All Comments on 'Massage School'

by One Wounded Dragon

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  • 15 Comments
BazzzBazzzalmost 17 years ago
Needs some work

You did a very good job transitioning from scene to scene keeping us informed as to whether you were daydreaming or into a real life situation. This proves you can write when you want too. Where you had a big problem was when the husband and wife conversed. You had them calling each other "luv", "lover", scmoopy, poopycakes, whatever, way too often. I find that the hardest thing for a writer on this site is to put together an interesting conversation between two people. We certainly knew that the husband and wife were close lovers from the get go. Consequently all the gooey talk was overkill. Get an editor and try and relax when you write conversations, especially when sex is happening. If you can start putting together coherent conversations you will be a much improved writer so keep writing so you can get there.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
we love it!,

when white brothers are so generous in lending there wifes --- more specifically, shall I say, beautiful, blonde blue eyed, slender (no, we don't fuck no big fat ungly non-blue eye hoes!) --- so we could release some of our inner city built-up frustration seminal fluids, so those beautiful blondes could be fertilized and help raise our seedlings!, with their little girlie pompom waving, cock sucking whitey husband's help and blessing, of course! LOL <p>

sex is the only way we could demolish the scheming little bastard white brothers --- we fuck the shit out of their wifes, sisters, mothers,,, make them pregnant with our black kids, to the cheering of the audience and the women we fuck litke bitch in heat, who throats are cancerously pasted with our cream! we love it! fuck any one who is jealous of our personal conquest of the bitches and hoes who are begging for our big ones on their knees! <p>

we is always sure there be a God, a loving, generous God somewhere and that he will reward us with the goods! well, folks, this is it: whether in Literotica land or in real life, we fuck the shit out of these countless willing, begging white bitches,,,, they can go back to their suburbs, to raise our black babies, and to whitey's BMW's but we know, they's always coming back for more of our lovin',,, when they is ready,,,, we may not speak good English, neither, but we fuck the shit out of them and they is lovin' it! <p>

win-win for all,,, including those pompom waving cock sucking whitey husbands who are alway video taping at the end of the bed, whether in their own marital beds or in some fancy motel they rent for those occasions!, of course, of that they can watch the footage later and masturbate... so, you see, dear readers,,, it's a win-win for all concerned: the whitey cock sucking, sharing husband; those beautiful blonde blue eyed women; and us, the bigger than average cocked black brothers. <p>

if you loser readers won't like it, we just laugh our asses off! you is just jealous because you fear --- deep down you fear --- that you're sisters, mothers, wifes, and girls are gonna abandone you, once they have our big dicks,,, hell, our dicks don't even have to be big,,,, they simply need to be the blackest graphite black and those bitches are down on their knees the first order to bark out! lol

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Read what you like...

I personally enjoy these kinds of stories... and they are just "stories." If I hated them, like some of the numerous comments here, I wouldn't even START reading it. I fully enjoyed this one, it was up there with the best of these kinds of stories. What I liked most about it was the subtlety... was she telling a story over the phone...? Was it "live..?" Dude, you did so well that I'm leaving a comment for the very first time, and I have been on Lit. for years. Nicely done, very nice indeed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Hon

Is there another word besides "Hon?"

EspressoBolusEspressoBolusover 15 years ago
funny

Apparently it is hubby who is incapable of saying no!

Very funny.

mariekethmariekethover 14 years ago
Perfect!

Loved your stories. Can't wait until the next Massage

School section

I would love to be I a similar situation myself only with only slightly altered to fit our, Genie and I(jari) situation.

One interesting point, I would not like Genie to get so involved personally. The phone talking and private conversations with her black lover would make her more and more likely to distance her from me and move her closer to her lover. I am absolutely Never interested in having my marriage break up.

Too, I'd be afraid the massage school away from home is a step too much. I want/need to be present always.

Everything else is the stuff of dreams!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
A Great Story

I loved your story. I have read it over and over again. A few days ago I got my wife read it while we were in bed and she got very very wet. I confessed to her that I wished she was the woman in the story, and she responded by giving me a long hot kiss. I really liked the idea of finding my wife pregnant with someone else's baby. Great story. Waiting for more of your stories. Maybe my wife and I could read your next story in bed again while she is carrying some other man's baby in her tummy!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
great story

That's a pretty good story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
wow

as a victim of a cheating wife....this story almost made me cry. I read these kind of stories looking a husband character who would react the same way i did. Most of the time i'm disappointed. I guess i just cant relate love and willingness to let my wife be fucked by someone else.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
1*

stupid cuck shit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago

Racist, poor bastard, you probably lost your woman to a white man..Does it make you feel good to have a fantasy of revenge...let me guess, your a small specimen of a black man who cant measure up and have fantasies of doing white women to make up for your misgivings.I'm prone to think your also bisexual in nature

Maybe all maybe not but you sure love demeaning white men as cuckolds in the headings of your stories..dont worry, your writing isnt good enough that I need to read another..have fun in your useless quest....and keep dreaming.....oh one more thing ...they do sell enhancers and extender drugs for men like you....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Shit Story

A shitty story with a bad end..... Cant people write something better

26thNC26thNCover 4 years ago
Beyond bad

So bad it's kind of funny. Seems to have been written by a fourteen year old idiot.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Just another from the pathetic collection right out of Cuck Town

These type of stories are beyond being stupid and ridiculous. How much of a loser and pervert must you be to share your wife. Even more idiotic and moronic is the fact a guy would get off having someone else make his wife pregnant. That is a special and sick type of perversion. If this is your life please stay in Cuck Town. I would take having Covid 19 than one minute in this horrible and disgusting life.

Buster2UBuster2Uover 2 years ago

This story was so Great it made my nuts ache for his wife. Wanting her so bad. I have shared all my women for the last 50 yrs. I have always wanted it to be like this story. It just usually doesn't work out this way. Usually the wife gets carried away behind my back. Lies and lies. This story really got me going wishing this was me. What a rush to have your wife black bred! Thanks for the thrills

Anonymous
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