I agree with your assignment of responsibility. If I used this excuse that my wife should have stopped me from flirting with someone, she would have beaten me silly before she divorced me, let well enough alone actual intercourse with an old opponent/enemy of hers.
Next point though, why even bring Sally into all this. She seems to be the sort of person that might readily have a social disease. Moreover, if Little Jake might not be his son, then why take him except for revenge and a rather cruel revenge anyway.
Non of what I'm saying detracts from the quality or craft of the story, but I am thinking we all have beaten this story horse to death and now we're hammering its bones into dust.
by
Anonymous05/30/07
congratulations
congratulations. A nice ending to do the husband right. There was indeed no need to further elaborate a scheme for more revenge.
G.Belgium
by
Anonymous05/30/07
Good one!
Your "black & white" perspective is in so many ways a reality of this situation. Given the fact, the other author creates from a "man-hating" POV, this was a great response to that "un-realistic" story line. Thanks again for sharing your efforts.
but the idea that he should of stepped in to stop JILL er is bullshit.
FIRST unless there is one of those special marriage arrangements IF a spouse has to step in to stop a NON drunk NON drugged spouse from fucking some one else the marriage is over
SECOND..... if we accept the mentally ill lesbian Angiquesophie version of events...
JILL saw Jake several times lurking in the background .. the Man she LOVES... as she fucked 2 guys ... the Man who defended her honor...
shouldn't seeing Jake snap her out of whatever aroused mental state she was in? Angiquesophie story is a fucking disaster b/c she sets up Jake as NOT a wimp but as a traditional MAN. Since Angiquesophie did not develop Jake as a someone who like to watch
....JILL's statements that "maybe Jake really wanted me to fuck around" cant be accepted.
Great ending Bear. And again thanks to all those who have sent me emails admitting that I was 100% correct about Angiquesophie
by
Anonymous05/30/07
Yes I loved your rebuttle
The story that you shattered was written by a male hating lesbian bitch and you put her in her place...sucking shit off my anus. Thank you...
very interesting! now ket me get this right. Angiquesophie had every right to post her story. That does NOT permit the bile i saw in responced to her work. It was a valid endind Since Tabooteller asked fr every one to try thier luck. The idiotic words and insane comments were uncalled for yet they still appear in print. It seems that The Loving Wives NAZIs will nerver grow up. OK OK she did not sat true to the picture of Jake and she certainly made Jill out to be a much better person (more or less) however each person has their side. Tabootelleronly told the story from Jake's POV.
every cop in the world knows that every witness to anything had a different story to tell. Therefore Angiquesophie was just a good a possiblity as Jake's. Yet the wording of the comments leave me cold. Insane? lesbian? man hating? dam people give the world a break. If you must be so mean learn enought English to use words that are less like a slap in the face. Charley Bear wrote a nice ending, well thought out and entirely reasonable. I like it. I had also like SOME of Angiquesophie's storys. (She is never boring for one thing.) there are some i do not care for, but i have found that i have very few writers that i think has written only eclecent stories. (HardDaysKnight being just one.) (And of course ME!!!!) and that sentence will no doubt draw sone fire. PEOPLE, i can disagree with the harsh language. the rancor she can generate is wonderful. the scores are not. Damn you, you read and then scream and yell. Stopping read her stuff. This is not the first time i have written to defend a writer (Check my list of stories) i think it is time that People with the courage to publish in the Loving Wives get a break. (Maybe we can keep the vilified writes on LIT and not drive them to SOL.) i write and recieve comments, i laught at the idiots and grim at the praise. I do not give a damn what you can say about me, i only want people to read my tales. so damn lighten up. I really like it, Charley, keep up the good work.
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Anonymous05/30/07
I once asked
Very logical conclusion to the story - well thought out. That's the problem I had with angie's - it had no logic. If every time we fucked up (in anything) we shifted the blame to anyone else, then we wouldn't learn anything. We would continue with the same pattern of behaviour. I once asked my ex why he had been unfaithful to me. He replied because he could. He flirted, women flirted back and he could not resist some strange sex. At least he never blamed me for his acts. I have to give him credit for that. It would have devastated me if he had.
by
Anonymous05/30/07
Excellent
Other than swiping little Jake, this was an excellent story. Stealing the child, well, I don't know the law on that one, so I can't make an informed comment. Surely that rant by H2OWader isn't really him? when did he start writing with a lisp? haha And his (whoever it is) comments aren't worth a reply. Seems the pot calling the kettle black! Thanks Charleybear!
that lives on in this very good orginal story!
A very well done story as it is a rebuttal of issues of men being of any real use. Some writers think all men should be submissive or just shut up and stay in the background. Some writers have women being nothing but dumb and submissive for an action perpetrated. Even handedness is in the mind of the person writing and that becomes very obvious over time each writers bent.I thank you for your effort and entertainment. Maybe some outrage of opinions should keep streaming, but with some civility.Thank you for the good entertainment.PT
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Anonymous05/30/07
good rebuttal
I like this answer, it seems p0ssible.
and I also liked all of the endings to this story although I tend to lean to the mans side. What it all boils down to is cheating is wrong no matter who does it.
Keep up the good work and thanks for entertain g us to all the writers on here the good and bad, at least you are trying.
Keep writing and I will keep reading and voting for the ones I like.For I believe if you can not say something good keep your mouth shut. If you don not like some ones story don't read them or write a rebuttal.
Mike from Texas
in my idle moments thought about doing an ending myself. I have to say that with the variety of endings it would be hard to come up with something new.
This is a nice clear, decisive ending. Is it vindictive? Hell, yeah! It seems that being cheated upon sometimes engenders that in a person.
