All Comments on 'Souls'

that went so quickly and jumped around so much i didn't understand what was going on. maybe something to indicate a change in time or a prologue would have helped me keep up.

just glad i didn't like this story alot. it means i don't have to come repeatedly, searching for a story you refuse to complete.

the story jumped from one scene to another without warning, especially at the beginning. the part she saw him with his new wife and then drowned, is one example. do write some more. i'll check in a year's time to see how it continues.

This has the potential to be a great story, as the idea was interesting...but it is VERY confusing... the switch from past to present has no warning or guideline, the reader has no idea whats going on.

A definite revision is needed, the story needs to be flushed out, with the characters given more background and depth in the past to explain what is going on in the future.

When I began reading this story it felt...familiar. Although, I placed it. 'Wild Seed' by Octavia Butler. While I am hesitant because of the similiarities...and even though there was a bit of jumping around...the writting is significantly better than what one usually finds on this site. I will keep reading. EEP.

This is in response to the poster who indicated that this seemed familiar and similar to a work by Octavia Butler, while I have read Ms. Butler's work (albeit only one story) I can say that I've never read the Demon Seed and there is certainly no intent to duplicate, replicate or anything elseplicate someone else's work.

I liked the concept of the story, a little more background would have been nice to explain some things. maybe you can explain more in the updates to follow.

Maybe some back story on this. It's too vague to know who these are but worth continuing...

I was wondering, where did this start, I felt as if the story started in the middle. Please take the time to write it out fully, I can follow the story line a little bit; I need more to go on.....

I like the overall idea. Expand it. More detail, character development, and fixing of the structure would make it a winner! Please continue...:)

Are they demons, angels, vampires or what? Why does the birth of their son bring about the end of time? Please write more!