All Comments  for

Paul's Baby

byscouries©
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Comments (105)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/16/07

different,but good

when you got it as a writer its' hard to go wrong.i just wish you write more.

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by Anonymous05/16/07

What a waste of time!

This story is nothing more than a couple of bitches who's only concerns in the world are their own gratification. Who now plot to have the husband fit the bill as "Daddy" to not one but two bastard kids. There isn't one redeeming value in any of these characters. What a waste of time to write as well as read.

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by Anonymous05/16/07

When you got it as a writer?

What, did you have your friend write you a comment? Maybe you did it yourself. Wasn't particularly well written and the subject matter was disgusting. Once again, no justice in the world and indiscretions all right because she "enjoys" it. In what universe is cheating all right? Bad enough to cuckold her husband, but to let him raise her bastard child? Let's hope someone has the stones to write a decent ending to thus story, I don't think we can count on the author to do it.

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by Anonymous05/16/07

Don't hate her?

Just a couple of cheating conniving whores. Don't hate them? They're "normal"? you are one sick fuck, I hope one day your wife does the same to you!

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by Anonymous05/16/07

you're right

I didn't like her. She thought only of herself and not her family. I would like to know, how she would feel if her husband had a girlfriend and a child on the side. Would she be understanding? Would she feel betrayed? My guess is that she would be angry and vengeful at the deception her husband perpetrated. Of course, I could be wrong. But not likely. As far as the writing is concerned, it was great. The characters were well written and consistent throughout the story. Great Work.

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by Anonymous05/16/07

What Can I Say?

I thought this "story" sucked. The "writer" tried to ward off criticism with his lead in to the text, but he apparently failed miserably. Never fear, "writer," the comment Nazis will be here soon to chastise the rest of us for making unfavorable remarks. Then you'll feel better. You won't learn anything useful, but you'll feel better.

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by louguy3505/16/07

Oh, Well!!

As I have stated before, there are good wirters in the Loving Wives genre, and there are not so good writers. The story is the only way to judge. This is a bad story.

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by jack_straw05/16/07

Sorry, but I liked it

Call me a fool, but I liked this story a lot. It was well-written, well-paced, the plot moved along nicely and the sex was very, very hot and remarkably descriptive. There was also an irreverence, a thick slab of humor that really gave it some spice. So what if the two main characters have no morals or that the male lead is nothing but a "beeeeg" dick with a body attached. So what if the poor husband is a dumb schmuck without a clue. This ain't a bible story, it's a sex story, and a damn good one.

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by Kanga4005/16/07

If it was a good sex story

it may have been bearable.
Maybe thinking this story has good sex is a 'man thing', 'cause it sure did nothing for me.
The one redeeming feature it could have had, it didn't.

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by Anonymous05/17/07

Of What It Could Have Been

Wasted talent for the few into bastard babies and loving husband humiliating - that it was well written is correct Jack but cmon, ability is but part of what constitutes a good story.

Alienating the 99% with coy disgusting characters who prey on a caring husband won't sell many books but then it wasn't intended was it writer. You wrote this to humiliate the committed male as though he was just fodder for her and you. Is this your normal fare? An island that doesn't feel.

Disgustingly subhuman without value particularly for what it should have been given the talent wasted.

Just a sick mind with 1 hand busy.

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by Softly05/17/07

The LW Nazis attack again

Hi,
Your story was very well writen. Getting pregnant the way that she did is common, but little understood. Over thirty percent of births of married women are from men who are not the husband.

The baby will bring joy to the marrage, make no mistake about that.

As for the comments, remember that you may delete them, as they deserve
Softly

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by Anonymous05/17/07

Great story

I will have to check out some of your other work. Keep up the good work.

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by JDLYTLE105/17/07

great work again...

This was another reason I keep checking for new work by you. Thanks for writing.

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by Anonymous05/17/07

Hot

Good fantsey, liked the sex and the lack of reality, just good erotic fantsey. Thanks

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by Anonymous05/17/07

Very Nice

Hot and sexy. Infedelity is looked down upon but is more common than most people would like to accept. Story was short but characters were nicely developed. Anyways the sex was really hot so five stars from me!

