All Comments on 'Back to Bristol Ch. 01'

by GaryAPB

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  • 57 Comments
Average-JoeAverage-Joeover 16 years ago
Glad to see your name

in the new stories list. I have really enjoyed all your other stories so Im sure this will be no exception. I would also like to thank you for letting us know the story isnt going to be arriving all at once. The more I like a story, the more frustrating I find multiple chapters so Im choosing to wait until all parts are up before reading any of it (yes the 100% is based on good faith and not on actually having read this part :). Now I just have to avoid the feedback portal in case I accidentally read something that gives the story away.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Great

Glad to see another story by you. I look forward to reading more.

Boyd

bruce22bruce22over 16 years ago
Great Start

of a story that I will follow with great interest.

I was just wondering when you come out with a new

story. You know it does sound as if the hero forced

that divorce without her wanting it. I do not get the

feeling that he ever listened to her after the first

declaration.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Sometimes

The quotes from the bible have me very curious. I keep searching for a hidden message - so here I am wondering if the boss has another purpose to bring him home.

What I can't understand is why didn't he fight for his family. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Was she really in love or was being set up by a slick predator? Was it just an infatuation? If he loved her and he wanted to keep his family together why did he immediately set up the wheels for the divorce without giving her a chance to use her brain? I didn't find it noble that he didn't fight for his family just for some kind of romantic notion that if she was in love there was nothing else to say or do. She had been in love with him. You just don't fall out of love just like that. She had to have had feelings for him! They had been a good marriage in and out of the bedroom - and they had two children who needed and loved them. For all we know she was just totally confused. So the question is would he have been able to forgive her infidelity if he'd decided to "court" her back or was that same infidelity the reason why he gave in so easily?

I love an emotional story, so I am waiting for the emotions to pour in because until now this story was dry, based only on backstory and I'm missing the emotional content. But then again, that might be just that stiff "Brit" upper lip.

waratahwaratahover 16 years ago
Wonderful pace and style

Really enjoyed your story so far. It looks like being a good one.

bornagainbornagainover 16 years ago
Is this the end ?

I hope there is more chapters to this storyand what happened to Myra Hepsted will she be making her appearence to the story and will Chris Bennett be getting even with the bastard that took his wife away from him and another in Europe the speed markers are in KPH not mph thats in United States speed limitsI will waiting to read more chapters of your story.

Pat

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
As usual, Excellent writing

What can I say, when are going to publish your first book? I will be very interested to see how the story develops

JennyBearJennyBearover 16 years ago
Anxiously waiting in Colorado

Great start, this is the first submission of yours that I have read. It is very well written. I am anxiously waiting for the next chapters. Thank you

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
good start

i like it so far.

im not going to guess what's next. but i do hope that the next chapter would be out soon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Ex cellent, excellent, excellent

Excellent writing, excellent development, excellent characters. I am anxious to read more, and hope to learn more about the main character and how he ended up where is, as well as where is going.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Good story but we all KNOW where this is headed

GarryAPB stories are alwasy great great reads. But kest face it... he hasa bias to reconcile at all costs

All this happened 4 years ago... yet we know what is going happen... he will run into Molly.... he will fIND out MOLLY divorced the other guy.... she is going to say SORRY you over reacted to me fucking another man and falling in love with him... can we get back together.... cant we talk ? then is He is going to think about taking her back--

seriously think about

angiquesophieangiquesophieover 16 years ago
great start

wonderful read. cant wait.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
This is a great story, but a couple of concerns

The author seems to be leading us readers to the conclusion that the husband was somewhat at fault for the breakdown. She cheated on her husband, but did she try to make amends for it? Why did she tell her husband that she cheated on him and more importantly, why did she cheat on him. It is said that women need a reason to have sex and that men don't need a reason...we just need a place, so what was her reason.

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 16 years ago
Exquisite opening

The author's demonstrated flair for painting wonderful background scenes through which his characters move is evident in this opening chapter. The scenery is rich, delightfully detailed and it enriches the experience. His characterizations are exquisite: the CEO with the quirk of quoting arcane Biblical scripture in meetings, the once-trampled, now gunshy main character whose bitterness at the path of his life still hurts deep inside, and the good friend whose own tragedy makes him empathetic. These are finely drawn people who face the hurts and anguish of life with strength and integrity. They're likeable and it makes me hunger for more.

<P>

The author's skill at writing prose is consummate. His sentences flow smoothly together and, while the vernacular is 21st century England, even an old farm boy from Texas kens the nuances because the context is so clear. It's outstanding authorship. The fine prose and intricate weaving of the backstory creates tremendous narrative drive, and you find yourself pulled along at a fast clip, anxious to see what lies ahead, and desirous of more when the end of the chapter arrives.

<P>

Please don't make us wait too long for the next installment, for we are but mere mortals. :)

ed1ed1over 16 years ago
Excellent!!!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Only In Romance Novels

I feel led to what isn't going to be there but I'm sure it will be interesting given the strong talent of the Author.<P>

On Hammering Harry and other comments about feudal conversations between 2 combatants: Rational people don't fuck around on their spouse nor are either party kindly solicitous during the first awareness confrontation / battle.<P>

She had ample opportunity to bring up a want for reconciliation but only said she cared for her lover deeply, then continued to see him the following Wednesday and Friday. The kick off was that she openly compared her lover to her cuck. Please try to remember all these things that made it worse for him as this story progresses.<P>

These insults piled up her disrespect to an insurmountable level for any man to even want to climb - in my opinion - having been there in real life.<P>

In view of that, an "at all costs" reconciliation would be a very difficult sell for me as she has selfishly ruined a good part of his life, his children's life and each's future life.<P>

Having said all that - lead on Author to the path you have chosen.<P>

With Very High Regard [so far]

DesertPirateDesertPirateover 16 years ago
Interesting

This chapter almost asks more questions than it answers. That is one way to get everyone to read the next one! Very well done, I can't wait to see where you take us with this one.

ohioohioover 16 years ago
Such a great beginning

Thoughtful, detailed, and rich. Just like Gary's previous work. I look forward to the unfolding of this story with great eagerness. __________________________________________________________

I do share the feeling of other readers, that Chris seems to have rushed out of his marriage without fully exploring what Molly was up to with her lover. Did she really want a divorce? More was obviously going on than we have been told so far, and the couple's communication was rather lacking....

ohio

Use1ceOnlyUse1ceOnlyover 16 years ago
In Europe?

The UK of which England is the largest part is a member of the European Union but it is far from being in Europe. Geographically it's an off shore island. Mentally it is closer to the rest of the English speaking world than to any European nation. We often holiday in Europe. For a lot of purposes we've adopted the very sensible metric system but there seems no point in the expense of changing road and traffic management to kilometres.

Nicholls9Nicholls9over 16 years ago
Glad to see another story from GaryAPB

In case other readers missed it, one of the story tags at the bottom of the last page of these chapters is "reconciliation". I just hope the reconciliation is better in this story than Tim's and Beth's in "TGI Chronicles". In that story, I felt Tim and Beth would have been better off divorcing. Tim got badgered into taking Beth back by all his so-called "friends", and he eventually concluded that he could not live without her. At least in "Back to Bristol", Chris and Molly have children to raise together. Gary is a skillful enough writer that he could find a plausible way to bring them back together. And I look forward to reading it.

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanover 16 years ago
Per Ohio's Observations...

""" I do share the feeling of other readers, that Chris seems to have rushed out of his marriage without fully exploring what Molly was up to with her lover. Did she really want a divorce? """ <p>

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <p>

[[[Note for the deep thinkers: We all know these are JUST stories; don't remind us of that reality. We are simply here to talk about, and rant over, well developed characters by authors, some of whom are good and some of whom are bad ... charcters, I mean, not authors!]]] <p>

[[[Trying to being extremely subtly facetious remarks]]] <p>

No, dear Ohio, Chris certainly did not wait around long enough to explore all those possible angles: --- that is, whether Molly was just fucking around, or that she intended to REALLY, REALLY seek "greener pastures" on the other side of the fence. <p>

What a complete idiot, to have left her NO CHOICE but to go on fucking and marrying that guy Davies, sure! LOL <p>

[[[ Serious tone from here on down... ;o) ]]] <p>

I mean, really, what should a self-respecting, strong, honourable, decent, smart, hard working guy, and trusting and faithful man ---- who even regrets that he spent so much working to build a life for his most beloved wife and children that he did not have as much time with them, as he wished --- do when the one person he loved more than any thing in the world came and told him that she's been, for close to a year, dating a man from work and for the last a couple recent months been fucking him, and THAT guy's really "not like that" [that is, he's really nice and didn't mean to ruin her and Chris's marriage; "it just happened, we didn't mean to fall in love"]? <p>

Wait longer and ask her if this was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY what she wanted? To make sure if she's not just playing some kind of a hard-to-decide game of...: <p>

