by tungtied2u
this verse:
"the repetition of reality
moments once realized, now a shadow
which exist only with moonlight
three glasses of wine and want"
I know exactly how that feels.
The last verse is the strongest as far as emotional content, and ties it up nicely.
A few different word choices would strengthen it up immensely.
Don't abandon this one.
Thanks for the read
Tender and wistful with some well chosen phrases all bound together smoothly. I like.
Tess
Hey! I like a lot of this, but it feels like it needs a little more work, maybe a few changes. At first I didn't like candelabras in this poem. It seemed like a fat ass on a skinny woman, but you may like that sort of thing. I guess it works okay, though. Anyway, thanks for the read. :)