Of course he has a ten inch cock and six pack abs and his mom has 40D tits.
by
Anonymous08/03/07
Don't give up your day job!
Why bother writing a story at all? Within the first 8 paragaraphs, you have him banging his mother. If you are foolish enough to attempt to write another so called story, try taking a creative writing class first!
by
Anonymous08/03/07
Potential wasted
The story had potential, but failed. First, you need to get an editor as you shifted tense so often it was a difficult read. Build some drama...more detail would help.
by
Anonymous08/03/07
I know
I know you can do better,concentrate on what you are writing,never mind what other authors are doing.Yes I have been watching your activities ?
by
Anonymous08/03/07
We all need.
We all need our mother ,we might also need Princess of Sex if she would only sort herself out or is it himself?
by
Anonymous08/03/07
MORE TIME
Come on you are on the right track,put more detail in the sex act itself,draw it out more.Make sure that the sons penis is hard against his mothers cervix as he comes,also make it an act of love not lust,also mention the sounds both verbal and otherwise of intercourse.Ireally must stop writing this turning myself on.Whatever you do do not stop writing
by
Anonymous08/03/07
tense
please get your stories proof-read. tenses all wrong.
by
Anonymous08/03/07
What he said........
"We all need our mother ,we might also need Princess of Sex if she would only sort herself out or is it himself?"
I thought the same thing. Princess? Maybe confused about her/his gender.
Anyway, the story is limp, lame and a few other things. Hot (HAWT?) it ain't.
BTW, learn the difference between to, two and too while you review tenses.
Oh, and practice the following.
"Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?"
by
Anonymous08/03/07
Yaaaawn!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwn......... Wow, this story was boring!
by
Anonymous08/03/07
Rubbish
What a waste of a load of print!
by
Anonymous08/03/07
Are you a hish school graduate??
If you graduated from HS, you must have skipped English classes. You shouldn't need an editor for your mistakes; you should have found them yourself.
by
Anonymous08/04/07
Lame reviewers
So not perfect but unless some of you lame reviewers can demonstrate that you can write any better yourselves you should probably stop throwing stones at the author and instead make some constructive suggestions to help her improve the quality of her writing. Have you got it in you? I didn't think so, then shut the hell up.
by
Anonymous08/09/07
Dicks went limp with a spelling error ?
The Content was fine, regardless of all the unhelpful comments. What you need is to be more careful . Don't send a story as soon as you finish, let it sit in a file a few days and then read it again for errors and English usage. Ask for an editor to double check your work. Many people(read cheapskates) here want perfection for free. Try another story but think about developing it a little slower.
Try to remember, your critics are wacking off for free and if they see a spelling error their collective dicks go limp.
by
Anonymous04/15/08
Yep, happens just like this...
Yep, it happens like this all across America almost every evening. A guy gets a little horny and wonders, "Now who can I fuck?" But then it dawns on him - mom is available. So he stops by, fires up the kitchen stove and wouldn't you know it, even before he gets a chance to plead his case, she just drops to her knees and blows him! I can't tell you how many times I've read about just this happening in the paper. Just a bit of advice though: you need to cut back on those drugs. If you're not careful they are going to mess your head up. The 25 is for the effort. Everyone deserves a little something. It might a good idea not to drive, also.
How come this very young lady, the author of this brilliant story, knows so much about motherfucking? Princess must be a born imaginative writer--the luck's all ours! Jasper is a big strong 21-year-old lad who's had something real hard in pants for his mother for years. For her part, his mother has been thinking about that big hard something in her boy's pants too, she loves her darling son so and his powerful masculinity tickles her motherly cunt. When sweet Jasper confesses to his mom his burning need to fuck her up the twat, she melts. Naturally, she's going to let her boy way up between her legs, she can hardly wait! To egg him on, his mother sucks his big dick of course, but she also spends a lot of time kissing, licking, and sucking on her son's big balls. She NEEDS what he's got stored in there! What a great mom, the kind every boy wants and should have! Jasper unloads his heavy balls up his mother's loving cunt, creaming it for the first but not the last time!
