Sounds like it could be a great story, but your short and choppy sentences are really distracting and take away from the story. Ask some of the other writers for advice or editing for you´re story so that it can be the best that it can be. Other than that, I´m looking forward to a second chapter. I love Italian men.
Can I just say, "BRAVO!" You take the cake for good plots. Very original. I haven't read one like this on this site yet. I'm going to go read them all now.
Interesting...
Sounds like it could be a great story, but your short and choppy sentences are really distracting and take away from the story. Ask some of the other writers for advice or editing for you´re story so that it can be the best that it can be. Other than that, I´m looking forward to a second chapter. I love Italian men.
This is a great plot...
Can I just say, "BRAVO!" You take the cake for good plots. Very original. I haven't read one like this on this site yet. I'm going to go read them all now.
Good
Nice start.
Nice
Good start.
*****
*****
So glad I found this
Saw the first chapter and really liked it. Glad to find the rest of your story and am looking forward to reading it.
Muy Bien
Thus far good start.
INTRIGUED I AM
CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE
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