Very hot and horny... can't wait for next installment! Off for a wank myself!
by
Anonymous05/18/07
Interesting idea poorly executed.
The fetish is an interesting one, but the story is plain silly in my opinion.
There is no tension between the characters, no persuasion or reasoning offered. No motivation for actions given and no logical reason for the few minor plot developments. Why change bins???
And even if someone was interested in this fetish would they really want someone to pee on their own carpet? I doubt it.
You need to give it more detail, development and thought, you just keep covering the same acts again and again without build-up or tension.
English
Mmmmmm
Very hot and horny... can't wait for next installment! Off for a wank myself!
Interesting idea poorly executed.
The fetish is an interesting one, but the story is plain silly in my opinion.
There is no tension between the characters, no persuasion or reasoning offered. No motivation for actions given and no logical reason for the few minor plot developments. Why change bins???
And even if someone was interested in this fetish would they really want someone to pee on their own carpet? I doubt it.
You need to give it more detail, development and thought, you just keep covering the same acts again and again without build-up or tension.
Just lovely. Mel xx
That Story made me HOTTER than Hell!!!
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