That was very good. Very intense, and kept my attention. Excellent story!
by
Anonymous12/21/07
Crap :(
by
Anonymous01/31/08
none
STUPID,STUPID,STUPID!!! Not worth getting the viberator out.
by
Anonymous03/21/08
she is the boss
the father is a weak slave like me, the daughter is a sexy powerful woman who gets what she wants, when she wants it! just like Alyssa and Taylor
by
Anonymous04/17/08
A man's story, not a female's story
Sounds like daddy didn't know how to lick his wife's clit to give her an orgasm because he did little for Emma. He would have shown her how to suck his cock and he should have licked her clit to orgasm, then fucked. This is not an exciting story for a female. The only realistic thing about this story is why his wife left him for another man. Emma will soon grow tired of his lack of sexual skills as well. This is a well-written story, but I see a lack of sexual knowledge that would make this more exciting and erotic.
by
Anonymous08/01/08
Not bad at all.
Definitely not bad. There were some grammatical and spelling errors, but since there weren't all that many, I let that slide in my rating. There were two main reasons that I didn't give it a perfect 5/5 rating. The first is the part where he was fingering her and made her cum, but then later it seemed like it never happened. That was a bit confusing and broke the "flow" of the story. The other reason is that it felt a bit rushed. You didn't really establish personalities, take the time to set up the scene, etc. I know you weren't trying to make a novel out of this, but a little more effort would make it a 5/5 and a much better read in my opinion. I know that last bit sounded a bit harsh, but I didn't mean it to. I'm only trying to give some constructive criticism to help you along with any future parts of this stories or other future stories you may wish to write.
English
Wow..
Wow!!.. Thank God it's just a story and not real!!. It held my attention so I gave you a five..dan
Emma's lovely
I would love to meet little Emma. She sounds like my kind of young woman, hot and horny.
What a gorgous "cock teaser" you are!
Your story kept me intreagued, as they all have. Don't worry about negative feedback, your mind is fertile, so sow the seeds.
Good good
That was very good. Very intense, and kept my attention. Excellent story!
Crap :(
none
STUPID,STUPID,STUPID!!! Not worth getting the viberator out.
she is the boss
the father is a weak slave like me, the daughter is a sexy powerful woman who gets what she wants, when she wants it! just like Alyssa and Taylor
A man's story, not a female's story
Sounds like daddy didn't know how to lick his wife's clit to give her an orgasm because he did little for Emma. He would have shown her how to suck his cock and he should have licked her clit to orgasm, then fucked. This is not an exciting story for a female. The only realistic thing about this story is why his wife left him for another man. Emma will soon grow tired of his lack of sexual skills as well. This is a well-written story, but I see a lack of sexual knowledge that would make this more exciting and erotic.
Not bad at all.
Definitely not bad. There were some grammatical and spelling errors, but since there weren't all that many, I let that slide in my rating. There were two main reasons that I didn't give it a perfect 5/5 rating. The first is the part where he was fingering her and made her cum, but then later it seemed like it never happened. That was a bit confusing and broke the "flow" of the story. The other reason is that it felt a bit rushed. You didn't really establish personalities, take the time to set up the scene, etc. I know you weren't trying to make a novel out of this, but a little more effort would make it a 5/5 and a much better read in my opinion. I know that last bit sounded a bit harsh, but I didn't mean it to. I'm only trying to give some constructive criticism to help you along with any future parts of this stories or other future stories you may wish to write.
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