All Comments on 'How To Open Your Relationship'

I agree 100%. I hope you tell us about your foursome in detail. Thanks for the great article. RealDoc

but I enjoyed reading your story!

you don't care enough to make that partner your only love or simply plan on using your other to find other better sex partners and they don't care enough about you either.<P>

Lets face it no one in their right mind would be serious about another who wasn't serious about them. Otherwise somebody is whoring the other and doesn't give a shit about them long term. To think romantically about such a fucking others arrangement has got rocks in their head and their hand on or in their sex.<P>

Get real writer what you propose is just plain selfish on one or each partner without any real or deep commitment to one another.

Just an excuse to fuck others because your partner can't get you up like others can.

Ever notice the most critical comments usually come from anonymous posters? There's probably a reason for that... nothing snide, mind you, but it's likely a symptom of their lack of communication skills. That, of course, has an effect on relationships and it unfortunately follows that a lack of communications skills means they're never going to be that secure in their relationship. They're on the outside looking in at people that can actually enjoy a little hedonism without sacrificing the love of their partner – and obviously, they're a little bitter about that. ... Nicely done, quiet. Keep up the good work.

Good take on it... felt it could have been longer and dealt with a few more issues, but what's here is good. Short and to the point. Good luck in the contest!

There are those who say that masturbating is bad and wrong, and sex toys mean that you're lover is inadequate.<br><br>

"Anonymous in USA" must be one of those types.<br><br>

Thanks for sharing your views and tips on this subject.

QBK:<p>Well written, and if I were considering such an endeavor, perhaps sage advice that I would consider. But I've always been a great believer that one can have variety with one's spouse without having to look elsewhere. Nothing, I mean nothing, beats being with the one you love. It's all in the mind.

I thought it could've been taken further, but what's there is clear and concise. Good luck in the contest.

For a dangerous unpredictable path with potential benefits to some, you provided a reasonable entry level guide. That is true if nothing too unpredictable happens, and if nobody gets really messed up as a result. The only problem, even with ground rules etc. you can’t really tell who’s going to go through this game undamaged. The open relations ‘game’ comes to some with no warning label, or with only very partial warning. You could be messing with powerful psychological stuff that you have no idea about. Then what will you do with all your ground rules?

The main thing that was missing was therefore a suggested strategy of screening for or for coping with the potential impact of the unintended; the unknown and therefore unplanned consequences. It might go beyond the scope of a How to in this site, but even acknowledging this limitations would have been a plus in my book. Now, roll your dice!

It's all well and good until someone loses an eye! I agree with Kolkore below. Dangerous. Playing with fire. But if that's your thing, I'd take this advice rather than go into it blind..

I agree with a lot of the comments here. Many people see this type of relationship as being risky and playing with fire. I have been burned a few times and it may just be luck or it may be that my ground rules have worked so far that my current relationship with my partner is as strong and fun as it is. As my first submission on Lit is such a risky topic I kept it short and sweet. I'm not an expert but I agree it could have been longer and dealt more thoroughly with more issues. I don't have all the right answers but I'd like to share my views and would be interested in writing a second followup article if you would email me with which scenarios you'd like seen dealt with specifically. It would definitely include how to screen for potential partners and how to deal with small things that go wrong like jealously and having regrets the next morning. But as far as "You could be messing with powerful psychological stuff that you have no idea about." I guess I could be messing with some stuff I shouldn't be but as stated before, you can't take every precaution. People don't wear helmets all the time because they are afraid of bricks falling from the sky and killing them. People have to take responsibility for their own actions. I and my partner have discussed this before and I won't take full responsibility for other people's choices when they enter such a scenario if I give them every chance to say they are uncomfortable with it, they should speak up or walk away if they don't want to take the risk of being hurt or challenging their own beliefs.

although nothing would be able to use now. Of course, open and honest communication is always necessary in any romantic or sexual relationship

I do feel you made a good attempt on a very complicated subject. However, I feel you could have done a bit more on it. In my opinion should have defined what you meant by open relationships since there people have different definitions. In my opinion, swinging does not always involve opening up the relationship but many will disagree with me on that. Second you mention the risks at the end and it should have come earlier. Third I feel you should have talked about the variations in open relationships such as: one person remaining monogamous, polyamory, cuckolding, and menage de trios. Fourth you do not discuss boundaries; however you talk around it by discussing communication and trust. Finally you do not discuss the topic of closing down the relationship if problems develop or one individual does not want to keep the relationship open.