by glynndah
I have to go to Wal Mart real quick, I will be right back!
to aooooo many people :) I might do just that.
Good luck in the contest,
Maharat
I had no idea that such a treasure trove of toys and relationship aids were available at the local Walmart. I think I'll be taking a peek in other people's carts and trying to figure out who's into what.
Very well done, Glynndah ... imaginative, informative and amusing as all heck.
Great topic selestion!! Loved the field trip through WalMart. Remember there is the self checkout isle if too embarssed to go through a regular line. Good Luck with the Contest.
Educational and fun at the same time - excellent! This one certainly deserves to do well in he contest. Good luck!
If you have an open imagination, there are many things than can be used as sex toys. Different clothing and gear can be used for role play! But the best sex toy is still the mind.
Loved It! Very Creative!
Down Under it's called K-mart but department store shopping trips will never be the same again! He he he!
in the sporting goods.........the old snakebite kit. Use them as nipple suckers,,,,,,,great job!!
...I know you meant it mostly tongue in cheek, but it is really quite amazing what you can think of when you put your mind to it...I've been known to go one step farther a cruise the aisles of Dollar stores, picking up different things and wondering "hmmm...what could I use THIS for?"...a long strand of faux pearls wrapped around certain anatomy parts...tassles for dangling over soft skin...paint brushes for applying that chocolate sauce...Well done, and good luck in the contest!
This was really cute, but you didn't mention the alternative use for candles. Walmart and K-Mart are two different stores, but similar. I don't think you can get a rabbit vibe at either one.
Hey do you think veggies are a good ides?
Zuchinnis, cucumbers, you get the drift.....?
Very original, and very cute. I will never look at shopping at Wal-Mart in the same wag again. And some parts of your story brought back memories....
But don't you DARE go to Home Depot without stopping by to get me. Great story, LYG
you miss spelled TRECK :D
loved it, but what about the plumbing section of Wal-Mart....coulda got one of them shower head thingys....
Excellent, though the stores over here have even less than you desribed
Who would have thought such a good little witch would know how many pervertables are in HellMart! I'm adding to my shopping list even now. I think I'll go by the sporting goods section for some fishing weights (hmmmm, where could I attach those?) and to the craft section for a nice piece of fur.
It was amazing to read this tonight...I did a similar shopping trip through the dollar store just recently. The only limits are one's imagination.
on your trip around walmart. Walmart is a great place for cheap trashy lingerie. The type you wouldn't care if you just ripped it off.
Also in the condom aisle (these you can get at CVS or Rite aid too) the condons that come with vibrating cock rings, kinky sex gone main stream.
Nice piece, some of the how to's can get a little boring.
I never thought one could buy sex toys at Wal Mart, but I guess that's entirely based on one's creativity...
Great story, and very creative. You may also want to consider Bed, Bath & Beyond, too... some of the kitchen implements are fun... like the lemon reamer, or the basters....
Hehehe.........who says WalMart is a FAMILY store!!!!! THat was funny, and useful!!!!
I've been on such a shopping spree with my husband. Feather dusters, ties... :D Good luck in the contest to a good little witch. ~Minx
a good refresher for those of us considered "experienced" and the tounge in ceek story line was so much fun.. excellent!
-J
what a concept! Clever and ingenious piece of writing. A standout in this category. Good luck in the contest.
Great Job - felt like I was pushing the damned cart! AWESOME!
This is the most awesome how-to ever! Loved the walk-through. Now, if only I could get my husband to read this....Maybe I'l leave it next to the PS3???
You are right on with this. I bought my favorite toy at Wal-Mart for $10. Best ten bucks I ever spent.
So perfect! I never thought of some of those things but you can bet i will be now. I loved the humor too.
And one of the most creative stories I've read. Great narrative, and I laughed so hard!! Cheers!
The laundry aisle. All kinds of clothespins and rope. Great how-to, informative and very funny.
A good laugh can be damned sexy! Well done, & good luck in the contest! :)
Love this! Folks forget to use their imagination for funtimes. The 'comeback' comments completed the whole picture. I followed you all around the store, laughing all the way.
That was great - very well written, yet full of handy hints :)
Funny, imaginative, and well done. Congrats, glynndah.
Top stuff. Just got to substitute "Big W" for Walmart and it's all there!
This was way funny. yet, there were some good tips too. I'm still trying to get my husband to understand thread count! I may have to go to Wally world tonight....
And you can get your eyes checked, too, in case you're worried that she might have just looked better in the dark lighting of the bar last night, after your third gin and tonic. Great stuff, witch. Good luck!
This was great and full of helpful tips.
Good luck with the contest.
hilarious! You had me in stitches!! I'll never feel quite the same about shopping again...
I'm still chuckling at the humorous and truly excellent advice.
Good luck in the contest!
That was the best story in a long time that I have read...humurous...and gave me some great ideas to spice up the romanance
I loved your sense of humor here. Now, do you have a sequel planned for the man who has interests that would take him to the Dom Depot? ;)
mwy
A great read, and full of good ideas, if a little bondage slanted. Don't forget your self-adhesive velcro strips (from Fabrics) if you want a safe evening of restraint. And bananas, natch. Healthy eating and a good alternative to that industrial "massager." ;)
You left out the embarrassment of having to go to the pharmacist to unlock the condom cabinet. :)
At least they lock them up here in H-Town, I don't know about elsewhere.
