All Comments on 'Bad Girl Ch. 01'

Read your story before submitting it. There are far too many errors in this piece.

It was a good start; keep it going and re-read it before submitting it so that the grammar and spelling hounds don't start barking. Who cares how many others have written stories that sound similar, this is your piece and you are taking it in the direction you want. Whether you have Kim and Sara have a slumber party with the rest of the neighborhood girls or you have them deliberately get pregnant and give "Daddy" a harem, it is your story; do with it what you please.

Your off to a good start. I surely dont care if there 10,000 some what similar to yours. But a little variation would be nice too.

practice will better. Keep writing and continue the story. A thresome with Kimi's girl friend, other class mates, neighbors. There is some very good potential here.

Oh god, I can't wait for you're next chapter to this story, it's so exciting to read!