A Good Plan

payback

They need a little payback

dream on

this jackass acdd123 would just keep posting crap like his fathers asset story that was crap from chapter 1 and just keep pucking up more!

dog shit story

started interestingly enough then broke open to reveal dog shit. please dont write more crap like this. you wasted my time...big time waste

it enough asshole out there,here is another one

it so easy to write some good,but to write ugly crap just to write it,that sucks.what hole did your parent get you from,you wasn't birth.

I'll second and third the motion

You write shit for stories. Matter of fact they aren't even stories. I think that you. the " writer haha" is just trying to bad mouth someone you know in a story and get your rocks, your pathetic little weiner, all two inches, off. That's all I got to say. Your characters aren't good enough to comment on freak.

Age limit

I know all the stories here have a limit of 18 years or older for the characters but should the same age limit not be applied to the authors, no sorry, make that writers, no wrong word again, ah yes, keyboard tappers as well?
This keyboard tapper should at least try to graduate from high school before dazzling us with anymore of his brilliant creations.

My condolences to your teachers.

STOP ! ! ! !

You can stop this before anyonelse reads this. So tright.

?

Don"t quit your day job.

Giant puddle of....

...suck. Gawd, this almost seemed like it had potential, but it petered out prematurely, spewing little dribbles on the page before it could get into real fucking. Hope that doesn't hit too close to home.

Only An Ass Hole

Only an author who is an Ass Hole would wtite a piece of shit like this.Do you enjoy writting a story where nice guys get fucked over by a cheating slut wife and a so called best friend?I see no other reasor for someone to write garbage like this.People who put dowm nice people for no reason have to be sick and should seek help.

New Finish

Malcolm's brother, David, looked thru the sighting device on the RPG at the laughing threesome. Goodbye you sick motherfuckers he thought as the projectile blew the two women and Mark into a million bloody pieces. Happy ending!

You call this shit a story?

I've seen better stories floating in the toilet after a night of hard drinking. The writing was lousy, the plot was predictable and I have to wonder if grade three has been the toughest 12 years of your life. Do us all a favor and never write again...not a paragragh, not a postcard not even the outside of an envelope, nothing at all, ever again because shit like that stinks up the whole site. Shoulda called your story "Asswipe" because all it's good for is wiping shit.
I hope you are getting the message...your story stinks.

You call this shit a story?

I've seen better stories floating in the toilet after a night of hard drinking. The writing was lousy, the plot was predictable and I have to wonder if grade three has been the toughest 12 years of your life. Do us all a favor and never write again...not a paragragh, not a postcard not even the outside of an envelope, nothing at all, ever again because shit like that stinks up the whole site. Shoulda called your story "Asswipe" because all it's good for is wiping shit.
I hope you are getting the message...your story stinks.

Acdd123, simply put, you are a loser.

Pls stop posting

This really is embarrassing

I'd like to give this a big fat 0, but even this deserves something. The entire storyline had possibilities, but there was no real good character development, plot. Too short, too predictable and just too ridiculously written. Poorly structured -- needs lots of help. Try again or quit writing.

Nope - It Gets A Big Fat Zero

...because it isn't worth anything more.

It looks like it should

be in the Humour section but that would
reduce the impact. I really do not understand
these negative comments. It is a fun story!
With a tongue in cheek!

I wonder...

What kind of person posts stories like this, where the person is cuckolded by a best friend/father with a HUGE dick? I would guess first that the author has very little imagination, hence the same story line time after time after time.... Second, the author probably associates with the cuckoldee rather than the cuckolder, that is woefully inadequate with delusions of grandeur. Do the world a favor and go gently into that good night. The world would be a better place not being tainted by any more of the author's shit.

I hope to hell is part 1!

Gonna be pissed if it end like this.

Needs a little work

Needs to be a little more detail. To answer a question by one of the other commentors, good people get fucked over because they are so easy.

similar story

Its the same kind of story that was written except the other one was with a Father and his son his father had a big cock and every wife or girl friend the son met or had was taken from him by his dad so there pretty similiar in context.