Good story. I like it.
Exceptionally creative....shows a very active imagination....gotta like that!
I love you. This is fantastic! Creative and funny, and who knew wal-mart could be sexy?
Star Terk! HAHAHAHA! Soooo much better than most of the writing here ... I bet you are a professional (writer, that is). Your other stories are excellent too, thanks!
i dont now what altoids are but i laughed so hard, seriously funny and sexy.... i guess we dont have altoids in australia or wallmart... but i still laughed... good job
Also if you embarrassed and your dates the next day or you wanna go together Wal-mart is open 24/7
I loved this, it was funny, sexy, inventive, and entertaining. I loved the references too. Star trek, and the "He man woman haters club" That was from the Little Rascals. XD lol,
I love the way this was written. It had an excellent balance of humor and teasing lust and genuine suggestions slipped into it all.
Thanks for the enjoyable read!
I'm sorry but there is no Walmarts near where I live. CVS is the only store I can go to. But when I close my eyes and vision the isles,I can see the many objects that are sexual.
One thing that was not mentioned was the section with household tools. I am sure that I can find something extra there.
I am single and tomorrow when I go to CVS I will buy some girly products to keep in my closet for future use.
Just to give you an example; I have a bottle of shampoo and a sponge in my shower, nothing else. I start at the top and soap down to the bottom and rinse off and I'm finished. I find no need for oils or hand cloths or other items. Now I'm going to make sure that what a woman wants will be there and luckily there are some women that I know who will tell me just what to buy and maybe even help me buy them.
By the way I've read some of the other topics in this section and they are great. See Sex over Sixty for one. and read all the comments. sometimes their better than the topic.
It was a good funny read. But at the same time gave me many new ideas.
I don't think I'll ever see Walmart the same way... :)
Ok, it's already fun. You forgot to stop in the candy aisle for Pop-Rocks. Next stop after Walmart? Home Depot! Ropes and chains, gardening tools with funny shaped handles, rubber gloves, industrial cleaner. Then Tractor Supply Company! Dog collars, leather bridles and reins, saddles, buggy whips, leather repair and leather treatment stuff, electric fence supplies.
That was soooooooooo funny, my wife thought I was chocking at one point cause I was laughing so hard, keep up the great stories I like them a lot!
i work at walmart and i laughed all the way through this! good job!
Hilarious one, good witch. Couldn't stop laughing, even snorted in a couple of places. Not cool.
A magic bit of writing, that, and a sincere thanks for the wit.
It also gives a few basic ideas to anyone not so skilled in the loving arts, I think (personally, I ain't sure of the collars, but whatever floats yer boat, I guess).
HP
Except for lube and condoms, I never thought of finding other sexy toys and implements at Wal Mart. Could you imagine if they combined these items for an adult toy section? It would give a whole new meaning to "Cleanup on Aisle 69!"
You made me laugh several times, little witch. You had me at the STAR TERK bedsheets... (I can still kept them for weekends, right...?)
Thank you, glynndah.
S
This is awsome, while I have done some shopping at walmart, I will be sure to get a bit more creative :) Had me laughing the whole time, reminds me of sveral guys I know....
This made my day, good lady.
Every time I browse the local pharmacy an assistant manager runs over and stares into my cart. Ever optimistic that I might get lucky, I like to travel prepared.
We are blessed with an abundance of pet supply stores in suburban Philadelphia; I can have leather for every occasion.
Keep up the good work.
I remember when I went to get one of those vibrators at the Wal~Mart and it was for my aching muscles, really. But this older lady had a grin like a Cheshire cat on her face and was watching me like a hawk. She didn't work there and I wasn't sure what the hell she was doing or why she was doing it. As I was going to my car in the parking lot, she caught up to me and made some small talk, and then asked about the vibrator. I told her that I was in construction and that it was for my aching muscles. She told me what else they were used for and then my face got beet red, according to her. She apologized and asked me if I was interested in going out with her. I told her that I needed to buy some condoms. She reached into her purse and pulled out a box of Trojans and said "I've already got that covered, sonny." I was fast running out of excuses. She gave me her address and told me that if I was interested to be there at 7:00 that night, a Friday. I showed up on time, not really sure of what to expect, and half scared to death. She was kind and sweet and very horny. She loves to give head and receive oral, including deep, dark kisses, if you know what I mean. Even though she was 68 years old and I was just 38, to this day, she was by far the best sex I ever had. All we did was oral and we were satisfied, very satisfied. I worshipped that woman. She had been a widow for 5 years and hadn't had any sex since about 4 years before her husband died. We spent the whole weekend together. Yes, Wal~Mart has some very nice toys. She was very expert in pointing this out to me. Needless to say, we never needed to use the condoms.
LOL, I will NEVER look at WalMart the same way again. Every time I see a carrot, I think of it as a good, cheap dildo. And depending on where you are and the time of year it is, you could buy 2 pounds of cheap dildos for as little as $1.49 in American money.
I love your sense of humor in writing this one. It was very well written.
Love it.
You know that trick with the champagne and kissing also works with another part of her anatomy, don't you ?
HP
now I try to believe the price at be competitive thank you Walmart.