Nicely done - I can't imagine anymore endings of this. I wonder if Headhuntertales had any idea of the firestorm he was bringing into the world?
my well meant thanks to you, charleybear, for putting the wretched woman in place and returning sleep to the disturbed nights of all these straight forward and saintly commentators. of course i should have known that only a man's point of view can win in this wonderful section of literotica stories.
n.b.: please read a bit closer; jill wasn't hurt by her man not stopping her, but was pissed off by his urging her on to do what she did. she may have misinterpreted him, but she was honestly creeped out by it. and i can very well see why she would feel like that.
by
Anonymous05/30/07
Good alternative
I believe Charleybear had a great perspective in writing his sequel to Angeliquesophie's original on Jake and Jill. Jill had every opportunity to say no to the bad guys; she could have said no to going on the boat; she could have said no to getting fucked; Why didn't she run up to Jake when she thought she first saw him? I think Jake was so stunned to find Jill in this situation, he questioned her fidelity and wanted to see what she would do - true love doesn't always mean intervening. True love means never putting yourself in an exposed situation to where it could cost you your marriage. I appreciate this perspective. Thank you.
I liked the story Charley. I thought you returned Jake to the person he was in the first story. To those that say he kidnapped Little Jake I say he was returning him to the family home he had been removed from by his mother without his permission. You notice he offered joint custody while Jill wanted to keep him from his father.
As to Angiquesophie's motives for the way men are portrayed in her story who really knows? I could postulate that she's a submissive and this is her way of reliving stress brought on by dom's that have miss used her. Or she's a loving woman that gets off on teasing us all, And I'd have just as much chance of being right as everyone that thinks she's a man hating lesbian.
The reason I gave her story a 1 was for two reasons. Number one (as always) I hated the story. I hated the people in it and I hated what they did. Number two I didn't see how she could have read the same story I did and call hers a response. The two main characters bore no resemblance to the first story.
Finally about H2O's comment. I think every author here must have gotten over the top responses to their stories, And I've been guilty of writing a few (I'm tiring to wait and think about what I want to say before writing a comment instead of going with my knee jerk reaction now). I've noticed a lot of them come out to defend authors that are getting beat up on. That's understandable, But I do have a problem with one thing he said that I've heard repeated over and over here. "Stop reading her stuff". H2O I'm sure every author would like it if everyone that read their stuff liked it, But this is a public site and it ain't going to happen and it won't happen on SOL. You just won't see the public comments because they don't have them. Angiquesophie wrote an ending to a story that many of us have read. Even people that don't usally read her stuff (me) are going to read this. She's been around long enough that she should have known what the response to her story would be, And if the responce bothers her then she needs to decide what's more important to her. The comments and score or the way she wants to portray relationships.
Don't pay any attention to the score on my comment
I don't know how I ended up with the 1 checked on my comment. It should have been a 5. I know that I checked the 5 at the end of the story and voted so that will be the score recorded.(for those that don't know Lit records the first vote they receive from your computer weather it's the one at the end of the story or on your comment)
Everyone must be responsible for their actions. This is undeniably true, so you don't expect your neighbour to keep running to the toilet to shit, if you are the one that have been eating all the bananas. If you don't you will be in a pant full of shit.
So this ending is truly the correct one.
Thank you charley bear.
I liked your ending. Jill should just stay in Florida and be a whore,b/c thats what she is. To put the blame on Jake is so full of shit. Angiewhatever is one crazy bitch. Charley you should redo her stories, but I bet she wouldn't let you. Thanks for writing, Luis
CB, I always seem to like your stuff. Not sure why, but I liked it. And you didn't disappoint me. (^_^)
But angiquesophie comment of: of course i should have known that only a man's point of view can win in this wonderful section of literotica stories makes me laugh. Angiquesophie, Peggy, who seems unwilling (read: way to nice) to say almost anything evil about stories, just couldn't "wait" to point out from a female point of view why your story was (as she put it) hateful, spiteful, and selfish. And that was from a woman. And if you notice you had a few Male readers who agreed with you that anyone, who blames others for not stopping them from harming themselves and others, are never really wrong or villans. The villans are the people who get upset with them when they find out
But I liked Charley's peice because your story seemed more self justification than reason's.
Nice ending from whereshe left off.
Kudo's to you
DG Hear
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Anonymous05/31/07
You never put a loved one in harms way. If you do
it isnt love, it is hate. When a person places themself in a position to hurt themself, their mate, their family, thier marriage, and some would say their employer and friends, they are placing them in harm's way. In this story thru her own stupid actions she placed herself, her husband, and her family in harm's way. To expect the husband to suddenly come along and prevent her actions, which had begun when she arrived at the airport and was kissed, is based on the somewhat idiotic politically correct thought process that no one is really responsible for anything and saying I am sorry corrects all. Every individual is personally responsible for every single act of their lives, there is always a yes/no decision to be made. I have made many of these stupid decisions so I know what I say. There is a mental device called rationalization and another called transfer. This wife applied both methods to remove guilt of her actions from herself to another person, some people do it with things, alcohol and/or drugs. He was right, shock and what if controlled him, and he watched and she confirmed his worst nightmare. She actually ended the marriage when she kissed at the airport and stepped into the car with Sally and friends, actions after that just deepened the hole for her to fall in. The word no is not part of her vocabulary, the words you could have said no for me is. When she took the child from the home without consent of the father and crossed state lines, she committed the crime, it was kidnapping. Returning the child to his home is not kidnapping, and would be better had he filed charges and gotten legal assistance to bring the child home, but in the good old US that would take months if not years. He did not state the child was his, he only questioned based on the mothers actions whether their is a possibility the child was not his and stated clearly he would not pay support if it wasnt. Bringing the child home is the first step in confirming parentage as well as providing support. I agree with another reader having read of Sally's history, as well as Jill's, I would not want to even kiss her for fear of some STD or HIV infection much less have sex with her. A condom isnt after all a guarantee of prevention of infection just a permeable barrier. Were the husband the one to have acted as the wife did in the original story I would side with his wife against him. It isnt a male versus female issue, it is a cheater versus a noncheater issue. To clear the air my wife and I have been swingers, we arent right now but may go back to it. We never play seperately and we are always in agreement before action. And we firmly base our lives on SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL sex. You guys that dont, hurry and get your AIDS and die off so the rest of us dont really have to worry with that any more.
by
Anonymous05/31/07
Just The Best
CB told it the way it should be told.If a wife or husband cheat,then they must live with the results.If you do the crime.then you got to do the time.Right on CB.
