This is one of the truly better stories I've come across within the last year or so.
It is not that big in ideas, in scope, in plot, what-not. But it has originality in terms of dialogues, in terms of the witty "mind games" you had the two main charaters play. Each one seems to be confident of themselves; but quickly they realize they have little or no control over situations and circumstances.
In "real life" that is truly the case.
If this were real life, BOTH could "report" the other, and depending on who reports whom first, they could get the other into momentary hot water. I imagine if the 18 year old reports his "abuse" to his parents (which is quite an embarrassment and he won't do it), they'd likely side with him and before Mary knew it, she'd be kicked out of her place, unceremoniously.
On the other hand, if Mary reported to the young man's parents ("your son's been violating my privacy... Please, have a conversation with him..." etc --- and she could much more easily do it than he --- he would be in trouble with his parents.
But from the false self-confidence of BOTH characters --- that they have much more control over the situation than perhaps the other --- NEITHER would likely "report" any thing, their pseudo threats and counter-threats to each other notwithstanding.
Why not? Because despite their mental games (and IT IS A MENTAL GAME, at this point: neither has thought long or far enough ahead to think about possible "love") with each other, they BOTH found their UNWITTING relationship highly exciting, highly erotic. To a 18-19 year old young man (and who of us who's not been there there before????! ;o), a mature woman in her late 20 to late 30's are incredibly sexy, sophisticated, and attrative.
To many women in Mary's shoes (age wise as well as circumstance wise), too, I'm sure it is a highly erotic pursuit: a young man who could be intimidated to some degree, but who would RECIPROCATE right back, without blinking so much as an eye.
And, yet, a few minutes later, because deep down he is truly a young man still unsure of his prowess, she could still send him packing back into his place, who, would still manage to excit her by turning around, smiling evil, as if to say, "Don't think you can scare me, Mary. You are not in complete control here... I can and I WILL take you any time I want!"
Anyway, AUTHOR, short point is: It is a very good little mental-play story.
I hope you develop the story as well as the characters in a way that everything --- from encounters to dialogues to wits what-not --- stays original, interesting, erotic, forbidden -------- but NOT something in the nature of, say, "Oh, and then after that, I invited my whole basketball team and we fucked her for 5 day straight and took a whole bunch of pictures, with tons of video footage and we made %40,000 out of it... And, then, guess what, dear readers? My mom joined in and, man, what a blast!" etc. ad nauseam...
Don't go that 5th grade boy fantasy about harems route. Or go in any other route that irredeemably degrades your central characters legally, morally, ethically, and/or publically...
It's the MENTAL GAMES between two people who each perceiving themselves to be in MORE control of the situation than the other, that makes a story interesting, erotic, and original.
Remember, this is not a movie, so we don't see the facial/body expressions that much, or that easily. You have to supply us those details via the VERBAL and wit battles they dish out to each other, IN THEIR OWN PRIVATE world where they and only they belong, but a world that can also easily be exposed, or shattered, with no more than a word or a scream...
My friend and I lived in a major city on the east coast and would climb up and down fire escapes peeping in windows. One night we watched a college coed read a book and when it got to a juicy part, she began masterbating, spotted us and turned so we had a good view and did so many more nights, but never let us in. We jerked of and she whispered her appoval. We had a few more experiences that were great. I enjoyed the story and hope there are more.
by
Anonymous03/16/10
It was good
please do update faster
by
Anonymous04/17/10
Excellent
You did an excellent job on this one...I think I am in love with Mary!
by
Anonymous03/22/12
Needs some proof reading. Lots of punctuation errors which make it hard to read, but very good story.
by
Anonymous11/18/13
Not bad, but...
Your story was good BUT your spelling and grammar were awful. Ruined it. Try getting a proofreader.
English
I have to say....
This is one of the truly better stories I've come across within the last year or so.
It is not that big in ideas, in scope, in plot, what-not. But it has originality in terms of dialogues, in terms of the witty "mind games" you had the two main charaters play. Each one seems to be confident of themselves; but quickly they realize they have little or no control over situations and circumstances.
In "real life" that is truly the case.
If this were real life, BOTH could "report" the other, and depending on who reports whom first, they could get the other into momentary hot water. I imagine if the 18 year old reports his "abuse" to his parents (which is quite an embarrassment and he won't do it), they'd likely side with him and before Mary knew it, she'd be kicked out of her place, unceremoniously.
On the other hand, if Mary reported to the young man's parents ("your son's been violating my privacy... Please, have a conversation with him..." etc --- and she could much more easily do it than he --- he would be in trouble with his parents.
But from the false self-confidence of BOTH characters --- that they have much more control over the situation than perhaps the other --- NEITHER would likely "report" any thing, their pseudo threats and counter-threats to each other notwithstanding.
Why not? Because despite their mental games (and IT IS A MENTAL GAME, at this point: neither has thought long or far enough ahead to think about possible "love") with each other, they BOTH found their UNWITTING relationship highly exciting, highly erotic. To a 18-19 year old young man (and who of us who's not been there there before????! ;o), a mature woman in her late 20 to late 30's are incredibly sexy, sophisticated, and attrative.
To many women in Mary's shoes (age wise as well as circumstance wise), too, I'm sure it is a highly erotic pursuit: a young man who could be intimidated to some degree, but who would RECIPROCATE right back, without blinking so much as an eye.
And, yet, a few minutes later, because deep down he is truly a young man still unsure of his prowess, she could still send him packing back into his place, who, would still manage to excit her by turning around, smiling evil, as if to say, "Don't think you can scare me, Mary. You are not in complete control here... I can and I WILL take you any time I want!"
Anyway, AUTHOR, short point is: It is a very good little mental-play story.
I hope you develop the story as well as the characters in a way that everything --- from encounters to dialogues to wits what-not --- stays original, interesting, erotic, forbidden -------- but NOT something in the nature of, say, "Oh, and then after that, I invited my whole basketball team and we fucked her for 5 day straight and took a whole bunch of pictures, with tons of video footage and we made %40,000 out of it... And, then, guess what, dear readers? My mom joined in and, man, what a blast!" etc. ad nauseam...
Don't go that 5th grade boy fantasy about harems route. Or go in any other route that irredeemably degrades your central characters legally, morally, ethically, and/or publically...
It's the MENTAL GAMES between two people who each perceiving themselves to be in MORE control of the situation than the other, that makes a story interesting, erotic, and original.
Remember, this is not a movie, so we don't see the facial/body expressions that much, or that easily. You have to supply us those details via the VERBAL and wit battles they dish out to each other, IN THEIR OWN PRIVATE world where they and only they belong, but a world that can also easily be exposed, or shattered, with no more than a word or a scream...
great story
One of the best stories here. Very well done.
Teachers should always be older women
My friend and I lived in a major city on the east coast and would climb up and down fire escapes peeping in windows. One night we watched a college coed read a book and when it got to a juicy part, she began masterbating, spotted us and turned so we had a good view and did so many more nights, but never let us in. We jerked of and she whispered her appoval. We had a few more experiences that were great. I enjoyed the story and hope there are more.
It was good
please do update faster
Excellent
You did an excellent job on this one...I think I am in love with Mary!
Needs some proof reading. Lots of punctuation errors which make it hard to read, but very good story.
Not bad, but...
Your story was good BUT your spelling and grammar were awful. Ruined it. Try getting a proofreader.
Can't wait for part 3
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