All the characters in this story are disgusting, even your main character. So the story gets a Zero. Glad I read only this chapter, the rest would have been a waste of time to build up to this drivel.
by
Anonymous05/16/07
Great story DG!
What the hell do these people want. You give us everything and some of these readers don't have a clue. I'm a writer too and I know how rough it is to write a complex story like this.
Kudos to you.
I try writing stories on subjects I find interesting. The thoughts come into my mind and I write them. As I have said time and time again. Not all my stories are for everyone. I give you the best I have to give. If you find my stories are not for you,then please just hit the back button. For the rest of you, Thanks for reading my stories and commenting on them
Chapter 1-3 was submitted earlier today. It is all in one submission. Chapter 5-6 should be out tomorrow.
Thanks again
DG Hear
by
Anonymous05/16/07
good
so far so good, just goes to show you even DG cant please us all it seems.
waiting for the next chapters, thanks for taking the time to entertain us.
Mike from TEXAS
Sarah did not recognize Mark as Dana? Dana did not recognize Sarah? Long ago or not, I find it hard to believe Sarah would forget her rapist, especially when they saw one another frequently after the rape. Also, Dana would not forget Sarah's getting away with trashing his car, even if he could not recall her face, which is unlikely.
Aside from that, Sarah allowing another rape like this is hard to accept, but if that is her choice, so be it.
Hi DG Hear. Brad was her date that night at the party and it was his car that got trashed. He was a sophmore. Dana was a senior who came in and just took Sarah. She was half drunk at the time and it was the only time they had seen each other. Sorry if I confused you or any other readers. Thank you for commenting.
DG
I really think you have a super story DG Hear keep it coming.
Pat
Atlanta,Ga
by
Anonymous05/16/07
good story
I only caught this chapter but I really enjoyed it. She is definately better off without Mark. He's a user and is no good for her....loved the revenge bit...very nicely done.
So far Sarah has gone through two husband's, one of which reeked of selfishness, the second was a money grubbing, flash wealth, status seeking wimp who pimped out Sarah for a better job. Then we have the heroine who was raped while in college by Dana while her date, Brad, held her down. She can pick investments wisely but exersizes very poor judgement in picking husbands. When she finds her rapist she shoots him in the thigh, forces him into the trunk of his car and then beats him with a tire iron, leaving him in a locked trunk while abandoning the vehicle so that Dana can bleed to death if she hasn't already killed him with the tire iron.*****While the story is interesting and well written I am wondering who I should root for. Other than Vera there hasn't been a nice person in this story. Sarah certainly has given up whatever moral high ground she had been on. I'm somewhat anxious to read the next chapter just to see how dark a picture the author is going to paint.
by
Anonymous05/17/07
You are, obviously, kidding me, right?
DG Hear, this is a freakin' stupid story about a dumber than dumber woman, who is being fucked from ONE MAN TO ANOTHER, to another, to another, since HIGH SCHOOL!
And the stupid bitch blames those fuckin' retards she fucks with, or let herself be fucked by? You, dear writer, must be masochistic to conjur up lame, dumb, and stupid characters like these.
Ray and Mark had an agreement:
Mark: I fuck her ONCE and you get your position; I don't get to fuck her, you don't get your promotion. You understand, my friend?
Ray: tears rushing down his cheecks, PER SARAH, like the Mississippi. "I'm so sorry, my beloved. Could you do it just once? I know you don't have to, but my friend/boss here, Mark, said IF you just fuck him once, I have my promotion and we'd be set! Just once, Sarah... But, of course, it is up to you!"
Sarah: "Well, I'm not sure,,, but, okay, Mark,,, come up stairs, let's get it over with. You PROMISE it is just this one time, right? No games, no blackmailing, right?"
Mark: "Of course, cross my heart and hope to die if I lie to you or Ray. Why would I do that? I have no reason to; I have fucked HUNDREDS of other women and I never stick around to blackmail them. Who do you think I am?"