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Anonymous05/31/07
Aw Did da Liddle Girl Choke On Her Reality Pill
Lawyers and real writers / readers rejoice! Life lives amid her whining ashes of no-fault and it truly does come around thanks to this Author's appreciated efforts
You nicely said what 99.9% of humans wanted to say but in a much nicer way then I would have.
This was an adults response to a child's selfish want
Now for the rest of the story and it starts with the prior writers comment that the big burly men finally got our way while the poor little girl flower was trod upon - again.
That comment cemented my take on her bent. Now I know she is pissed but that is a consequence of her one sided non-reality. She could possibly be better than anyone else here given her abilities but first the large chip must fall from her shoulder. Your audience sees this and hopes one day you will to - hopefully - for we will all benefit.
Are you willing to give it some thought or are you so jaded in your mindset that we can all go to hell while you do your thing? A pity if that is so.
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Anonymous05/31/07
Great
When one throws down the gauntlet; naturally, any right thinking person has to pick it up and accept the challenge.
Well done.
Boyd
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Anonymous05/31/07
So, So
Readers sure do take these stories seriously, they are fiction writers, most of them anyways. This is Story telling, why can't Angiquesofie's story be rated on how she wrote it and made her own ending, after all, this is FICTION readers!!!!!!
I hope Angique writes more on this story from Jill's point of view because it IS damn good writing!!!!!
with morals of european whores like angiquesophie it is easy to see how the Nazi's came to power
angiquesophie comment here PROVES she is nuts and I mean she is seriously mentally ill
please read a bit closer; jill wasn't hurt by her man not stopping her, but was pissed off by his urging her on to do what she did.
SORRY folks this did NOT happen at any point in HER - angiquesophie-- version of the story or in the Original. Standing by Shock as you watch your almost wife fuck 2 ex boyfriends at a law school reunion is NOT urging her on.
Only in the Europe could that be twisted around as some how Jake URGING his wife on....
she may have misinterpreted him,
MAY?
but she was honestly creeped out by it. and i can very well see why she would feel like that.
thats because angiquesophie you are a MORON.
You developed a straight hetro male who does NOT like to watch.... had never talked about watching or swapping or anything else.... a guy who fought to defend JILL's honor... yet somehow you can see how JILL might think Jake wants her to fuck 2 guys in public at the Law school reunion?
God almighty you angiquesophie are a serious whack job.
Her writing is really good. That's not to say that CB is bad but she is in a different class. I find her ending of CB's story uncomfortably reasonable. I don't know who the carping self-righteous commentators in this site are but it doesn't seem likely that they have contented wives!
by
Anonymous05/31/07
YES
Yes
by
Anonymous05/31/07
re: In defence ....
Bull FUCKING SHIT!!! Unless I misread the story, nowhere does it state that this was an OPEN marriage, so I'm assuming the vows of marriaged included "forsake all others" or words similar to that. And since a marriage is "a contract", as a "LAWYER" she has no FUCKING excuse for breaking it and then claim "I didn't break it"
There was never any hope for the marriage. Jill is a cheating whore, (and a lawyer) and always will be, no man in his right mind would even consider staying married to that. Probably could keep her around as a fuck buddy if the kid turns out to be his.
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Anonymous05/31/07
Unnecessary!!!
Everybody knew after reading HHT's first six chapters and Angiquesophie's "Jill's opinion" that Jill and Jake are incompatibel persons. She is not what he thinks she is and he is not what she thinks he is. What stays totally in the dark, how these two people could get married and believe for years that they were in love. This is an outrageous self-deception on both sides. After the Florida events and the following discussions they've started to discover this fact and it's now only a question of time when this lie of their lives will be completely in the open and then the divorce will be inevitable..................... Dear CB, normally I like your stories, even if they'are simplified and very often painted in black and white. But this one is simply unnecessary and far away from being a rebuttal because you didn't respect in any way the character descriptions delivered by HHT and Angiquesophie. Like a bulldozzer you designed a completely new track that has little to do with the original line. An example? A man with Jake's personality would be unable to write such a letter as you did in your story. He would be unable, too, to have sex with the ennemy Sally or steal away the son from his mother? These are revenge components invented by you. Was it really necessary to use such cheap elements only to show to some stupid readers of this site what men have to do to be "real men"? Your present story is as bad as HHT's chapter 7 and 8. I gave 25 points only because it's much better written, however without reaching the level of Angiquesophie. I believe writing sequels isn't really your thing. You're following your personal law and order line and pay little attention to the work of others..................
Best regards - Bavarian
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Anonymous05/31/07
Unrealistic
Perhaps this was intended as a cartoon, but 2 things struck me as unbelievable: 1) All these deliveries on the beach (I suppose it's possible with a very high priced service, not UPS et al). A package delivery to her hotel would have sufficed. 2) Sally taking little Jake. I can't see Sally turning on Jill. In the original story Sally kept urging Jill on to her bad behavior. In the story which this aims to rebut, Sally can't stand Jake. All the stories agree that Jake can't stand Sally. I do agree that divorce is most likely outcome from this couple. Jill's stealing Little Jake would have been the final straw, but Jill's contempt for her husband is the true cause.
But I loved the staccato of the delibertative process in your rebuttal, like an experienced lawyer who usually stays calm, except when a careless arrogant newcomer makes one too many mistakes and provokes the lion to put the little annoyance in place.
BTW, Harry, FYI, the Nazis targeted and killed gays and lesbians.
Angiquesophie –Your sarcastic score of “100”, combined with the empty sarcastic comments about not being able to ‘win’ over “the man’s point of view”, make as much sense as the arguments you put into your main character in your story. Your derisive comments on men are a continued embarrassment to any progressive person, as you continue to pit men and women against each other, regardless of their views. In doing so you provide ammunition to all the right wing homophobes! Looks like you have found your own fail-proof method in life: when you succeed it’s you; when you fail (not in your dictionary): it’s the ‘man’s world’ which failed you. How convenient, and no need to ever examine the substance of what you said to its merit (no effort on your part have been made to respond to any of numerous specific points which were raised as critic on your follow up). So, go on, blame “the man”; you put yourself on the same level field as all the others who blame whole sections of populations, such as defined by gender; race or religion for what goes wrong in their lives.
