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Ummm, what the heck???
Why would her boyfriend leave her after being together for years, just because his mom disliked her? If he hurt her and then went back to her because she was crying then why break up at all...and why would she love a job that she was she treated so poorly at...there are too many unanswered questions just to get the readers to read about the "hot" sex. It's like watching a badly written porno, nothing makes much sense.
yummy
One of my favourite fantasies is meeting a sexy woman on the crowded train and following her home for a delicious fucking... so of course, I enjoyed this story enormously!
Quality
the only criticism I have is that you expand your "lusty lexicon" the almost sequencial use of "grant my release" stuck out in my mind,
but, other than that, a good time had by all... namely, me!
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