Ray and Sarah, smiling to each other, nodding, "Okay, I guess, then.... Remember, Ray, I am doing this FOR YOU, just this one so you get your DESERVED PROMOTION, okay? I don't love Mark or any hting, OKAY, honey bear sweetheart cream pie lover?"
The next thing: Ray's gone to Atlanta; got his promotion "And Mark was NOT even there, Sarah, I am tellin' you the truth; I got it all by myself, my hard work! When I return, I promise I'll make it up to you, okay, honey bear, beloved Sarah?"
The next scene, Sarah was with a gun, shooting into the air, scaring the shit out of bad man Mark. "Get in the fuckin' trunk/car or I be blowin' your fuckin' brains out, stupid! You don't think I KNOW WHO YOU WAS in college? I do, you raped me, remember?"
Dear author, do YOU see how STUPID, utterly stupid, these scenes are????????????????? Helllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Any thing "up there" in the head, dear author? Surely fictional characters CAN NOT BE STUPID,,, it must be something else! LOL
Great story! Never mind all the BS below. I've read both submissions in the past hour, and was thoroughly entertained by it all. That's all that counts. Thanks... Harry
by
Anonymous05/17/07
If HarveyDicksuckers like it You know CRAP
I mean have you ever read the shit that Moron puts out?
wow this is one perposterous Silly and contrived story...
This story is almost as bad as Vatiesmith latest piece of shit.
This woman was raped in college then married the world's biggest asshole.... then decides not to discuss something as trivial as children (hell what married people discuss THAT!?) ..... THEN
... over hears her husband to be discussing Her RAPE with a Business associate.
At which point she says to the husband to be "what the fuck is wrong with you? I am so outa here"
Nope she says GREAT... and amazingly she is
"surprised" when she finds out she was drugged.
Look maybe its me. I just have no sympathey for people this brain deadly fucking stupid. I dont have it for the husband in Vatiusmith latest turd of story and I dont have it for Sarah. I hope this stupid cow is convicted of attempted murder of Dana/ mark guy ....if for no other reason so that she gets too old to have children when she gets out of Jail ... I fear that this moron Sarah will raise her offpsring to be as amazingly stupid as she is.
Well, that was different all right. Nothing like a light-hearted romp through rape and murder to get me in the mood. I think I'll pass on the remaining chapters. If I want stories about violent criminals, I can pick up the local paper and get all I want.
This story is so different from your normal that it is confusing your readers. It is still a well crafted story with a good plot and insight. I think the subject matter is what offends so many. I'm going to finish it because it's good even though it is a bit dark for my tastes. Keep up the good work DG.
by
Anonymous05/17/07
She could have said no
I was liking this story fine until this chapter. Then our heroine went brain dead - it's the fastest way to loose me in a story - a stupid character. When her fiance propositioned her to fuck his future boss, she could have clearly said no. That's what a reasonable human being would have done - said no. Fucking Mark was going to have consequences. For starters, after Brad took the job, Mark as his boss or co-worker, would have remained in the picture. She would have seen him again, so how the hell was she going to get over it? And that's not counting the resentment and lack of respect she would feel against her fiance nor the possible trauma of being coerced into sex, especially since she'd gone through a previous rape. And this is the one that blows all credibility out of the story: Mark was her rapist...one that she didn't recognize until the next day. Then she gets pissed off! She needs to get pissed off at herself because SHE CONSENTED! So what does she do now? She snaps! She becomes a violent psychopath who shoots and beats the heck out of him with a tire iron (not sure if he's dead, but if he wasn't by the time they find him, he will be) THEN COLDLY, CALCULATES HER NEXT MOVES - if I don't remember wrong that's called premedition (The wig, using his credit cards, etc.)and any third rate detective will know that this is no victim, but a murderer who had the motivation and premedition to kill this man in cold blood.
Until this chapter I had enjoyed the story, but now I have no heroine to cheer fo. She's no heroine, she's a psychopath who deserves jail or a mental institution for the rest of her life. And heaven forbid that she gets married or pregnant. No matter how the author tries to justify the action or redeem this character, in the real world someone like this will surely kill again. Besides, she's too stupid to breed...