"Charley':This was a well constructed rebuttal to a sequel that was greatly unsatisfying. You presented your "case" by the numbers and gave a good accounting for a husband I believe was terribly wronged in the sequel preceding your story. This was a plausible and credible response by the husband. I will give a nod to that person commenting that the character "Sally" wouldn't have been involved in any trickery affecting "Jill," but I gotta tell you, the resolution of this story obscures pretty much any fault that this story might contain. As to "Jill" being served while on the beach, I can suspend disbelief for the sake of the ending.I am vexed by 'angiquesophie's' reaction to this story. Her female protagonist was the personification of self indulgence and contradiction. The wife in that story stridently claimed to have a brain and to have the intent to use it. Yet she blamed her husband for her act of indiscretion...based upon a misconception on her part. That 'angiquesophie' would comment that this story was a salve for those "saintly commentators" who found fault with her sequel to make rest less disturbed and more easy is caustic, undeserved and far beneath her. Enough nonsense is posted here. It's interesting that an author such as she who can paint with words such vivid and colorful pictures now only sees black and white.
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Anonymous06/01/07
Do a switch
Just suppose that Jake was Jill and did everything she did only as he and with the opposite sex. Makes no nevermind to me. My comment would be consistent in either instance.
People face choices everyday. They may take into consideration someone else's input, but in the end, the choise is their own. So are the consequences. No relationship would prosper if one spouse had to police the other to make sure they always made the right choice. It would be emotionally devestating to witness a spouse's infidelity. In no way can witnessing such and taking no immediate action be in any way be taken as acts of encouragement. I'm a woman and if I had been in Jake's position, I have no doubt that I would have been shocked beyond reason to witness such acts by spouse. Even to the point that I wouldn't be able to form action. I'd be so sick at heart.
As well, since CB had Jake in contact with Sally beforehand, it shouldn't have to be obviously spelled out that he knew where the letter and divorce papers were to be taken. But in case it does: Sally told him where so the plan to return Little Jake to his home state could happen.
Good job CB. I always enjoy your stories as they do not make excuses for someone else's reprehensible behavior. Continue on.
by
Anonymous06/01/07
Pathetic
What a pathetic little cock sucker Jake is. And so are you for taking this piece of shits side of the story. All this cum ball is, is a voyeur who gets off on watching his wife give something he thinks is his to someone else. Any MAN would have stepped up to the plate and claimed his bride. Not this slime ball, he skulks into the darkness and comes back to accuse her of doing what he is afraid to do.
Bad, bad, bad. You must have had a wife who did the same thing to you. LOL
Good job on pointing out the obvious shortcomings of the Angiquesophie's ending. It might feel good to take Little Jake to another state to get back on Jake for not accepting Jill's apology but it resolved nothing. The reader did not know whether Jake told her sorry as she insisted, what happened to the marriage or did Jill go back to the Mendozas. ______________________________________________
T o angiquesophie - I challenge you to switch the gender of the story to answer your own question about sexism on this website. ________________________________________________ Let Jake engineer going to the reunion alone so he can feel free of his parental and martial roles. Oh to be 21 again so he can hang out with those hot Mendoza sisters (Juanita and Henrita) on their yacht. Never mind that those twins were the bane of Jill's existence while in school and Jill stopped Jake from making the mistake of his life. They were sluts no matter how you dress them up in suits and the legal profession. Let Jake dance nude on the yacht, dance dirty with Juanita, grope and feel her up in the hot tub and invite her (and Henrita) to his room. Of course, Jake would have to drop some Viagra to keep up with them. Jill comes down to surprise Jake and she is just stunned by his behavior but she does not try to stop him. So does your recent comment reworded for the role switch still apply? __________________________________________________ ______
"Jake wasn't hurt by his woman not stopping him, but was pissed off by her urging him on to do what he did. He may have misinterpreted her, but he was honestly creeped out by it".
____________________________________________ ______________
Sorry - IMHO -If the roles were reversed then Jill would be the victim and Jake the villian. It always up to the victim whether any reconciliation occurs. Your story just shows that Jake and Jill as you have written them do not belong together (which Charleybear pointed out in this story)!
_________________________________________ _________________
Thanks again Charleybear!
by
Anonymous06/06/07
Great
Great sermon AND great fiction!
by
Anonymous06/21/07
Perfect response to the other "lousy" story!
As usual, this author cuts to the chase and puts resolution to the fantasy whims of another man-hater author. Great story and thanks for bringing this much-more realistic point of view to enlighten us.
Great rebuttal, great story, great job of sticking with the personalities of the two main characters. Thank goodness I read this story right after rereading Angiquesophie's ending. It replaced the horrible taste the other ending left.
Thank you charleybear, your ending to the story was well done and, I think, faithful to the original. I love angiquesophie's writing style, her abilities are quite evident, but unfortunately her unremitting male-bashing has pretty much made a non-reader out of me. Her comments here make it pretty clear that, for her, it's always going to be the man's fault.
Since this is written as a rebuttal to angiquesopie's peice, I think it only fair to apply the same standards of criticism. His letter laying blame for the infidelity is right and reasonable, no adult should be expected to hang around and nursemaid their spouse if they showed the intent to commit infidelity, the marriage is already nearly over by that point. But any lawyer worth their salt would simply contest custody and file charges against the woman for kidnapping if she refused to return the child, as she fled the state with intent. The "her best friend wanted to fuck me, so she kidnapped the kid back" plot line is unrealistic in the extreme and no more beleivable than the woman lawyer running off to Florida with the kid in the first place.
by
Anonymous09/09/08
a bit unrealistic
because of the the kid. and the the tears of the bitch to. but in the end thats the way it is. failed
by
Anonymous11/21/08
Good For Him
It's about time yhe truth be told --Jakes right -she is totally at fault . Let her burn in hell with the Mendozas
English
hopefully an end to this
I agree with your assignment of responsibility. If I used this excuse that my wife should have stopped me from flirting with someone, she would have beaten me silly before she divorced me, let well enough alone actual intercourse with an old opponent/enemy of hers.
