about a 'man's problem' that I'm sure will be expanded on further in following chapters. I liked the story and the plot but if I may I would like to suggest the following before you submit the next version: Try to read over the story 3 times on different days. That way, with a clear mind you would probably find most or all of the small errors.
by
Anonymous08/05/07
Helping toys
nice start, would be fun if you can have the mother's character arch be that she goes from hating helping her son to loving it, maybe even to the point she goes out and get toys to help out.
I am working with an editor for chap 2. Sorry about the errors in part one. This is my first story ever. I plan on ending this series at chapter 6... chapt 2 is on its way.... and chapter 3 is in the making.. chap3 is when things start heating up....
by
Anonymous08/05/07
SHAGGING
This lecherous mom needs a good shagging,which I am sure you have in mind.Dont take any notice of the detractors ,they seem to get a perverse delight from knocking every new author.I feel quite sorry for them a good w------ is much more fun for male or female.
by
Anonymous08/05/07
TOYS?
What sort of toys,he doesnt need toys he has his hands full or rather she has as it is.
by
Anonymous08/05/07
not really original
idea looks copied from from one of the stories here.
"Measuring my cum" is the story you are probably refering to... which is a pretty good story... but is totally diffrent than the one I am writing. Read both and judge for yourself
by
Anonymous08/06/07
Keep going
I can see where the story is going and I'm sure it will be exciting when it gets there. For me, however, the mother's disgust (real or pretence) is offputting. Better to have her embarrassed and reluctant than abusive. But keep going, I'm sure it will be worth it.
by
Anonymous08/06/07
This Is A Fake-Copy
You took this stroy-changed a few words called it yours.
by
Anonymous08/06/07
good
yeah its like that other story, but im liking the male anal aspect a lot .... mmmm .... lots of good milking possibilites here! more plz!
by
Anonymous08/07/07
Very interesting.
This submission is almost verbatim for another authors works,there is a saying that if you associate with dogs or for that matter pigs,then soon you will smell like them?
Post up the link of the story that is copied Verbatim... and post it without being anonymous... If you check this forum,I stated that this story was inspired by the story "measuring my Cum"
You have your little catch phrases ... about lying with dogs..I have one too
Once a coward, always a coward
by
Anonymous08/08/07
PIGS
Miss Piggy I assume sleeps with pigs as well as Kermit,whats wrong with that?
by
Anonymous08/08/07
Pratt
I said almost verbatim,no the story I am referring to is not called Measuring My Cum as you suggested to another reader.The story I am referring to is about a mother who is advised by her sons doctor to get sperm samples because his sperm count is so high,you can imagine the rest,before you call someone a coward make sure you are qualified and old enough to do so.Iwould suggest for the time being you get on with this story.LOOK AT THE RATING I GAVE YOU THIS TIME feel better.
A Great story but you have one word to many in a sentence
she never really seen her seated this way before. i think you started to say (saw her seated that way)but find an editor to spot check your spelling and editing it will help in the story.
Pat
English
Errors in first sentence? For shame!
Poor capitalization and punctuation... in the first sentence? Tsk tsk... and your story sounded interesting too....
NEVER MIND
You can easily correct any errors,you are off to an explosive start.
Great
Great start eagerly awaiting the rest
good start, but...
Off to a good start, but use a proof reader. I am looking forward to the rest of the story.
Very interesting story...
about a 'man's problem' that I'm sure will be expanded on further in following chapters. I liked the story and the plot but if I may I would like to suggest the following before you submit the next version: Try to read over the story 3 times on different days. That way, with a clear mind you would probably find most or all of the small errors.
Helping toys
nice start, would be fun if you can have the mother's character arch be that she goes from hating helping her son to loving it, maybe even to the point she goes out and get toys to help out.
Thanks for comments!
I am working with an editor for chap 2. Sorry about the errors in part one. This is my first story ever. I plan on ending this series at chapter 6... chapt 2 is on its way.... and chapter 3 is in the making.. chap3 is when things start heating up....
SHAGGING
This lecherous mom needs a good shagging,which I am sure you have in mind.Dont take any notice of the detractors ,they seem to get a perverse delight from knocking every new author.I feel quite sorry for them a good w------ is much more fun for male or female.
TOYS?
What sort of toys,he doesnt need toys he has his hands full or rather she has as it is.
not really original
idea looks copied from from one of the stories here.
COPPIED?
"Measuring my cum" is the story you are probably refering to... which is a pretty good story... but is totally diffrent than the one I am writing. Read both and judge for yourself
Keep going
I can see where the story is going and I'm sure it will be exciting when it gets there. For me, however, the mother's disgust (real or pretence) is offputting. Better to have her embarrassed and reluctant than abusive. But keep going, I'm sure it will be worth it.
This Is A Fake-Copy
You took this stroy-changed a few words called it yours.
good
yeah its like that other story, but im liking the male anal aspect a lot .... mmmm .... lots of good milking possibilites here! more plz!
Very interesting.
This submission is almost verbatim for another authors works,there is a saying that if you associate with dogs or for that matter pigs,then soon you will smell like them?
Verbatim????
Post up the link of the story that is copied Verbatim... and post it without being anonymous... If you check this forum,I stated that this story was inspired by the story "measuring my Cum"
You have your little catch phrases ... about lying with dogs..I have one too
Once a coward, always a coward
PIGS
Miss Piggy I assume sleeps with pigs as well as Kermit,whats wrong with that?
Pratt
I said almost verbatim,no the story I am referring to is not called Measuring My Cum as you suggested to another reader.The story I am referring to is about a mother who is advised by her sons doctor to get sperm samples because his sperm count is so high,you can imagine the rest,before you call someone a coward make sure you are qualified and old enough to do so.Iwould suggest for the time being you get on with this story.LOOK AT THE RATING I GAVE YOU THIS TIME feel better.
A Great Story
A Great story but you have one word to many in a sentence
she never really seen her seated this way before. i think you started to say (saw her seated that way)but find an editor to spot check your spelling and editing it will help in the story.
Pat
meh
nothing yet. no suggestion for the future.
Interesting
Interesting premise to say the least. But it looks predictable so far.
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