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by thebullet05/17/07

uncomfortable

I'm not one to criticize a story's moral structure for the most part. I usually leave that to others while I stick to the quality of the writing. Most LW stories I leave alone since they don't appeal to my purient interest, and why else should we be reading this site?

Still, I was uncomfortable with this story because of its complete lack of moral rectitude. Why in the world is this woman married to her husband other than for a free meal ticket? That totally baffles me. Usually I don't care about such things within the framework of the story. But in this case the story screamed for some rationalization about why the husband and wife were together.

And Softely, I would appreciate a pointer to your statistics that over 30% of children born within marriages are to males not the father. I could find no such statistics anywhere. I did find a statistic that in 65% of the births by married women to men not the husband, the married women were living with the actual father rather than the husband. But that data gave no indication of the actual number of illegitimate births to married women.

I personally find your number to be highly unlikely. Was it Disraeli who said: "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics." I think someone else said, "98% of all statistics are made up". I think friend Softley's fall within that category.

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by Anonymous05/17/07

Difficult Read

I had trouble reading this. It seemed to be all over the place . But most of all, the two women characters as well as the stud character were just pieces of crap. How anyone could see anything redeeming about this story amazes me.

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by Alvaron5305/17/07

The category might be Loving Wives but these...

women are anything but.

The story does seem to wander about somewhat. As a general rule, authors should avoid flashback, and that's true here because it added nothing to the storytelling. I had to smile at the author's suggestion that Lizzie's behavior is "normal". I'm not sure that I agree that a wife having the child of someone other than her husband is normal even though scouries might wish it were so. Other than surrogate parenting, I think most people would agree that a wife bearing another man's child isn't exactly "normal". Insofar as Lizzie's polygamous thoughts at the end, that's definitely not the norm in American culture. Various forms of plural marriages certainly exist today but they are not mainstream. I have to conclude that Lizzie isn't quite "normal". Is she believable as a character? Sure.

I agree with thebullet w.r.t. the integrity and morality of the two women. The idea of a plural marriage isn't disturbing as I believe such relationships can work but no arrangement of husbands and wives will ever work with the attitude that these two females have. They're greedy, self-centered users who consider Johnnie nothing more than a paycheck and a convenient fuck. That's not love nor caring in any decent sense of the words. Johnnie might appreciate another piece of poontang to nail but who'd want another wife if she were like Cathy?

I do have wonder what will happen when Johnnie finally figures out that his "daughter" isn't his. Research by psychologists shows that most males want little or nothing to do with offspring that aren't theirs biologically, despite what our Loving Wives authors would have us believe. In all probability, Johnnie will discover the truth, and I'll lay odds he's not gonna be to thrilled with that discovery. I wouldn't be surprised if he filed for divorce.

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by Anonymous05/17/07

You create a character that is

totally contemptable and tells us not to hate her? There are good sex stories with wives enjoying sex outside of their marriage. This isn't one of those. This wife appears to hate her husband, so that eliminates a loving wife story.

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by KOLKORE05/17/07

Like poison mushrooms

Just like Anon predicted (“What can I say?”), the spiritual brethren of thought police of all times have appeared –predictable just like poison mushrooms after the rain. The only label they use has been copied, and now it has been corrupted out of its original context (beware people of using inflammatory language, even if well intended) by intolerant ignoramus who try to scare away any descent. Since the label is: A. getting boring and B: loosing its impact due to over use; why won’t you try (that is if you must impress us with name calling) some fresh names from the history of intolerance? HUH? Too difficult? I figured as much. Ok, go back to your Nazis; I can feel the few cells of your brain getting overheated already.
Regarding the story, I think I figured why I disliked it so much – I like women and like the institution of marriage. I can’ stand it when a story depicts deplorable behaviors of women with no effort to put any background or to make them sound credible (I refuse to accept the author’s implied premise that women are deplorable). The same applies to the behaviors presented in the marriage – I refuse to accept the author‘s premise that for no reason what so ever you get married, than you go ahead and destroy your marriage. Worst of all it’s not sexy, just lazy writing. .

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by Anonymous05/17/07

I'm sorry

I'm sorry, author. I didn't find anything likable in this story. Worse, it is an erotic site and I didn't even find it sensual. The story is contrived and the characters pure cardboard. Just like the statistics, the plot is unrealistic, but the author tries to fit the subject matter and behavior into the plot. It was a no sale, good luck!