Of course.....
Of course he has a ten inch cock and six pack abs and his mom has 40D tits.
Don't give up your day job!
Why bother writing a story at all? Within the first 8 paragaraphs, you have him banging his mother. If you are foolish enough to attempt to write another so called story, try taking a creative writing class first!
Potential wasted
The story had potential, but failed. First, you need to get an editor as you shifted tense so often it was a difficult read. Build some drama...more detail would help.
I know
I know you can do better,concentrate on what you are writing,never mind what other authors are doing.Yes I have been watching your activities ?
We all need.
We all need our mother ,we might also need Princess of Sex if she would only sort herself out or is it himself?
MORE TIME
Come on you are on the right track,put more detail in the sex act itself,draw it out more.Make sure that the sons penis is hard against his mothers cervix as he comes,also make it an act of love not lust,also mention the sounds both verbal and otherwise of intercourse.Ireally must stop writing this turning myself on.Whatever you do do not stop writing
tense
please get your stories proof-read. tenses all wrong.
What he said........
"We all need our mother ,we might also need Princess of Sex if she would only sort herself out or is it himself?"
I thought the same thing. Princess? Maybe confused about her/his gender.
Anyway, the story is limp, lame and a few other things. Hot (HAWT?) it ain't.
BTW, learn the difference between to, two and too while you review tenses.
Oh, and practice the following.
"Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?"
Yaaaawn!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwn......... Wow, this story was boring!
Rubbish
What a waste of a load of print!
Are you a hish school graduate??
If you graduated from HS, you must have skipped English classes. You shouldn't need an editor for your mistakes; you should have found them yourself.
Lame reviewers
So not perfect but unless some of you lame reviewers can demonstrate that you can write any better yourselves you should probably stop throwing stones at the author and instead make some constructive suggestions to help her improve the quality of her writing. Have you got it in you? I didn't think so, then shut the hell up.
Dicks went limp with a spelling error ?
The Content was fine, regardless of all the unhelpful comments. What you need is to be more careful . Don't send a story as soon as you finish, let it sit in a file a few days and then read it again for errors and English usage. Ask for an editor to double check your work. Many people(read cheapskates) here want perfection for free. Try another story but think about developing it a little slower.
Try to remember, your critics are wacking off for free and if they see a spelling error their collective dicks go limp.
Yep, happens just like this...
Yep, it happens like this all across America almost every evening. A guy gets a little horny and wonders, "Now who can I fuck?" But then it dawns on him - mom is available. So he stops by, fires up the kitchen stove and wouldn't you know it, even before he gets a chance to plead his case, she just drops to her knees and blows him! I can't tell you how many times I've read about just this happening in the paper. Just a bit of advice though: you need to cut back on those drugs. If you're not careful they are going to mess your head up. The 25 is for the effort. Everyone deserves a little something. It might a good idea not to drive, also.
not again
stopped reading when I came to the 10 inch cock
"You always get me hard, mom," he said.
How come this very young lady, the author of this brilliant story, knows so much about motherfucking? Princess must be a born imaginative writer--the luck's all ours! Jasper is a big strong 21-year-old lad who's had something real hard in pants for his mother for years. For her part, his mother has been thinking about that big hard something in her boy's pants too, she loves her darling son so and his powerful masculinity tickles her motherly cunt. When sweet Jasper confesses to his mom his burning need to fuck her up the twat, she melts. Naturally, she's going to let her boy way up between her legs, she can hardly wait! To egg him on, his mother sucks his big dick of course, but she also spends a lot of time kissing, licking, and sucking on her son's big balls. She NEEDS what he's got stored in there! What a great mom, the kind every boy wants and should have! Jasper unloads his heavy balls up his mother's loving cunt, creaming it for the first but not the last time!
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