So I will stop reading here because I do know DG's style, and though I like most of his stories, it will piss me off when he gives this character a happily ever after. She's a murderer, send her to jail.
Thanks DG for your prose, but it is not my style of story with the unbelievable not talking about kids in the first submission. Now the easy murder and the man who says he loves her going along with this travesty and rape. I will read your last submission and comment further then. You warned us it was different and you are right.PT
It may not be what most people would do but this isn't about most people.. I'm kinda hoping she didn't kill him and yet, if she didn't she will wind up in prison and if she did she may wind up there.. Not that he didn't deserve it, I'm sure.. He's pulled it before, he said.. The situation between her and Ray is quite tenuous.. I guess it could go either way.. I'm not even sure which way I'd like to see it go.. I'm guessing she'll opt for a completely new start; maybe in Canada.
No job is worth what he did. Along with his immaturity and irresponsibility I'd have to say he's a loser.
Hey, tell her about this guy Jake Rivers - he really knows how to treat a girl!
I'm okay with her killing him ... there are just some things our legal system doesn't handle well, and one of them is justice.
Yes, he was wrong to ask, but she could have said no.
by
Anonymous08/07/14
Boy is she a dummy
For a woman that's supposedly smart she turns out to be dumber that a stump. Given her life history I can't see her moving in with him. Money and independence are too important to her to become seriously involved with a man that's careless with money. That part made absolutely no sense. And when she KNEW the drink was spiked, why did she even take a sip? Her answer would have been NO to Mark's advances. She's a real pill but it seemed like you had her act completely opposite to the personality you established for her. I didn't like this at all.
Who interviews with "the Board" to become Mktg VP in the Cleveland office? Did she kill Dana? She had no trouble flying with his ticket and her changed appearance? I have enough time invested in this that I'll finish it.
English
Sorry
All the characters in this story are disgusting, even your main character. So the story gets a Zero. Glad I read only this chapter, the rest would have been a waste of time to build up to this drivel.
Great story DG!
What the hell do these people want. You give us everything and some of these readers don't have a clue. I'm a writer too and I know how rough it is to write a complex story like this.
Kudos to you.
Hi I'm DG Hear
I try writing stories on subjects I find interesting. The thoughts come into my mind and I write them. As I have said time and time again. Not all my stories are for everyone. I give you the best I have to give. If you find my stories are not for you,then please just hit the back button. For the rest of you, Thanks for reading my stories and commenting on them
Chapter 1-3 was submitted earlier today. It is all in one submission. Chapter 5-6 should be out tomorrow.
Thanks again
DG Hear
good
so far so good, just goes to show you even DG cant please us all it seems.
waiting for the next chapters, thanks for taking the time to entertain us.
Mike from TEXAS
Good story, except.....
Sarah did not recognize Mark as Dana? Dana did not recognize Sarah? Long ago or not, I find it hard to believe Sarah would forget her rapist, especially when they saw one another frequently after the rape. Also, Dana would not forget Sarah's getting away with trashing his car, even if he could not recall her face, which is unlikely.
Aside from that, Sarah allowing another rape like this is hard to accept, but if that is her choice, so be it.
To last commenter!
Hi DG Hear. Brad was her date that night at the party and it was his car that got trashed. He was a sophmore. Dana was a senior who came in and just took Sarah. She was half drunk at the time and it was the only time they had seen each other. Sorry if I confused you or any other readers. Thank you for commenting.
DG
Excellent story
I really think you have a super story DG Hear keep it coming.
Pat
Atlanta,Ga
good story
I only caught this chapter but I really enjoyed it. She is definately better off without Mark. He's a user and is no good for her....loved the revenge bit...very nicely done.