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by Scribbled05/17/07

Kudos to a genius

Your story had exactly the effect on your readers you intended. The mark of a great writer. You should be published. I can see a Pulitzer Prize in your future.

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by Anonymous05/17/07

hmm

so much hate. you write very well. too bad you use in a mocking way.

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by gatorhermit05/17/07

Sorry, this dawg don't hunt

Yuck. Hard to follow and no redeeming value in any of these characters. If I'd time I'd write the reverse - hubby impregnates two women behind faithful loving hard-working wife's back and continues to play with no conscience at all, with the long-term plan to re-impregnate woman #1.

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by Anonymous05/18/07

Poor content, poor writing.

Your story was not particularly interesting because it was not believeable. No guilt, no concern, nothing. Your characters are sociopaths. Your writing was not particularly clear or readable. Nice try, but it really didn't work.

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by Anonymous05/18/07

Nope

I gave it a 25 because it had some technical merit. That was its only good point.

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by Anonymous05/18/07

How can you hate pure trash?

The woman is trash, pure and simple trash. Not worth writing about, not worth considering. You ask us not to hate her, how do you hate trash. The bad thing here is what she did to her husband, to a boy, and to a bastard not yet born. No we wont hate her, we will only wish she had never been born and the world would be a little bit better.

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by peggytwitty05/18/07

Should be a comedy but missed the mark

But she's just a normal woman. Not horrible or evil. Just trying to live her life. Struggling to be happy. So please don't judge her too hard. It's not her fault she likes it ... This woman is not anywhere near normal unless someone lives in the world of porn magazines. What a laugh for a preamble to a story.Your imagination had some humor in it but not enough to be a humorous story throughout. Now a comment by Softly was a real hoot as her comment, “Over thirty percent of births of married women are from men who are not the husband”, is so ridicules she must use porn magazines and a really authoritative web site for her statistics. Wow, if you have three kids one isn’t yours by these statistics. People are such suckers to believe such undocumented statistics as statistics are only good for trying to guess at probabilities we might face.This was fairly well written but so overboard with idiousy that it was fun to see some people say “Yeah you got real life right”.As a sex story I guess some will be happy to wank-off with this, but for me I find it somewhat funny but not a real good laugh was had, as stupid can only go so far.PT

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by Anonymous05/20/07

Flat, laughably unrealistic; but with possibility.

Erotica necessarily involves elements of fantasy, and all fiction requires some suspension of disbelief. But your story, like so many stories in this category, is simply too unrealistic for the suspension of disbelief to occur. I think your story, as with so many here, is simply driven by your own insecurities, rather than by an accurate, interesting, or arousing view of women and sex. As a result, your main character is at once emotionally numb AND with a deep underlying hatred---and yet she's overtaken completely by a man with a big dick. This is simply your fear of rejection personified: an uncaring woman who hates you, who is taken away by a physically superior male. My advice: take some time to seriously question your beliefs about women and sex, and then try the story again from the beginning, but this time let the main character actually drive the events. You have enough details to draw out the psychology of the character---a traveling husband, resentment of him, desire for a more complete family---and her malicious friends provide a huge range of plot possibilities. But you don't use the material you've put on the table. Of course, if you find writing this kind of story somehow cathartic, and if the readers do... then go with it. Just realize, ultimately, that it's actually quite silly.

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by Anonymous05/21/07

Lacked a little sizzle

Not bad and I like the premise. The story could have used a little more sizzle, the sex should have been more exciting than what it was. I am not sure why.

I get such a kick out of the "moral sex" police visiting an erotic story website. The irony inherent in that is just too much!!

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by Anonymous05/21/07

Not just a mans world any more.GREAT STORY

Well i'm not a writer just a reader,and i like every bit of it,and would like to read more.Its a great story i hope you keep writing and i'll keep reading.Great job

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by Gary_Lost05/21/07

Another wimp/fool of a husband

Not worth making a comment over.

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by Anonymous06/29/07

Problem with the ending

I really liked this story but had a big issue with the ending. It was cheesy. The rest of the story was hot though.

