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English
Stunningly good
This story is wonderful... am actually crying as I type this.... I particularly liked how you portrayed BRAD's downward drinking spiral as being the same manifestation of the Pain the mother went through... but in a dififerent way.
A some may know .. I was / am a Stay at Home Dad (SAHD). EVERY time my kid went out to play I was there. EVERYTIME. No excpetions...I'd bring a lawn chair and a book and find a shady tree but I was there. At first the other parants didnt know who the hell I was or what I was doing. One of the parents called the cops on me. GOOD! At least some was worried but the real question is why didnt the police get 10 phone calls about some guy sitting by a tree watching kids play...??
So the cop pulls up and says "what are doing" ... why... who are you. So I tell him. He says do you work...? I said sure. He says "you can afford to do this?"... I said I cant afford NOT to.
I Know evil. All that evil needs to win is for the Good people do....NOTHING.
I am deeply involved in the VA parole system and the VA state legislature to make sure violent repeat offenders are NOT released early in THIS state. I check once a week which sex offenders are registered
and have moved into which areas.
Evil will have its "wins" but Not today. The little that I do will sometimes make a difference.
Sad story; very well written
Jack, I can't say that I "loved" this story as it is so sad that it brought many tears to my eyes (but I gave it 100 anyway). I agree with Harry's previous comment - evil is real and we must never ever forget that.
Thank you.
Love is all. Phil
Sad and lovely story, Jack!
You created a sense of empathy in the story that made the reader root for Allison ... that out of the crucible of the pain she could find the love she needed and deserved.
A heavy topic done with a light touch ... a balancing of the good and evil that both pervade our world.
Beautifully written - well told!
Regards, jack
Good except for...
A very touching story but it doesn't get a top mark due to this unbelievable sentence: "But, like I said, I wouldn't wish that kind of hell on anyone who didn't deserve it." Incredibly, the author is saying that he believes that there are people in this world who deserve to have their children abducted, tortured, raped and murdered. The notion that innocents should suffer for the sins of others is vile and revolting.
Thank you, jack_straw, for your effort.
Only one comment
A thinking, touching story with only one critique - I found the wife too harsh. Though not perfect in any means, the wife could move forward, but the husband couldn't. He took up drinking. She judged him and his character without any compassion.
Fathers are supposed to protect their babies. They are supposed to save them and he couldn't.
He couldn't live with that - and it bears a follow up story for this character who was maligned as a weak worthless human being that succumbed to pain and the darkness which resides in our souls. I hope he gets his story. I would enjoy that one.
Very well done story of horror in life.
I think you gave us a very good story and the mom’s point of pain and growth to learn to live again. I do so agree with the Anonymous commenter who started with “Only One Comment” that the father’s life be explored.
To label the father as weak inside is as wrong as to the truth of human personalities. It is not a sign of weakness that a person fights in a war and serves with distinction and valor, yet when the are allowed to become safe and away from the danger for good, as in being discharged. They can not cope with what has transpired in their life. They may become an alcoholic or other type of addict. They may become depressed and see their whole personality change to a person who is a recluse. They may see no value in the world for them anymore. Most who see horrors do change in some manner, if it’s only to be different as to how they now perceive the world.It is not a weakness to face what is unimaginable to most all of us and not be able to see those horrors over and over in our minds. Some of us can capsulate it as “This was war and not my real life” or “God’s will being done.” None that I know will call it God’s will without a lot of blind faith to lean on to believe it. True faith is believing when you have nothing concrete you can put your arms around. I have worked with a number of people who have faced many tragedies that most would find more daunting then anything they will ever experience in their lives. They all had one thing in common. They did what all would expect of them but they feel there must have been something they could have done better to make the outcomes different.Let me say even an expected death in the family brings all of us to a layer of this feeling that some feel stronger then others.If you feel you can give it the time maybe you could tell us what was the mindset of this horrified father.Thank you for your story and great effort you always put into what you give us to feel and read.PT
Exceptional - Again
Again - Exxxxceptional
Plus it drives home the fact that life can get better even at it's darkest moments. Don't give up!
Thanks Author - you continue to grow and expand in a very credible way.
With Very High Regard
Great Story!
Very well written.
I Did Not Like This Story
I don't think there is any entertainment value at all in child abduction and murder. The "Amber" that the Amber Alert System is named after lived, and died, in my city.
She was abducted less than 5 miles from where I live. and less than a mile from my wife's childhood home. I do understand that it is a writer's choice to pick his topics
and methods of delivering his story, but no story that uses kidnapping and murder of
children will ever get any support from me. 1 Star, just because I couldn't give it less.
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