You did great in the set-up and the when things were getting hot, you shut it down at the end. Anticlimactic, for sure.
by
Anonymous04/29/07
WTF?
All the makings of a great story, only to be let down at end. Is there such a thing as blue balls in erotica? If there is, you certainly got that down. If you didn't know how to write the actual sex, do a chapter story. In fact, you can still do that. But with no big ending, this story doesn' merit much of a reading.
A good start...
You did great in the set-up and the when things were getting hot, you shut it down at the end. Anticlimactic, for sure.
WTF?
All the makings of a great story, only to be let down at end. Is there such a thing as blue balls in erotica? If there is, you certainly got that down. If you didn't know how to write the actual sex, do a chapter story. In fact, you can still do that. But with no big ending, this story doesn' merit much of a reading.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Girl Next Door or
More submissions by Many Feathers.