Next point though, why even bring Sally into all this. She seems to be the sort of person that might readily have a social disease. Moreover, if Little Jake might not be his son, then why take him except for revenge and a rather cruel revenge anyway.
Non of what I'm saying detracts from the quality or craft of the story, but I am thinking we all have beaten this story horse to death and now we're hammering its bones into dust.
congratulations
congratulations. A nice ending to do the husband right. There was indeed no need to further elaborate a scheme for more revenge.
G.Belgium
Good one!
Your "black & white" perspective is in so many ways a reality of this situation. Given the fact, the other author creates from a "man-hating" POV, this was a great response to that "un-realistic" story line. Thanks again for sharing your efforts.
why should he have stepped in?
Love this ending....
but the idea that he should of stepped in to stop JILL er is bullshit.
FIRST unless there is one of those special marriage arrangements IF a spouse has to step in to stop a NON drunk NON drugged spouse from fucking some one else the marriage is over
SECOND..... if we accept the mentally ill lesbian Angiquesophie version of events...
JILL saw Jake several times lurking in the background .. the Man she LOVES... as she fucked 2 guys ... the Man who defended her honor...
shouldn't seeing Jake snap her out of whatever aroused mental state she was in? Angiquesophie story is a fucking disaster b/c she sets up Jake as NOT a wimp but as a traditional MAN. Since Angiquesophie did not develop Jake as a someone who like to watch
....JILL's statements that "maybe Jake really wanted me to fuck around" cant be accepted.
Great ending Bear. And again thanks to all those who have sent me emails admitting that I was 100% correct about Angiquesophie
Yes I loved your rebuttle
The story that you shattered was written by a male hating lesbian bitch and you put her in her place...sucking shit off my anus. Thank you...
interesting
very interesting! now ket me get this right. Angiquesophie had every right to post her story. That does NOT permit the bile i saw in responced to her work. It was a valid endind Since Tabooteller asked fr every one to try thier luck. The idiotic words and insane comments were uncalled for yet they still appear in print. It seems that The Loving Wives NAZIs will nerver grow up. OK OK she did not sat true to the picture of Jake and she certainly made Jill out to be a much better person (more or less) however each person has their side. Tabootelleronly told the story from Jake's POV.
every cop in the world knows that every witness to anything had a different story to tell. Therefore Angiquesophie was just a good a possiblity as Jake's. Yet the wording of the comments leave me cold. Insane? lesbian? man hating? dam people give the world a break. If you must be so mean learn enought English to use words that are less like a slap in the face. Charley Bear wrote a nice ending, well thought out and entirely reasonable. I like it. I had also like SOME of Angiquesophie's storys. (She is never boring for one thing.) there are some i do not care for, but i have found that i have very few writers that i think has written only eclecent stories. (HardDaysKnight being just one.) (And of course ME!!!!) and that sentence will no doubt draw sone fire. PEOPLE, i can disagree with the harsh language. the rancor she can generate is wonderful. the scores are not. Damn you, you read and then scream and yell. Stopping read her stuff. This is not the first time i have written to defend a writer (Check my list of stories) i think it is time that People with the courage to publish in the Loving Wives get a break. (Maybe we can keep the vilified writes on LIT and not drive them to SOL.) i write and recieve comments, i laught at the idiots and grim at the praise. I do not give a damn what you can say about me, i only want people to read my tales. so damn lighten up. I really like it, Charley, keep up the good work.
I once asked
Very logical conclusion to the story - well thought out. That's the problem I had with angie's - it had no logic. If every time we fucked up (in anything) we shifted the blame to anyone else, then we wouldn't learn anything. We would continue with the same pattern of behaviour. I once asked my ex why he had been unfaithful to me. He replied because he could. He flirted, women flirted back and he could not resist some strange sex. At least he never blamed me for his acts. I have to give him credit for that. It would have devastated me if he had.
Excellent
Other than swiping little Jake, this was an excellent story. Stealing the child, well, I don't know the law on that one, so I can't make an informed comment. Surely that rant by H2OWader isn't really him? when did he start writing with a lisp? haha And his (whoever it is) comments aren't worth a reply. Seems the pot calling the kettle black! Thanks Charleybear!
A good effort put forward of a great challange
that lives on in this very good orginal story!
A very well done story as it is a rebuttal of issues of men being of any real use. Some writers think all men should be submissive or just shut up and stay in the background. Some writers have women being nothing but dumb and submissive for an action perpetrated. Even handedness is in the mind of the person writing and that becomes very obvious over time each writers bent.I thank you for your effort and entertainment. Maybe some outrage of opinions should keep streaming, but with some civility.Thank you for the good entertainment.PT
good rebuttal
I like this answer, it seems p0ssible.
and I also liked all of the endings to this story although I tend to lean to the mans side. What it all boils down to is cheating is wrong no matter who does it.
Keep up the good work and thanks for entertain g us to all the writers on here the good and bad, at least you are trying.
Keep writing and I will keep reading and voting for the ones I like.For I believe if you can not say something good keep your mouth shut. If you don not like some ones story don't read them or write a rebuttal.
Mike from Texas
Satisfying Catharsis
This was the missed part of the whole drama.
Thank you. I enjoyed your little sequel.
Nucleus
I have sometimes
in my idle moments thought about doing an ending myself. I have to say that with the variety of endings it would be hard to come up with something new.
This is a nice clear, decisive ending. Is it vindictive? Hell, yeah! It seems that being cheated upon sometimes engenders that in a person.
Nicely done - I can't imagine anymore endings of this. I wonder if Headhuntertales had any idea of the firestorm he was bringing into the world?
Regards, Jack
pheeeeww
my well meant thanks to you, charleybear, for putting the wretched woman in place and returning sleep to the disturbed nights of all these straight forward and saintly commentators. of course i should have known that only a man's point of view can win in this wonderful section of literotica stories.
n.b.: please read a bit closer; jill wasn't hurt by her man not stopping her, but was pissed off by his urging her on to do what she did. she may have misinterpreted him, but she was honestly creeped out by it. and i can very well see why she would feel like that.
