rewrite a story several times to make it as correct as we can before we present it to our readers. We want to offer them the very best that we can produce. Writing stories is fun and rewarding, but it does take some effort to do it well. Learn a little, then write some more. learn a little more and write a little more.
Take some pride in what you do. Don't let your readers see
you as too damned ignorant to learn or even care about the language you were born with. As a writer, your language is the only tool you have. Learn to use it well.
Good idea, needs lots of work though!
Good story, but the grammar and obvious mistakes made it VERY hard to follow. You had repeating words, you jumped from the present to the past tense, I even saw an "I he" in there! And 26B breasts? Surely you meant 36B or something. I don't think you could find a 26 ANYTHING in a bra! How are they going to move if they aren't big enough for a bra? I normally don't get too critical about things like spelling, but there were places that we had to read multiple times and GUESS what you meant to say! The story was a nice idea, especially making the little sister so aggressive, but it was frustrating trying to read through all of the mistakes!
Very nice
Very nice I look forward to reading more of this story arch.
spelling again
Why cant these authors re-read their submissions before they submit them - maybe then they would correct their mistakes - it so spoils the story to try and read what they mean - if anyone wants an editor - I would be very happy to do the job - I had a 99% English mark - so contact me if you want to have your stories edited - otherwise not a bad story
well i liked it
good story but spelling etc was a bit off putting
Practice, Man. Practice!
The story was good, but the grammar mistakes were very distracting. Take some time to learn phrasing and verb tenses. It showed good imagination, though. You just need a good proofreader.
not much of a writer ..sorry
was tuff to try to get though maybe find someone to proof read 4 you and spell check saves my ass lol
a sisterly way
Reminds me of my brother and myself... and all the fun we've had over the past 15 years of making love to each other. And without mom and dad ever finding out about our love for each other. I'm 26 and he's 28 now. We started with oral sex before vaginal sex a week later and then anal sex 3 days later after that. I was 11 and he was 13 when we started our evermore loving relationship with incest. We got an apartment together too.
lol
i had to stop and decipher what some of the sentences were meant to say, then you missed a's and and's which made her speech sound like she was dutch hahahaha
WTF?
If there was such a thing as 'hot gibberish' then this is the textbook definition of it. There's a story kicking and screaming to get out, but the author (!!) lacks the skill, vocabulary, and facility with language to draw it out. This is an SOS; please, someone rescue this story!
Not a fan
it all went too fast and you should have used spellcheck
IS THIS REALLY YOUR BEST WORK???
Are you proud of this? Can you point to this with pride??
say (-I) he got a degree
He based his whole degree chose (choice)
He pulled (-was pulling) into the driveway
and noticed that no cares were around (cars)
his parent's would be at work (parents)
brown roof, Brown garage (brown)
went to his old room assuming that he was going to stay in his old room.His room was exactly like it was four years before
change of cloths (clothes)
The slightly over weight tummy (overweight)
He turned the water (on) and adjusted
'what the heck, she's my sister' he gang (?????)
I heard you breath a little funny (breathe)
like ever man looks (every)
She revealed her (26B????) (36B???) breasts
shirt popped of her (off)
It seams that little friend (ssems)
I'm (your) brother
I'm women now (a woman)
I choose to be with (you,) Jake
and pulled her brought off (bra)
mouth went strait (straight)
slipped them of her legs (off)
Jake then lent in for the kill (leaned/went)
started (to) really kiss him
lunged straight on to him (onto)
(with Robin) (-S)(s)ucking franctically
giving him (-a) (the) blow of a life time (lifetime)
Her mouth moved up and down on his (-mouth) (dick) furiously and (-his dick) (it) was becoming bright red
suck the remaining cum of his cock (off) after ever last drop (every) was clean (cleaned)
(He) (-say) (said) that he
bunched their cloths (clothes) together and head (headed) out through the hallway naked towards there (their) rooms. When Jake head (headed) over
in her door way (doorway)
watch a little but (butt)
he cam (came) out (of) his room
give us a huge (hug)
giving a exclaimed (????) wink.
greated the rest (greeted)
ever notice
that snipers never identify themselves? Notice these self-proclaimed editors choose a public arena to show other's up and prove to the world at large how smart they are.
If you feel like you have to correct someone do it in private not some snarky public attack
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