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by atl4409/18/07

Wonderful!

I've been catching up on all of the entrys by scouries and this one was great! Maybe not as graphic as his others but still better written than some and personally I liked the story! Well done!

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by Anonymous12/07/07

Morals of an alley cat

What a load of sluts added to a morally corrupt teenager with more dick than brains , I hope they all catch something nasty and leave the gene pool.

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by Anonymous12/24/07

What happened?

You started off like you were going to do it, but then you became more technical (like a narration of what was going on). It needed to have more feeling. More of what she was going through, as she felt the pain and pleasure of his cock as it tortured her cunt like it had never been before.
The ending could have been a little more touching, but it did leave an opening to continue.
Your writings have great scenarios, but they just need more feeling. jim

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by Anonymous02/21/08

either gender

the behavior is not flattering in m/w, and thoughts of using john come so easy, and paul/whomever else. that is a comment unto themselves. at the time of confrontation, the words, but i love only you or such sincere thoughts will no doubt flow from her

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by don8765407/31/08

Polygamy, almost....

An ideal set up. Paul moves in as does Cathy and Johnnie is supporting all, not knowing the difference but liking the babies.....Great fantasy!

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by don8765410/05/08

Almost Polygamy

A very erotic situation. I envy Paul, being a natural daddy and fuck mate to these two women and their babies. It just goes to show that Mormons are not the only polygamous couples if things are handled the right way.

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by Anonymous02/15/09

SKANK

Two skank whore sluts--johnnie is one big DUMB ASS--He should catch the stud Paul and cut his balls and cock off--then get rid of his slut wife..---BE NICE --BULL SHIT--put her ass on the street with her bastard children.

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by Anonymous04/18/09

....AHH TO BE YOUNG AGAIN.....

.......Paul had the nack of things...enjoyable reading...lottsa truth in what you have written...

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by Anonymous08/09/09

waste of good talent

Well, you wanted a vote, so here it it! Total piece of crap; & why this ever got into Loving Wives is beyond me. She is a sleazy slut & that's her best quality, to put a cuckoo into her husband's home. Her character was portrayed is despicable, so she is definitively not a loving wife.

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by don8765408/13/09

Paul got it made...

I'm a little envious of Paul....

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by Anonymous09/20/09

what a slut

to bad the husband didn't catch them and kick her sorry ass out the door with nothing. while suing the lover for medical expenses/child support. not only is she cheating but she's denying him kids to have her lovers? what the fuck is that. sorry man, i like most of your stories but i just can't get in to this one.

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by Anonymous03/10/10

My vote for this story: 1. That is all it deservesa. Lizzie was nothing but a whore and amoral. Nothing loving about this slut. She lacks morals and she cannot even spell marital fedility. Makes me sick that the author 'celebrated' this piece of trash. Total disrespect for her husband and to add to her sordid life she brings an innocent into this world.

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by Anonymous03/10/10

My vote for this story: 1. That is all it deserves. Lizzie was nothing but a whore and amoral. Nothing loving about this slut. She lacks morals and she cannot even spell marital fedility. Makes me sick that the author 'celebrated' this piece of trash. Total disrespect for her husband and to add to her sordid life she brings an innocent into this world.

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by Anonymous04/06/10

its a wounderful thing, but

the wrong guy? If her husband was to used as parent/meal ticket/etc - then she needs to get caught and have it all, away from john, as she may. Deferred consequences, I would hope. AT least let john have the possibility of finding the same she found, since its not her.

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by Anonymous04/15/10

I liked it

Actually, I thought this story was well-written and Lizzie's fall for the big-dicked guy certainly is understandable. When a woman fears that she cannot conceive, that she is growing older and may soon lose her looks and figure, a vibrant, handsome young man looks mighty good. It was clear from the story that the conception problem was with her husband so, if she really wanted to conceive, it was reasonable for her to be tempted to stray. The big cock on Paul was surely an added benefit and enhanced her "enslavement" to him. My own experience is that a big cock can overcome many reservations and scruples almost every time. Good story. Keep up the good work

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by vietvet06/02/10

A cheatin slut

is a cheatin slut. FRY THEM ALL>

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by Anonymous07/06/10

Another

stupid story.

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