Taming Fire

Enjoyable

Great story! I enjoyed it very much!

Mmm..

Very hot. I liked the characters. It was a short, sweet, romantic and very sexy story.

I liked the way this started

but then it felt so rushed. Dont think this was your best work

A bit rushed

But overall a great story. I love the whole "tomboy" thing. Thanks for a great read.

Decent, but not great at all.

It's decent, but not great at all. The pacing had some problems....
And the final sentences ruin it. Him joining her in bed is erotic, but it's not romantic at all. You should've ended the story with a kiss.

Hmm

He must be some kind of idiot if he waited for her to dress up before pouncing on her. Surely everyone knows that (1) Friends make the best lovers and (2) Women look sexiest when dressed in men's clothes.

Glad I found it again!

Am surprised, though, that not many have left comments. It was one of the best I have ever come across at Literotica!

I loved it! You should continue the story. Or you have a great idea for a romance novel :)

This story is decent, but not great at all.

This is a re-do of my previous comment. (from December 2009)

I haven't changed any of my opinions on this story, but when I wrote my other comment here, I assumed that my points (particular the "pacing" comment) were already elaborated on, and I was simply siding with them....But now I noticed that nobody elaborated on that particular issue, I think I'll do that myself right now:

You see, the biggest problem with this story is that it only feels like there's 2 Acts in it instead of 3.
There's a Beginning and an End, but NO MIDDLE. The Beginning is Tessa establishing her feelings for Duncan and preparing for the seduction, and the final act (the End) is when she meets Duncan and begins her actions.

At this point, I'd only give this story 2 stars ("I didn't like it very much.") The only redeeming qualities are that I liked both Tessa and Duncan's personalities, and I enjoyed their conflicts, but that doesn't make up for the weak pacing.

----------------------------------------- ------------------------
------------------------- ----------------------------------------

I think you should EDIT this story to ADD something(s) happening inbetween Tessa's planning/preparations and her meeting-up with Duncan. Maybe you can at least SHOW some interaction between Duncan and tomboy-Tessa before she actually changes into seduction-Tessa, get us invested in the fact that it will be the last time Duncan gets to see her like this.
Anything to make the story feel less like you (and Tessa) are trying to rush into the sex.

And I still stand by what I said about the last line of the story. If you want this story to be romantic (since you make them say they LOVE each other at the last few lines), it shouldn't end with Duncan just joining her in bed like she's simply another one of his flings. You should add a final sentence with a kiss, or just them being in each others arms.

That's all, for now. I hope you consider my advice.

~William (April Smith Sucks)

...

Most definitely needs a second chapter! There's not enough stories here about tomboys and ladies into sports such as myself :) Second chapter most definitely needs a damn good bit more background info too