"Hmmm, this is a hard decision: stay with my loving, hard working, and faithful husband, with whom I've already have two wonderful little sons?, OR go on fucking this wonderful doctor boyfriend of whom I've recently started fucking and IS FALLING DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH?"???? <p>

I mean, what are you really saying, Ohio? <p>

You are talking about a MARRIED woman CHARACTER who --- with 2 wonderful, small, and helpless sons around 2 and 3 --- started lunching with a man/doctor from work, who went on to feel deep appreciation and love for, and who finally, after close to a year of TIME INVESTMENT with that man, started having INTIMATE bodily fluid exchange with [call it love if you want; or call it "just sex, it's really you I love"]....... <p>

Again.... Wait perchance she DID NOT KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING?, that her feelings for the other man were NOT as strong as her feelings for YOU? <p>

But we are NOT talking about a really great, intelligent, and honest GIRL friend, A POTENTIAL LIFE MATE, whom you are fighting hard to win over, because there's also another guy fighting equally hard for her heart, and from the BOTH of you, she's the ONE you want to spend the rest of your life with............ <p>

Nor, are we talking about a woman/wife/husband who readily admits to having done something terrible to her/his spouse and is truly regretful about it..... <p>

Instead, we are talking about THAT POSSIBLE LIFE MATE WHOM YOU ALREADY MARRIED, who already had two sons with you, WHO WAS NOW TELLING YOU that --- AS MUCH AS SHE LOVED YOU and your live together and respecting you and all that --- that she's been dating a man from work, has been fucking him, and WAS HAVING VERY DEEP LOVING FEELINGS for him.... <p>

Why would her decision this time --- let's say you waited and she AGAIN CHOSE YOU, this time, between you and that guy from work she, for sometime, was having deep feelings for and has been fucking around with --- to, say, choose you PRECLUDE her from seeing another man, in some future time, and, in that time choosing, THAT OTHER GUY instead, because FRANKLY from her caculating mind, THIS THIRD TIME he's a few inches taller/shorter, with a better senes of humor, a sharper wit, and could quote Shakespeare better than either you OR that first doctor guy she fucked with? <p>

Sure, there's "no guarantee's" in life, true enough. And cheating goes on all the time. <p>

But we are ALSO NOT talking about a loving, faithful, trustworthy, and honest life mate here who ---- although she could cheat [all of us could, by the way, for the slower folks] --- would RATHER cut her arms out before she would do it, because the life AND LOVE she has spent years building with you are JUST NOT WORTH throwing away, even if some dashing guy promises to be 10 times more loving and romantic than her husband, is it? <p>

So, again and again, why should Chris in this little story [and, yes, to the really deep thinkers: we know this is justa story!] --- and in extrapolative generality, why ANY ONE in such a situation --- wait for such a woman character to, AGAIN, make up her mind whether it's really you [her husband the the father of her sons] or the other fellow [the one other man she's also "having deep feelings for]" and with whom she's been fucking, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with..?? <p>

That, of course, does not mean you should not love your wife or husband, everyday bringing them small flowers, once you've "won" the competition and have married them, no! So, please, don't use red herrings and other diversionary tactics. Red herrings don't make good arguments.... <p>

The CRUX of the story is about betrayal and disrespect.... It's not about loving or not loving someone all the time, especially the parent of your children, as we should always do, ONCE we commit to them, to a life together, and started having children..........

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Not a very likable guy

Like most readers, i'm a fan of yours but this chapter portrays Chris as a rather sanctimonious guy, who acts like he doesn't really give a damn whether Molly leaves him or not. He is ideal husband , per plot, and she is a loving wife who, for some inexplicable reaon, starts playing around with co-worker. When she admits it , he starts divorce action without even the stereotypical "why". The whole interaction is too casual. I hope in future chapters you develop some back-ground explaining what happened and why.

60 year old George

peggytwittypeggytwittyover 16 years ago
great start of a story

Wonderful interesting writing has drawn my attention and appetite.<P>

I have a lot of reading to catch-up with this story and I am looking forward to it. Great entertainment so far, Thank you!<P>PT

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Great start!

22 chapters that's a bit, I won't comment further until I have read them all.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Nice Beginning

nice Beginning. Looking forward to read the series.

You have got great writing style. But you might ask an editor to read it to correct a few mistakes which I'm sure are only typing error or overlooks.

