homeErotic CouplingsA Security Guard's BonusPublic Comments

All Comments  for

A Security Guard's Bonus

byniteowl2003©
All
Comments (1)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/13/07

grammar was stiff

The security guard's grammar was overly formal. Try to write like you speak and it will flow better and it will allow for suspension of disbelief. Instead of "as I do not drink..." say it like, "I'm not a big drinker" or "Thanks, I'll go easy on it." something that fits with how a normal person would speak.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to A Security Guard's Bonus  or
More submissions by niteowl2003.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel