by Many Feathers
Decent enough story idea but sophmoric. I think the first two paragraphs had the word "I" 25 times. Edit?
... is innumerate! The first two paragraphs have the word "I" 8 times, not 25. This is a lovely tender story of long-awaited consummation, very different from the usual teacher-pupil story.
I found the story and the story telling to be very enjoyable! And there were only eight I's in the first two paragraphs. Please keep on writing!
I liked this a lot. Only wish you had drawn it out a bit more. How about part two?