Now I will have to see if you have written others. Another lost morn.
by
06/05/07
Not bad at all.
The elipses were a little annoying. You used way too many of them. And the capitalization in the pronouns was distracting. But your work shows promise.
The story was enjoyable, but the text distracting. Too many elipses and there were no quotation marks to offset the dialog. I think with more practice your work will really shine. ~ Red
English
Very nice erotic sci fi fiction.
Now I will have to see if you have written others. Another lost morn.
Not bad at all.
The elipses were a little annoying. You used way too many of them. And the capitalization in the pronouns was distracting. But your work shows promise.
Thanks
The story was enjoyable, but the text distracting. Too many elipses and there were no quotation marks to offset the dialog. I think with more practice your work will really shine. ~ Red
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