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Intersting
How about both, I think he can handle both with aplomb!
Looking forward to the next episode.
It has potential, but
The start is very confused, but these things can be sorted out. The overall quality of the writing demands a good editor if the author is to pull it off.
Nice!
So Melissa is a consultant and the secretary is Shawn's sister. Just wanted to say that:P. Good start and looking forward for future chapters.
Talents
You obviously are a talented writer. What I am going to be checking is your ability to adequately describe the extremely exquisite sensations each of the sexes experiences during foreplay and coitus.Moat of Literotica,com contributors fail miserably in that deparyment. I often wonder if they sufficient personal experience.
Decent start
The story's hook is meager because you tell us a lot when you should show us. Roy's wimpy because you say so. Fine but the authorship would be better if you showed Roy's wimpiness in words and deeds. Telling us dumbs down the story but showing us makes us pay attention. It improves the narrative drive and keeps us interested.
The company's rife with corruption but has a good reputation in the business world? Doesn't seem plausible but we'll see. The character descriptions were fairly well done, and they seem interesting enough. I look forward to the next chapter.
Looking Forward...
Hey great start. It was sort of confusing but I guess you wanted it that way. I suppose in future chapters you'll reveal things that was confusing in this intro to your series. The characters were well done. It makes you so anxious waiting for Melissa to get fucked :P
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