Good alternative
I believe Charleybear had a great perspective in writing his sequel to Angeliquesophie's original on Jake and Jill. Jill had every opportunity to say no to the bad guys; she could have said no to going on the boat; she could have said no to getting fucked; Why didn't she run up to Jake when she thought she first saw him? I think Jake was so stunned to find Jill in this situation, he questioned her fidelity and wanted to see what she would do - true love doesn't always mean intervening. True love means never putting yourself in an exposed situation to where it could cost you your marriage. I appreciate this perspective. Thank you.
Good story
I liked the story Charley. I thought you returned Jake to the person he was in the first story. To those that say he kidnapped Little Jake I say he was returning him to the family home he had been removed from by his mother without his permission. You notice he offered joint custody while Jill wanted to keep him from his father.
As to Angiquesophie's motives for the way men are portrayed in her story who really knows? I could postulate that she's a submissive and this is her way of reliving stress brought on by dom's that have miss used her. Or she's a loving woman that gets off on teasing us all, And I'd have just as much chance of being right as everyone that thinks she's a man hating lesbian.
The reason I gave her story a 1 was for two reasons. Number one (as always) I hated the story. I hated the people in it and I hated what they did. Number two I didn't see how she could have read the same story I did and call hers a response. The two main characters bore no resemblance to the first story.
Finally about H2O's comment. I think every author here must have gotten over the top responses to their stories, And I've been guilty of writing a few (I'm tiring to wait and think about what I want to say before writing a comment instead of going with my knee jerk reaction now). I've noticed a lot of them come out to defend authors that are getting beat up on. That's understandable, But I do have a problem with one thing he said that I've heard repeated over and over here. "Stop reading her stuff". H2O I'm sure every author would like it if everyone that read their stuff liked it, But this is a public site and it ain't going to happen and it won't happen on SOL. You just won't see the public comments because they don't have them. Angiquesophie wrote an ending to a story that many of us have read. Even people that don't usally read her stuff (me) are going to read this. She's been around long enough that she should have known what the response to her story would be, And if the responce bothers her then she needs to decide what's more important to her. The comments and score or the way she wants to portray relationships.
Don't pay any attention to the score on my comment
I don't know how I ended up with the 1 checked on my comment. It should have been a 5. I know that I checked the 5 at the end of the story and voted so that will be the score recorded.(for those that don't know Lit records the first vote they receive from your computer weather it's the one at the end of the story or on your comment)
Great
Thank you for writing a proper ending.
What goes around comes around
Everyone must be responsible for their actions. This is undeniably true, so you don't expect your neighbour to keep running to the toilet to shit, if you are the one that have been eating all the bananas. If you don't you will be in a pant full of shit.
So this ending is truly the correct one.
Thank you charley bear.
Good ending
I liked your ending. Jill should just stay in Florida and be a whore,b/c thats what she is. To put the blame on Jake is so full of shit. Angiewhatever is one crazy bitch. Charley you should redo her stories, but I bet she wouldn't let you. Thanks for writing, Luis
LOL!! I knew I would like this when I saw it!
CB, I always seem to like your stuff. Not sure why, but I liked it. And you didn't disappoint me. (^_^)
But angiquesophie comment of: of course i should have known that only a man's point of view can win in this wonderful section of literotica stories makes me laugh. Angiquesophie, Peggy, who seems unwilling (read: way to nice) to say almost anything evil about stories, just couldn't "wait" to point out from a female point of view why your story was (as she put it) hateful, spiteful, and selfish. And that was from a woman. And if you notice you had a few Male readers who agreed with you that anyone, who blames others for not stopping them from harming themselves and others, are never really wrong or villans. The villans are the people who get upset with them when they find out
But I liked Charley's peice because your story seemed more self justification than reason's.
-Risq
Very good CB
Nice ending from whereshe left off.
Kudo's to you
DG Hear
You never put a loved one in harms way. If you do
it isnt love, it is hate. When a person places themself in a position to hurt themself, their mate, their family, thier marriage, and some would say their employer and friends, they are placing them in harm's way. In this story thru her own stupid actions she placed herself, her husband, and her family in harm's way. To expect the husband to suddenly come along and prevent her actions, which had begun when she arrived at the airport and was kissed, is based on the somewhat idiotic politically correct thought process that no one is really responsible for anything and saying I am sorry corrects all. Every individual is personally responsible for every single act of their lives, there is always a yes/no decision to be made. I have made many of these stupid decisions so I know what I say. There is a mental device called rationalization and another called transfer. This wife applied both methods to remove guilt of her actions from herself to another person, some people do it with things, alcohol and/or drugs. He was right, shock and what if controlled him, and he watched and she confirmed his worst nightmare. She actually ended the marriage when she kissed at the airport and stepped into the car with Sally and friends, actions after that just deepened the hole for her to fall in. The word no is not part of her vocabulary, the words you could have said no for me is. When she took the child from the home without consent of the father and crossed state lines, she committed the crime, it was kidnapping. Returning the child to his home is not kidnapping, and would be better had he filed charges and gotten legal assistance to bring the child home, but in the good old US that would take months if not years. He did not state the child was his, he only questioned based on the mothers actions whether their is a possibility the child was not his and stated clearly he would not pay support if it wasnt. Bringing the child home is the first step in confirming parentage as well as providing support. I agree with another reader having read of Sally's history, as well as Jill's, I would not want to even kiss her for fear of some STD or HIV infection much less have sex with her. A condom isnt after all a guarantee of prevention of infection just a permeable barrier. Were the husband the one to have acted as the wife did in the original story I would side with his wife against him. It isnt a male versus female issue, it is a cheater versus a noncheater issue. To clear the air my wife and I have been swingers, we arent right now but may go back to it. We never play seperately and we are always in agreement before action. And we firmly base our lives on SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL sex. You guys that dont, hurry and get your AIDS and die off so the rest of us dont really have to worry with that any more.
Just The Best
CB told it the way it should be told.If a wife or husband cheat,then they must live with the results.If you do the crime.then you got to do the time.Right on CB.
