Very hot, believable....would have loved to have been her myself! Mmmmmm....
by
Anonymous05/18/07
Not well written
Story was ok but the grammatical errors took me out of the moment. Get an editor. Also, how is her fucking her fathers friends getting revenge?
by
Anonymous05/18/07
Hot and well written
Hot story... much better than most... it would make a great series as she goes through all the guys one at a time... thanks for sharing...
by
Anonymous05/18/07
hot but....
great sex storyline... however, more build up and more hesitation from the father's friend would have added more fuel to the fire... if he was more hesitant about his actions at first, knowing he is betraying his friend, then we could see the build up of the revenge...
Good stroke scene but awful storytelling. She's gonna get revenge on dear old Dad by screwing a friend of his? How does this work again? Last time I checked, twenty was well past the age of consent so as near as I can tell, that makes Miss Amber responsible for her actions despite her childish attitude with respect to Granddad's money.
by
Anonymous11/22/08
Hot story...
Can't wait to read more about Amber's adventures with the other guys! Great read!
How does she get back at Daddy by fucking a co-worker?
You started the story about the young woman not getting her inheritance in which her dad controlled her money for another 5 years, Then moved into her seducing a co-worker.
Where is the connection? How does bedding or breeding impact on her father? There is no mention if she is on a birth control pill. I don't get the connection?
English
Well written....
Very hot, believable....would have loved to have been her myself! Mmmmmm....
Not well written
Story was ok but the grammatical errors took me out of the moment. Get an editor. Also, how is her fucking her fathers friends getting revenge?
Hot and well written
Hot story... much better than most... it would make a great series as she goes through all the guys one at a time... thanks for sharing...
hot but....
great sex storyline... however, more build up and more hesitation from the father's friend would have added more fuel to the fire... if he was more hesitant about his actions at first, knowing he is betraying his friend, then we could see the build up of the revenge...
Fantasy yes, good fiction no
Good stroke scene but awful storytelling. She's gonna get revenge on dear old Dad by screwing a friend of his? How does this work again? Last time I checked, twenty was well past the age of consent so as near as I can tell, that makes Miss Amber responsible for her actions despite her childish attitude with respect to Granddad's money.
Hot story...
Can't wait to read more about Amber's adventures with the other guys! Great read!
How does she get back at Daddy by fucking a co-worker?
You started the story about the young woman not getting her inheritance in which her dad controlled her money for another 5 years, Then moved into her seducing a co-worker.
Where is the connection? How does bedding or breeding impact on her father? There is no mention if she is on a birth control pill. I don't get the connection?
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