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English
Good wrap up and good length!
Obviously you listen to your readers at least me anyway. I like the way you folded some of my suggestions in the final chapter. The little tart Marcy got what she deserved and her husband didn't take it out on anyone else. I know that others may be critical of the story again but they need to learn that it is all fiction. I also agree with your comment about Loving Wives stories seem to have the most critics. Keep writing in the other categories I enjoy all your stories.
Good story
Some people might call him a wimp, but what's the point in killing someone? It's over too fast, this was a much better punishment, one that would last a good long time. As for Bernard? I liked how he was a sweet husband but when a line was crossed, he went for the jugular. Great work and ignore the wimps who say you shoulda killed her off.
Rose to its promise.
Firstly I would like to say that everyone who criticises a story purely on the fact that it is not perfectly grammatically correct misses the point. Writing is an experience for the writer and as they write, so they improve. This writer is competent and his stories are easy to read. Therefore he is achieving his primary aim. For those who rant about the sex... this is Literotica... nuff sed. I liked the direction in which walterio took this. As I said in my post on part one, I saw lots of potential, and was entertained by his conclusion. Keep it up walterio. Personally, I'd torch the bitch.
Is bernard mentally unstable?
What husband in his right mind would give this whore a penny? He should have kicked her to the curb immediately, instead of playing games. Here's half a million for making me the laughing stock of my family and friends. What a wimp. Walterio you focus on ass fucking is rather strange, but you do write a good story. Thanks for writing, Luis
A great ending to a fine story!!!!
A great ending to a fine story! I have a sneaking suspicion that Marcy was just a pawn in fiendish plot of Bernard (with the help of Diane and Nick) to quietly get rid of her LOL. Seriously, Waltario, yet another example of writing of the highest quality. Pete.
depends on your taste
If you like blackmail, brutality and sadism, it's a good story. My taste doesn't happen to run to brutality and humiliation,so I did not like the story nor do I hhave much respect for people who write such stories.
the Ct. Yankee
Depraved....
Sure Diane is going to cheat on him just like Marcy did. It is in women's nature to cheat to see if they can get away with it and if they can, the cheating will continue. Bernard is going to be lonely old man watching the love of his live have sex with others which he made her do.
A woman is to be loved and cherished like a new flower coming into bloom. A woman is not to be made to humiliate and degrade herself until she has no more respect. If Bernard would have showed her a little more compassion and TLC, maybe she wouldn't have sought refuge in Nick's arms. I am surprised Marcy went along with Bearnard's plans once he found out about her affair, but then he did want to get rid of her so he could have have his dick sucked. I hope Marcy has a very fulfilling life and has the time of her life while Bernard turns out to be a wealthy old porn watcher with nothing to show for his time because Diane will cheat and or leave him if he does not change his ways. She might even do so because she saw how he treated Marcy and she knows it might happen to her as well. He is a cheat and once a cheat, always a cheat. Diane, wake up and smell the roses.
Where was the dilemma?
In ancient Rome an enraged (or was he demented) Caesar would humiliate presumably disloyal Senators by officially prostituting their wives. The association came to me with the punishment which was determined by the husband. But that’s where the similarity ends. Here, I could not see either rage or humiliation. So how can you punish someone who likes being punished like that? Only when the free- for -all –fun, I mean the punishment seems to run into serious operational problems (like family an half of the city knowing about and/or wanting to take part in it) Marcy decided to implement a radical change in her life – namely, to do the same as she did so far (starting with finding another rich husband) only in a different location! (Not bad, for someone who is described as suffering from a mind cluttered with thoughts poor thing.). There need to be no phones e-mails etc. in the new location, but his are just details.
What we do get –plenty of, Is a mind numbing end less parade of people getting in and out of showers; hotel rooms; inserting body parts into other peoples’ body parts, then inserting inanimate objects into each other – how lively. It’s all reported like a robotic activity log and just as interesting.
But where is the Socialite’s Dilemma? I kept waiting for it but could not find one!