Aw Did da Liddle Girl Choke On Her Reality Pill
Lawyers and real writers / readers rejoice! Life lives amid her whining ashes of no-fault and it truly does come around thanks to this Author's appreciated efforts
You nicely said what 99.9% of humans wanted to say but in a much nicer way then I would have.
This was an adults response to a child's selfish want
Now for the rest of the story and it starts with the prior writers comment that the big burly men finally got our way while the poor little girl flower was trod upon - again.
That comment cemented my take on her bent. Now I know she is pissed but that is a consequence of her one sided non-reality. She could possibly be better than anyone else here given her abilities but first the large chip must fall from her shoulder. Your audience sees this and hopes one day you will to - hopefully - for we will all benefit.
Are you willing to give it some thought or are you so jaded in your mindset that we can all go to hell while you do your thing? A pity if that is so.
Great
When one throws down the gauntlet; naturally, any right thinking person has to pick it up and accept the challenge.
Well done.
Boyd
So, So
Readers sure do take these stories seriously, they are fiction writers, most of them anyways. This is Story telling, why can't Angiquesofie's story be rated on how she wrote it and made her own ending, after all, this is FICTION readers!!!!!!
I hope Angique writes more on this story from Jill's point of view because it IS damn good writing!!!!!
angiquesophie comments PROVES she is NUTS
with morals of european whores like angiquesophie it is easy to see how the Nazi's came to power
angiquesophie comment here PROVES she is nuts and I mean she is seriously mentally ill
please read a bit closer; jill wasn't hurt by her man not stopping her, but was pissed off by his urging her on to do what she did.
SORRY folks this did NOT happen at any point in HER - angiquesophie-- version of the story or in the Original. Standing by Shock as you watch your almost wife fuck 2 ex boyfriends at a law school reunion is NOT urging her on.
Only in the Europe could that be twisted around as some how Jake URGING his wife on....
she may have misinterpreted him,
MAY?
but she was honestly creeped out by it. and i can very well see why she would feel like that.
thats because angiquesophie you are a MORON.
You developed a straight hetro male who does NOT like to watch.... had never talked about watching or swapping or anything else.... a guy who fought to defend JILL's honor... yet somehow you can see how JILL might think Jake wants her to fuck 2 guys in public at the Law school reunion?
God almighty you angiquesophie are a serious whack job.
In defence of AngiqueSophie
Her writing is really good. That's not to say that CB is bad but she is in a different class. I find her ending of CB's story uncomfortably reasonable. I don't know who the carping self-righteous commentators in this site are but it doesn't seem likely that they have contented wives!
YES
Yes
re: In defence ....
Bull FUCKING SHIT!!! Unless I misread the story, nowhere does it state that this was an OPEN marriage, so I'm assuming the vows of marriaged included "forsake all others" or words similar to that. And since a marriage is "a contract", as a "LAWYER" she has no FUCKING excuse for breaking it and then claim "I didn't break it"
Dear Use1ceOnly
It takes a cheater to defend a cheater. Look in the mirror to find one.
Well Said!
There was never any hope for the marriage. Jill is a cheating whore, (and a lawyer) and always will be, no man in his right mind would even consider staying married to that. Probably could keep her around as a fuck buddy if the kid turns out to be his.
Unnecessary!!!
Everybody knew after reading HHT's first six chapters and Angiquesophie's "Jill's opinion" that Jill and Jake are incompatibel persons. She is not what he thinks she is and he is not what she thinks he is. What stays totally in the dark, how these two people could get married and believe for years that they were in love. This is an outrageous self-deception on both sides. After the Florida events and the following discussions they've started to discover this fact and it's now only a question of time when this lie of their lives will be completely in the open and then the divorce will be inevitable..................... Dear CB, normally I like your stories, even if they'are simplified and very often painted in black and white. But this one is simply unnecessary and far away from being a rebuttal because you didn't respect in any way the character descriptions delivered by HHT and Angiquesophie. Like a bulldozzer you designed a completely new track that has little to do with the original line. An example? A man with Jake's personality would be unable to write such a letter as you did in your story. He would be unable, too, to have sex with the ennemy Sally or steal away the son from his mother? These are revenge components invented by you. Was it really necessary to use such cheap elements only to show to some stupid readers of this site what men have to do to be "real men"? Your present story is as bad as HHT's chapter 7 and 8. I gave 25 points only because it's much better written, however without reaching the level of Angiquesophie. I believe writing sequels isn't really your thing. You're following your personal law and order line and pay little attention to the work of others..................
Best regards - Bavarian
Unrealistic
Perhaps this was intended as a cartoon, but 2 things struck me as unbelievable: 1) All these deliveries on the beach (I suppose it's possible with a very high priced service, not UPS et al). A package delivery to her hotel would have sufficed. 2) Sally taking little Jake. I can't see Sally turning on Jill. In the original story Sally kept urging Jill on to her bad behavior. In the story which this aims to rebut, Sally can't stand Jake. All the stories agree that Jake can't stand Sally. I do agree that divorce is most likely outcome from this couple. Jill's stealing Little Jake would have been the final straw, but Jill's contempt for her husband is the true cause.
Nucleus said it!
But I loved the staccato of the delibertative process in your rebuttal, like an experienced lawyer who usually stays calm, except when a careless arrogant newcomer makes one too many mistakes and provokes the lion to put the little annoyance in place.
BTW, Harry, FYI, the Nazis targeted and killed gays and lesbians.
‘MEN BUSTER COMES’…AGAIN
Angiquesophie –Your sarcastic score of “100”, combined with the empty sarcastic comments about not being able to ‘win’ over “the man’s point of view”, make as much sense as the arguments you put into your main character in your story. Your derisive comments on men are a continued embarrassment to any progressive person, as you continue to pit men and women against each other, regardless of their views. In doing so you provide ammunition to all the right wing homophobes! Looks like you have found your own fail-proof method in life: when you succeed it’s you; when you fail (not in your dictionary): it’s the ‘man’s world’ which failed you. How convenient, and no need to ever examine the substance of what you said to its merit (no effort on your part have been made to respond to any of numerous specific points which were raised as critic on your follow up). So, go on, blame “the man”; you put yourself on the same level field as all the others who blame whole sections of populations, such as defined by gender; race or religion for what goes wrong in their lives.
