Very nice written!
Loved that dirty talking from here - thats how bitches in heat can be to get the guys hot enough to do what we want them for afterwards...;)
Wow... what a hot story. Instantly one of my favorites!
by
Anonymous07/18/13
Not bad but this is a stroke story...
...that has no real plot. Not all of her talk is "filthy." Some of it's hilarious.
"Snake out my pussy like a clogged drain with that big dick of yours, rod me out with that giant rod!" She's married to a plumber?
by
Anonymous08/21/14
IF I EVER HEARD ...
...the words "Baby Batter" in the middle of a hot fuck I'd snort my snot all over my partner.
by
Anonymous11/27/15
My cock is so engorged and dripping hard.
I'm gonna jack off into my own mouth.
And enjoy every last drop of nut cream
by
Anonymous12/16/16
Not erotic
The dialogue left a lot to be desired. The dirty talk was nowhere in the approximate vicinity of realistic. Filling dialogue with poorly written metaphor and euphemism is the easiest way to remind a reader that they're reading and not experiencing. Nobody actually speaks like that.
As for the prose, it was pretentious and felt like the author was trying to hard to seem like an author. Simple words can get the meaning across even better than some obscure thesaurus find. Keep the writing flowing and natural.
English
dirty mouthed bitch...
Very nice written!
Loved that dirty talking from here - thats how bitches in heat can be to get the guys hot enough to do what we want them for afterwards...;)
just wish there is another part coming sooooooon
take care
/bh
Awesome
Wow... what a hot story. Instantly one of my favorites!
Not bad but this is a stroke story...
...that has no real plot. Not all of her talk is "filthy." Some of it's hilarious.
"Snake out my pussy like a clogged drain with that big dick of yours, rod me out with that giant rod!" She's married to a plumber?
IF I EVER HEARD ...
...the words "Baby Batter" in the middle of a hot fuck I'd snort my snot all over my partner.
My cock is so engorged and dripping hard.
I'm gonna jack off into my own mouth.
And enjoy every last drop of nut cream
Not erotic
The dialogue left a lot to be desired. The dirty talk was nowhere in the approximate vicinity of realistic. Filling dialogue with poorly written metaphor and euphemism is the easiest way to remind a reader that they're reading and not experiencing. Nobody actually speaks like that.
As for the prose, it was pretentious and felt like the author was trying to hard to seem like an author. Simple words can get the meaning across even better than some obscure thesaurus find. Keep the writing flowing and natural.
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