Please learn the difference between 'through' and 'threw', and 'fare' and 'fair'. Then pay attention to tenses. You can't write a whole story saying 'I WAS in bed' and 'She WALKED in', then suddenly switch to 'she 'WIPES off' and 'she KISSES me'
But I do have to agree with comment number 1. Unfortunately, these mistakes do distract from the story. It's a shame as you are quite good (so don't give up). My advice is next time, just get someone to proof read your story afterwards.
by
Anonymous07/07/07
Well, you did say you had a fever...
Maybe your writing style was affected by your illness and everything ... LOL.
It is possible that this story could be reworked, as the basic plot does offer a lot of promise.
Author, please take everyone's remarks in stride and soon you will see what makes a storyline acceptable to readers.
English
Editing
Please learn the difference between 'through' and 'threw', and 'fare' and 'fair'. Then pay attention to tenses. You can't write a whole story saying 'I WAS in bed' and 'She WALKED in', then suddenly switch to 'she 'WIPES off' and 'she KISSES me'
Clarification, please
So, were you naked...?
Potentially a good story...
But I do have to agree with comment number 1. Unfortunately, these mistakes do distract from the story. It's a shame as you are quite good (so don't give up). My advice is next time, just get someone to proof read your story afterwards.
Well, you did say you had a fever...
Maybe your writing style was affected by your illness and everything ... LOL.
It is possible that this story could be reworked, as the basic plot does offer a lot of promise.
Author, please take everyone's remarks in stride and soon you will see what makes a storyline acceptable to readers.
Good Luck!
nice
SHE HAS TO BE PREGO PART 2 ON THE ARISEN
Do you have a dictionary?
Look up incest. This ain't it.
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