Wow
So far Sarah has gone through two husband's, one of which reeked of selfishness, the second was a money grubbing, flash wealth, status seeking wimp who pimped out Sarah for a better job. Then we have the heroine who was raped while in college by Dana while her date, Brad, held her down. She can pick investments wisely but exersizes very poor judgement in picking husbands. When she finds her rapist she shoots him in the thigh, forces him into the trunk of his car and then beats him with a tire iron, leaving him in a locked trunk while abandoning the vehicle so that Dana can bleed to death if she hasn't already killed him with the tire iron.*****While the story is interesting and well written I am wondering who I should root for. Other than Vera there hasn't been a nice person in this story. Sarah certainly has given up whatever moral high ground she had been on. I'm somewhat anxious to read the next chapter just to see how dark a picture the author is going to paint.
You are, obviously, kidding me, right?
DG Hear, this is a freakin' stupid story about a dumber than dumber woman, who is being fucked from ONE MAN TO ANOTHER, to another, to another, since HIGH SCHOOL!
And the stupid bitch blames those fuckin' retards she fucks with, or let herself be fucked by? You, dear writer, must be masochistic to conjur up lame, dumb, and stupid characters like these.
Ray and Mark had an agreement:
Mark: I fuck her ONCE and you get your position; I don't get to fuck her, you don't get your promotion. You understand, my friend?
Ray: tears rushing down his cheecks, PER SARAH, like the Mississippi. "I'm so sorry, my beloved. Could you do it just once? I know you don't have to, but my friend/boss here, Mark, said IF you just fuck him once, I have my promotion and we'd be set! Just once, Sarah... But, of course, it is up to you!"
Sarah: "Well, I'm not sure,,, but, okay, Mark,,, come up stairs, let's get it over with. You PROMISE it is just this one time, right? No games, no blackmailing, right?"
Mark: "Of course, cross my heart and hope to die if I lie to you or Ray. Why would I do that? I have no reason to; I have fucked HUNDREDS of other women and I never stick around to blackmail them. Who do you think I am?"
Ray and Sarah, smiling to each other, nodding, "Okay, I guess, then.... Remember, Ray, I am doing this FOR YOU, just this one so you get your DESERVED PROMOTION, okay? I don't love Mark or any hting, OKAY, honey bear sweetheart cream pie lover?"
The next thing: Ray's gone to Atlanta; got his promotion "And Mark was NOT even there, Sarah, I am tellin' you the truth; I got it all by myself, my hard work! When I return, I promise I'll make it up to you, okay, honey bear, beloved Sarah?"
The next scene, Sarah was with a gun, shooting into the air, scaring the shit out of bad man Mark. "Get in the fuckin' trunk/car or I be blowin' your fuckin' brains out, stupid! You don't think I KNOW WHO YOU WAS in college? I do, you raped me, remember?"
Dear author, do YOU see how STUPID, utterly stupid, these scenes are????????????????? Helllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Any thing "up there" in the head, dear author? Surely fictional characters CAN NOT BE STUPID,,, it must be something else! LOL
Good entertainment
Great story! Never mind all the BS below. I've read both submissions in the past hour, and was thoroughly entertained by it all. That's all that counts. Thanks... Harry
If HarveyDicksuckers like it You know CRAP
I mean have you ever read the shit that Moron puts out?
this story really sucks DG....
Let me see If I have this right
wow this is one perposterous Silly and contrived story...
This story is almost as bad as Vatiesmith latest piece of shit.
This woman was raped in college then married the world's biggest asshole.... then decides not to discuss something as trivial as children (hell what married people discuss THAT!?) ..... THEN
... over hears her husband to be discussing Her RAPE with a Business associate.
At which point she says to the husband to be "what the fuck is wrong with you? I am so outa here"
Nope she says GREAT... and amazingly she is
"surprised" when she finds out she was drugged.
Look maybe its me. I just have no sympathey for people this brain deadly fucking stupid. I dont have it for the husband in Vatiusmith latest turd of story and I dont have it for Sarah. I hope this stupid cow is convicted of attempted murder of Dana/ mark guy ....if for no other reason so that she gets too old to have children when she gets out of Jail ... I fear that this moron Sarah will raise her offpsring to be as amazingly stupid as she is.