To be honest it was pretty bad, but at the same time –maybe because of lack of any pretension to be more than a sexed up day time opera style tale, I found myself more amused than upset. I count my blessings.
As I Expected!
As I expected this topic draws more negative voting and comments than any other topic in the Literotica lineup. I am sorry that the story obviously offened some readers and it is a topic that I will avoid in the future. I have heard that statistically almost half of the marriages end up in divorce. Of the marriages that are still in place 80% of them have at least one partner having an affair. Maybe because of those statistics this topic is a very sensitive one. Thank you for all your feedback!
room to improve – yes, but why take off?
walterio,
I was sorry to read that your take on the feedbacks you received was that people were offended and that you received larger (than in other type of stories) ‘negative’ comments, leading you to consider staying away from these subjects.
1. The latter could be a variety of reactions which are critical of one aspect or another of the story, and it could be (seriously) a valuable input for you (as it could be for anyone who gets feedback).
2. Even if we go to the lowest level - the visceral ‘yell curse shout type’, it does prove that for that person you hit a nerve. You do not know where and how, but you stirred up that person. That could lead to either a decision to keep away from sensitive issues (as you seem to conclude), or what I would rather see, an appreciation to the fact that you are on to something real.
How to go about approaching the issue in the future? That is another question. But, IMHO, just because people respond strongly to something, it does not mean that you should stay away from it. Intuitively, I would say: stay there, and explore different approaches to the theme; not so mush as a way to please every body (it won’t happen) but as away to explore A SOCIALLY SENSITIVE AREA, which is real – at least in people’s minds.
3. Reg. ‘negative’ comments, as I premised earlier you lumped every thing under one title. Clearly you can't do too much with a comment that says: "I hated it". But sometimes people would tell you WHAT they liked and WHAT they didn’t. It does not mean that you take even a more reasoned feedback and automatically adopt it. First, because in many cases they could contradict each other, and second, you have to be convinced in what is offered to you as something you should change in order to improve.
4. In one area I do agree with you. For many readers, there is a strongly held (if totally mistaken) belief that it is legitimate (literary speaking) to read a piece of fiction as lower in quality - simply because of its THEME(S). With that hard core – you won’t win until every sinner is fully punished (after confessing; seriously suffering or dying, but preferably all of the above), and every victim inherits the kingdom of heaven (or the closest you can get to it on earth).
5. Still, beyond those, there are others, who would cheer to any theme chosen to be explored by an author, in any area, if it’s written well. On my part I conveyed to you that if you worked a bit more on making the characters more credible - more three dimensional, including some thoughts and feelings which change as the plot progresses, you could get much more boom (as in larger and more positive feedback) for your buck (as in your investment in writing each story).
6. I am sure that you can still improve (who does not); and I have no doubt that putting the right filters on feedbacks is not easy, but that should not be a reason to sail in the safe waters of non controversial subjects. The latter may give less “hard time”, but it may also get you less readers and maybe will tech you less as well.
7. I always appreciate authors who take the extra care and respond to reader’s feedback. They are on the right path as far as using this tool of on–line (erotic or not) literary sight.
I’ll be looking to read you again (anywhere on the site…).
Kudos to you for teaching a slut wife what it's
like to be degraded the way that she degraded her husband. All slut whore wives should be treated likewise with out the money naturally
Sorry To Lose You From This Genre, Devil Dog
I, too, tire of the moral prudes on a porn site (of all places). I look forward to reading more of your work, especially if they feature a good editor.
"While sitting in the airline club, Jonathan decided to call Bernard.
Bernard's intercom rang and he picked it up, "Yes Diane. What is it?"
"Your brother Bernard is on the phone Mr. Harrington," his assistant informed him.
"Thank you Diane, I'll take the call," he told her and then spoke to his brother, "Hello Bernard and to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
"Hi Bernard, I am at O'Hare airport and I thought I would call you since I have sometime before my flight," Jonathan replied."
I hope Bernard didn't tire of talking to himself.
By the way, when Nick called Jonathan to drop by the hotel, where did THAT friendship come from? Did I miss its prior establishment?
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