I guess it's gonna be easier to sleep tonite
"Charley':This was a well constructed rebuttal to a sequel that was greatly unsatisfying. You presented your "case" by the numbers and gave a good accounting for a husband I believe was terribly wronged in the sequel preceding your story. This was a plausible and credible response by the husband. I will give a nod to that person commenting that the character "Sally" wouldn't have been involved in any trickery affecting "Jill," but I gotta tell you, the resolution of this story obscures pretty much any fault that this story might contain. As to "Jill" being served while on the beach, I can suspend disbelief for the sake of the ending.I am vexed by 'angiquesophie's' reaction to this story. Her female protagonist was the personification of self indulgence and contradiction. The wife in that story stridently claimed to have a brain and to have the intent to use it. Yet she blamed her husband for her act of indiscretion...based upon a misconception on her part. That 'angiquesophie' would comment that this story was a salve for those "saintly commentators" who found fault with her sequel to make rest less disturbed and more easy is caustic, undeserved and far beneath her. Enough nonsense is posted here. It's interesting that an author such as she who can paint with words such vivid and colorful pictures now only sees black and white.
Do a switch
Just suppose that Jake was Jill and did everything she did only as he and with the opposite sex. Makes no nevermind to me. My comment would be consistent in either instance.
People face choices everyday. They may take into consideration someone else's input, but in the end, the choise is their own. So are the consequences. No relationship would prosper if one spouse had to police the other to make sure they always made the right choice. It would be emotionally devestating to witness a spouse's infidelity. In no way can witnessing such and taking no immediate action be in any way be taken as acts of encouragement. I'm a woman and if I had been in Jake's position, I have no doubt that I would have been shocked beyond reason to witness such acts by spouse. Even to the point that I wouldn't be able to form action. I'd be so sick at heart.
As well, since CB had Jake in contact with Sally beforehand, it shouldn't have to be obviously spelled out that he knew where the letter and divorce papers were to be taken. But in case it does: Sally told him where so the plan to return Little Jake to his home state could happen.
Good job CB. I always enjoy your stories as they do not make excuses for someone else's reprehensible behavior. Continue on.
Pathetic
What a pathetic little cock sucker Jake is. And so are you for taking this piece of shits side of the story. All this cum ball is, is a voyeur who gets off on watching his wife give something he thinks is his to someone else. Any MAN would have stepped up to the plate and claimed his bride. Not this slime ball, he skulks into the darkness and comes back to accuse her of doing what he is afraid to do.
Bad, bad, bad. You must have had a wife who did the same thing to you. LOL
This was erotic?
Good sermon, poor fiction.
Bravo - Chareybear!
Good job on pointing out the obvious shortcomings of the Angiquesophie's ending. It might feel good to take Little Jake to another state to get back on Jake for not accepting Jill's apology but it resolved nothing. The reader did not know whether Jake told her sorry as she insisted, what happened to the marriage or did Jill go back to the Mendozas. ______________________________________________
T o angiquesophie - I challenge you to switch the gender of the story to answer your own question about sexism on this website. ________________________________________________ Let Jake engineer going to the reunion alone so he can feel free of his parental and martial roles. Oh to be 21 again so he can hang out with those hot Mendoza sisters (Juanita and Henrita) on their yacht. Never mind that those twins were the bane of Jill's existence while in school and Jill stopped Jake from making the mistake of his life. They were sluts no matter how you dress them up in suits and the legal profession. Let Jake dance nude on the yacht, dance dirty with Juanita, grope and feel her up in the hot tub and invite her (and Henrita) to his room. Of course, Jake would have to drop some Viagra to keep up with them. Jill comes down to surprise Jake and she is just stunned by his behavior but she does not try to stop him. So does your recent comment reworded for the role switch still apply? __________________________________________________ ______
"Jake wasn't hurt by his woman not stopping him, but was pissed off by her urging him on to do what he did. He may have misinterpreted her, but he was honestly creeped out by it".
____________________________________________ ______________
Sorry - IMHO -If the roles were reversed then Jill would be the victim and Jake the villian. It always up to the victim whether any reconciliation occurs. Your story just shows that Jake and Jill as you have written them do not belong together (which Charleybear pointed out in this story)!
_________________________________________ _________________
Thanks again Charleybear!
Great
Great sermon AND great fiction!
Perfect response to the other "lousy" story!
As usual, this author cuts to the chase and puts resolution to the fantasy whims of another man-hater author. Great story and thanks for bringing this much-more realistic point of view to enlighten us.
booo...
...but im giving you a 100
:)
Great
Great rebuttal, great story, great job of sticking with the personalities of the two main characters. Thank goodness I read this story right after rereading Angiquesophie's ending. It replaced the horrible taste the other ending left.
Thanks
Thank you charleybear, your ending to the story was well done and, I think, faithful to the original. I love angiquesophie's writing style, her abilities are quite evident, but unfortunately her unremitting male-bashing has pretty much made a non-reader out of me. Her comments here make it pretty clear that, for her, it's always going to be the man's fault.
Same faults as the story you criticize
Since this is written as a rebuttal to angiquesopie's peice, I think it only fair to apply the same standards of criticism. His letter laying blame for the infidelity is right and reasonable, no adult should be expected to hang around and nursemaid their spouse if they showed the intent to commit infidelity, the marriage is already nearly over by that point. But any lawyer worth their salt would simply contest custody and file charges against the woman for kidnapping if she refused to return the child, as she fled the state with intent. The "her best friend wanted to fuck me, so she kidnapped the kid back" plot line is unrealistic in the extreme and no more beleivable than the woman lawyer running off to Florida with the kid in the first place.
a bit unrealistic
because of the the kid. and the the tears of the bitch to. but in the end thats the way it is. failed
Good For Him
It's about time yhe truth be told --Jakes right -she is totally at fault . Let her burn in hell with the Mendozas
Hate to say this but there are winners, Big and
little Jake...They got free of the slut. As far as Angiquesophie's version. She is a Lezzie and her husband sucks cock also. You did good.
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