Not my cup of tea
Well, that was different all right. Nothing like a light-hearted romp through rape and murder to get me in the mood. I think I'll pass on the remaining chapters. If I want stories about violent criminals, I can pick up the local paper and get all I want.
Very different!
This story is so different from your normal that it is confusing your readers. It is still a well crafted story with a good plot and insight. I think the subject matter is what offends so many. I'm going to finish it because it's good even though it is a bit dark for my tastes. Keep up the good work DG.
She could have said no
I was liking this story fine until this chapter. Then our heroine went brain dead - it's the fastest way to loose me in a story - a stupid character. When her fiance propositioned her to fuck his future boss, she could have clearly said no. That's what a reasonable human being would have done - said no. Fucking Mark was going to have consequences. For starters, after Brad took the job, Mark as his boss or co-worker, would have remained in the picture. She would have seen him again, so how the hell was she going to get over it? And that's not counting the resentment and lack of respect she would feel against her fiance nor the possible trauma of being coerced into sex, especially since she'd gone through a previous rape. And this is the one that blows all credibility out of the story: Mark was her rapist...one that she didn't recognize until the next day. Then she gets pissed off! She needs to get pissed off at herself because SHE CONSENTED! So what does she do now? She snaps! She becomes a violent psychopath who shoots and beats the heck out of him with a tire iron (not sure if he's dead, but if he wasn't by the time they find him, he will be) THEN COLDLY, CALCULATES HER NEXT MOVES - if I don't remember wrong that's called premedition (The wig, using his credit cards, etc.)and any third rate detective will know that this is no victim, but a murderer who had the motivation and premedition to kill this man in cold blood.
Until this chapter I had enjoyed the story, but now I have no heroine to cheer fo. She's no heroine, she's a psychopath who deserves jail or a mental institution for the rest of her life. And heaven forbid that she gets married or pregnant. No matter how the author tries to justify the action or redeem this character, in the real world someone like this will surely kill again. Besides, she's too stupid to breed...
So I will stop reading here because I do know DG's style, and though I like most of his stories, it will piss me off when he gives this character a happily ever after. She's a murderer, send her to jail.
Chapter two is raw but well written
Thanks DG for your prose, but it is not my style of story with the unbelievable not talking about kids in the first submission. Now the easy murder and the man who says he loves her going along with this travesty and rape. I will read your last submission and comment further then. You warned us it was different and you are right.PT
It's a good story
It may not be what most people would do but this isn't about most people.. I'm kinda hoping she didn't kill him and yet, if she didn't she will wind up in prison and if she did she may wind up there.. Not that he didn't deserve it, I'm sure.. He's pulled it before, he said.. The situation between her and Ray is quite tenuous.. I guess it could go either way.. I'm not even sure which way I'd like to see it go.. I'm guessing she'll opt for a completely new start; maybe in Canada.
I can't see he reconciling with Ray.
No job is worth what he did. Along with his immaturity and irresponsibility I'd have to say he's a loser.
Hey, tell her about this guy Jake Rivers - he really knows how to treat a girl!
I'm okay with her killing him ... there are just some things our legal system doesn't handle well, and one of them is justice.
Regards, Jack
Enjoyed it
A very odd turn of events. Well developed tale.
Nicely done
She did well for a spur of the moment run -
What He Did To Her?
Yes, he was wrong to ask, but she could have said no.
Boy is she a dummy
For a woman that's supposedly smart she turns out to be dumber that a stump. Given her life history I can't see her moving in with him. Money and independence are too important to her to become seriously involved with a man that's careless with money. That part made absolutely no sense. And when she KNEW the drink was spiked, why did she even take a sip? Her answer would have been NO to Mark's advances. She's a real pill but it seemed like you had her act completely opposite to the personality you established for her. I didn't like this at all.
Too much silliness.
Who interviews with "the Board" to become Mktg VP in the Cleveland office? Did she kill Dana? She had no trouble flying with his ticket and her changed appearance? I have enough time invested in this that I'll finish it.
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