Broken hubby needs to get his life on track!

There is an excellent ending for stories like this in Lit. It "Yesterday's Gone". The author needs to rethink the husbands reactions and plan a second chapter with a more fitting end for everyone! After all if a man is broken exactly what does he have to lsoe.............

nope

sorry I couldn't rate less than a 00000000000000

dog vomit

someone will eat it

malcome was not that stupid ...any money they g

OT WOULD BE A PISS IN THE PAN WHEN A MAN LIKE THA TGETS MONEY BELIEVE ME HE GUARDS IT AND IF THEY GOT ANYTHING HELL STILL BE SITTING ON THE SIDELINES LAUGHING WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE ..HAVE TO SAY A PISS POOR STORY

NOT a good plan

this "plan" is filled with such big holes even a whale would escape through it! An ill reputed man shows up shortly after a rich man get robbed off his all his property and what's in it for Brenda? And her husband suspects nothing? And who likes nasty characters to begin with?

One of the poorest stories on the site . . .

The story needs no other comments; it's not worth it.

suggestion

it surely doesn' take so many months to write a "revenge" part for such a thin story.

What a pleasant surprise

What a pleasant surprise, an author that's even worse than Samual X. I really did not think that there could be a worse author but you beat him hands down.
All hail the worst of the worst

self hurt is sick in some writers

when these writers write bullshit,this how you comment.

good story

we would all love to hurt ass w/o a name

When all but the insane dont like your story you

can assume you really some practical lessons in writing and conceptual development. Women such as described in this story have very short life expectancies as they always seem to be accident prone. No man would let a slut run off and take his money, some overgrown boys might, but no men.

I don't think so

If malcolm was smart enough to have gotten it in the first place, he would not have just given it after a (setup) daliance. And she was no quite so sheltered, and her act worked, that would not completely surprise me. For the scam to work, he had to be completely stupid, and was not. AS for mark, jenny and brenda would probably be discarded eventually, so the key is the control of the money. despicable people and story.

Unbeliveable

Pure unbelieveable crap

Story is mostly a comment of author's self esteem.

It's very sad to see guys write this kind of stupid story. If you don't feel good about yourself, start doing positive things to raise your self image, not go for the gutter to wallow among the pigs.

CRAP...

One word says it all...

Total miss

Maybe you should try Other categories ???? Keep writing though only with practice can we expect to improve

"I didn't know what an orgasm was until two weeks ago"...
"I met him before and we fucked like rabbits"

What brilliant writing shithead!!!

i gave it a one because you cant go any lower

it shoud say huge dick head writer as a tag for the story

Only useful as tinder for flaming.

Wanted to see what you had. Incredibly disappointed. Story without merit.

PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!

I Am Forced to Believe

I am forced to believe that any male who writes or enjoys a story like this must be a pathetic little man who is lucky to get a woman by paying them. Such a man lives in a dream world where they are the Mark's of these stories and can strike back at the world for their pathetic little existence.

What else could one possibly think considering a story like this?

Ahhh...

From your writing style, I know who you are in real life.

First name 'Fuck', last name 'Wit'

Mother Fucker

Mother fucker cock sucker cheating whore skank slut cunt. What's scary is that there are people like this that exist in the world.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Prenuptial Agreement?

Old 2000 years genre the peak of this sort of stories was at Bocaccio's Decameron in the XIV Century. Are not there PRENUPTIAL AGREEMANT IN THE SCOTTISH LAW????????????????????? or Malcolm was extra stupid dumb ass husband.

turncoat

fat cock gets smoked, meaty cock buggered a bunghole, betrayed!

Interesting

I always had a respectful opinions of scotsmen. Pity to know they are such fools. Still, she was part Spanish so he was out of his league.

GOOD PLANS MADE IN BAD FAITH

have a tendency to bite back, if a clan can rally, TK U MLJ LV NV

hope he finds out the fuck slut whore

then kills all three of them....

So implausible

It was just silly. I gave you a -1.