CarlosCCarlosCover 13 years ago
Good start

I'm not into long multi-part story, but you have gotten so much airplay lately I had too take a look see. I will continue without a doubt.

devildog26devildog26over 13 years ago
Willing Suspension of Disbelief

An effective fiction writer asks the reader to suspend disbelief and become immersed in the depth and breathe of the tale. You managed that quite well with this chapter. Am looking forward to seeing what happens to Molly and to Peter as well as Chris.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Devildog, are all your comments as idiotic as this one??

I just like to know, for my peace of mind.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Just another selfish Cheating heartless Cunt wife story

Enough with the lets defend the heartless cheating Cunt because her husband was so insensitive to her. That is Bullshit! If you have half a brain you will realize that he was just a means to an end for her and that she found someone who she thinks in her selfish greedy little cunt mind is better so she replaces him. End of Story! He is obviously a wimp coward who just runs away. If he were a real man, Not many in the UK these days. He would have made them both pay after being stabbed in the heart by his CUNT wife. The selfish cunt takes all his hard work trying to provide for his family and the cunt just gives it all to this other cunt Peter. He should have killed this piece of shit. But being a little coward he just runs away. Pathetic! The other 20+ chapters just try to justify him being a worthless little faggot. But all the cowards on this site love it when the husband is a cock sucking little faggot. Pahetic!

PolyLvrPolyLvrover 10 years ago
GOOD STORY, so far

I have to laugh about the last 'Noni. Seriously, get a grip.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

The circumstances: Delusional cunt wife lets herself get chatted up and quickly gets a fuck from the bachelor. The husband, rightly sensing something wrong, wheedles it out of her one night. Instead of taking any sane and manly action he slithers into a slimy place and throws in the towel on his marriage.

A possible explanation for the dissonance that the husband's surrender creates in a right thinking mind is that something cultural or spiritual in his makeup accounts for his arbitrary acceptance of the destruction of his marriage. Yes, her infidelity might or might not be unforgivable. But to just lie down and die while your marriage and your children are fed to the wolves is insanity. It's all put forth so blithely, like an afterthought.

So, to start, there is definitely something wrong in the explanation given for a destroyed marriage and the reader is asked to accept it.

On the one hand you will have a practical man that knows his woman is simply confused. She has been the subject of a keen predation, no doubt about it. A woman, a wife and mother of two God-given children does not dump all that she and her husband hold dear and jump into another emotional and sexual world for no bloody reason - and it is admitted that there is no satisfying reason that was ever given for the "transfer of affection". The quantity of sheer derangement necessary to account for her behavior simply has no unit of measurement.

A practical man absolutely knows in this case that his wife has been insidiously drawn from her rightful domain by a snide and thoughtless predator. He knows that once a predator has a woman's pussy responding to his ministrations that she is well down the road to the slaughterhouse - he will have her in his bed in no time flat unless someone is to talk some sense into her head.

But on the other hand you have our protagonist here in this epic yarn. What does he do? Does he shake her up a bit? Does he provide some context for her? Does he right himself and stand firm and demand that she face exactly what all of this means - her trysting, her utter capitulation to the wiles of her predator, her wholesale rocketing into a starkly divergent trajectory for the entire life of her family, not to mention the harbinger of her future relationship to her precious boys: her mistreatment of them and the obvious destabilization that they were experiencing...?

Does our protagonist do anything that a sensible man, a man with two balls between his legs would do? No, he does not. He cowers. He simpers. He weeps. He hears no clarion call sounding in his mind. Instead he starts fabricating a maddening tangle of abstractions. Does she love him? Why even ask, you moron? It's so infuriating to hear how he slouched away like a slug into the tall grass. Indeed, a slug would seem to be a noble creature compared to our protagonist.

Anyway, the writing is skilled. The pace is breezy. There is plenty to appreciate. But something has to account for the fact that our author finds the despicable, weak minded, thoughtless, self-absorbed, and passive-aggressive behavior of the husband to be almost an afterthought in the horrible ruins of a christian marriage.

Can a satisfying story be built on this foundation? Can the reader suspend disbelief long enough for this insanity to abate? One can only hope.

But make no mistake about it: this husband withered like a picked flower and let another man destroy his marriage while he sat by wallowing in his abstractions, simpering and twiddling his thumbs.

The infidelity is on the wife, but the ruined marriage is on the husband.

I will give the author another chapter or two to redeem himself.

- Cowboy

xtchrxtchralmost 8 years ago
Why!

