Interesting premise...... I would like to read more.
by
Anonymous06/01/07
Implausible and poorly written
Sentence structure was extremely awkward. Punctuation was spotty and in some cases missing altogether. I didn't buy the idea of an 18-year-old accepting being "grounded" for what a 16-year-old sister had done.
In all, pretty lame.
by
Anonymous06/01/07
Super Story
Hello - What a hot story ! It certainly made me hard and remember when I saw a real woman for the first time.....Maybe Mary will show him how to screw her tits or do it doggy style ?? Please write the next chapter soon......thank you !!
The writing is unique.. not perfect but in a style and humor that is endearing. Were the mistakes deliberate? Probably not, but they help make for a very pleasant and erotic story. Thanks!
by
Anonymous06/02/07
Reasonably Probable
This sounds like a true story. It's dated, of course, and most young readers won't get the nostolgia. I like it. On the down side; it's a little wordsy. On the up side; it's clear.
by
Anonymous06/02/07
Ooooh Nice!
Ooooh Nice! Good Language, interesting suspense, entertaining, and of course, erotic.
I happened across this submission, found myself reading it, and I have to say, it was very enjoyable. I don't understand the negative comments, I look forward to the next chapter!
the story was nice, but for god sakes, learn how to punctuate. learn how to use periods and comas the right way, you made me sick with your blatant mistakes.
by
Anonymous12/05/09
grammar goddess
Somebody writes: "learn how to use periods and comas the right way, you made me sick with your blatant mistakes."
Hi there,
Wish you lived in Worcester, Mass they had triple deckers, Geeeeze you lucked out dude, hell of a way to be punished for spying or peeping on your neighbor.
Anyways I want to say I really like the story.
English
Wonderful
Nicely done. I can't wait to read more.
Nice.....
Interesting premise...... I would like to read more.
Implausible and poorly written
Sentence structure was extremely awkward. Punctuation was spotty and in some cases missing altogether. I didn't buy the idea of an 18-year-old accepting being "grounded" for what a 16-year-old sister had done.
In all, pretty lame.
Super Story
Hello - What a hot story ! It certainly made me hard and remember when I saw a real woman for the first time.....Maybe Mary will show him how to screw her tits or do it doggy style ?? Please write the next chapter soon......thank you !!
I just happened on this little gem.
The writing is unique.. not perfect but in a style and humor that is endearing. Were the mistakes deliberate? Probably not, but they help make for a very pleasant and erotic story. Thanks!
Reasonably Probable
This sounds like a true story. It's dated, of course, and most young readers won't get the nostolgia. I like it. On the down side; it's a little wordsy. On the up side; it's clear.
Ooooh Nice!
Ooooh Nice! Good Language, interesting suspense, entertaining, and of course, erotic.
more
that was really hot i can't wait for more
Well
I happened across this submission, found myself reading it, and I have to say, it was very enjoyable. I don't understand the negative comments, I look forward to the next chapter!
Well-written Tale
This could have been in more detail, but a good job
nevertheless.
great story
Too bad for some language errors, but the build-up was very nice. Great story man thanks!
great story, but..........
the story was nice, but for god sakes, learn how to punctuate. learn how to use periods and comas the right way, you made me sick with your blatant mistakes.
grammar goddess
Somebody writes: "learn how to use periods and comas the right way, you made me sick with your blatant mistakes."
Were you in a comma when you wrote this?
Do unto others, Dude.
Nice movie huh?
Hi there,
Wish you lived in Worcester, Mass they had triple deckers, Geeeeze you lucked out dude, hell of a way to be punished for spying or peeping on your neighbor.
Anyways I want to say I really like the story.
not bad at all
what's best about it is that I can believe it really happened...
did it? lol
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