Why is everybody jumping on the husband. His wife cheats on him and tells him that "she had 'deep feelings' for him" (the other cheater NOT the husband). What are you supposed to do? Say that's OK, it must have been my fault???? The husband did nothing wrong! The only thing that I can fault the husband for is not being in his kids lives as much as he could have. Can't wait to read the rest of the story.

silentsoundsilentsoundover 7 years ago
Great writing

Stupid cheating cunt.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

Long winded repetitive bullshit. What kind of father doesn't see his sons in 5 months, only sends xmas cards??? Not surprised the bitch cheated.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Great writing, compelling story line...

Don't know how anyone could be down on the husband. Wife falls in love with another guy, she's already sleeping with him - any sane man would have left. Hell, she slept with her lover twice after she told her husband about the affair! She wasn't going to stop, she felt guilty about her husband's feelings I guess, but apparently felt no shame about sleeping with her lover. Screw her and the bastard she rode in on.

Also, as the husband describes his marriage and efforts he made to keep it strong - he did everything a man can do. He brought her gifts for no particular reason, ate breakfast with the family every day, dinner with his wife every night, sex 2 or 3 nights a week, and no office work on weekends. What more could she ask for? Bitch!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
WORDY

Too much description of food menus, scenery, where I walked today,.what I did next. And too little furthering of the plot. But writer has painted Chris as a sensitive, responsible guy, blindsided by a woman who should have appreciated her family and secure place in life. So I'll persevere, trying to scan-read some of the filler to find out what happens to him.

Paul in Oklahoma

LTtheOneLTtheOneover 5 years ago
jeez! very visceral...the emotional journey from emotional cuckold to compersion.. the character Ralph had it right when it might be the hardest thing a man can do.

done

darthdaxdarthdaxabout 5 years ago
Wordy? Pffft!!

Man I really like it so far. I personally enjoy the descriptive sensory you've injected. It helps me get more into it and identify with the situation as a whole. When a writer does that and i think back on the story its not like it was a story i read, it plays thruogh my mind like a movie and not just blunt things that happened. If that makes any sense. Thanks for writing!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Second reading. Great story but annoying parts 5*

He immediately made the assumption that she 'loved' her boyfriend but she never said it.

I find it hard to believe that a go getting executive would be so defeatist from the get go and almost wishing the two cheaters the best because they 'lurved ' each other.

The theme continues throughout where he makes assumptions with flimsy evidence. Again he is not the sort of person to do that if he was a successful executive.

Artie88Artie88almost 4 years ago
Very very good

Character development underway. Job and company seem somewhat dodgy.

He is not faultless, but he is a good man from we can see.

Mysteries abound about the wife and her affair.

Lots to look forward to

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
Quitr well done

Interesting, complicated plot and fine character development. The "Global Warming" comment was gratutious, though. 5

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
So Far...

Eh?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Well written, I've spent the past few days in isolation reading the whole series. One little mistake that most would not pick up, it is South Australia, not Southern Australia how do I know? It's where I have lived in various rural towns and Adelaide suburbs my whol life

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You have way too much time on your hands. Get a life

Hiker66BikerHiker66Bikerabout 2 years ago

This review covers all 22 chapters. I could not put this story down despite the length. It is very well written. The story is complex and the character development first rate. In addition there are no continuity errors, which is a formidable achievement considering the length, and very few typos. 5 stars and added to my favourites.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

3 pages of nothing. Won't be continuing. 1*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Found the first chapter an interesting exposition on the characters personalities, interests and backgrounds. Will read on. 5 out of 5.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Not much of a father. Got a one bedroom.

Consumed with work and family second or third

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This has been published on Amazon. It's wordy needed an edit very badly before it was published in book form. A long slog, and the poor wife cries like 8,000 times in the bloody book.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 1 year ago

3 pages of the usual drivel except for his FWB girl in Holland that he just dumps. I certainly won't be reading the rest of it.

oldtwitoldtwitabout 1 year ago

I’m liking this, nicely being set up story, so far good character background

Ocker53Ocker5311 months ago

So far so good, keeping me interested ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ZackStevensZackStevens6 months ago

This is a long series, but it's worth the ride. I especially love how Bristol UK is a major character. I've never been there (though I've been to Cornwall), but now I have to go!

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Just don't like a cheater.

HighBrowHighBrow3 months ago

It’s interesting and readable, but there seems to be an awful lot of non-plot stuff in there as there are in many if not most amateur works.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

An enjoyable story, unlike the silly comments of some. Lets see where you take us.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

Might be a good story i wont know as im stopping reading it

I like the Authors style, but most of the 'padding' is irelivant as it goes to far away for to many paragraphs from the core of the story

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