All Comments on 'A Jedi's Training Ch. 18'

After such a long break, I was worried that perhaps your writing might have begun to suffer. I was thankfully very wrong, as this was one of the most arousing stories Ive read so far.

Keep up the good work, and I look forward to the next one!

Great to see your still writing, I thought you might have stopped. This is by far my favorite series on the site, keep up the great work.

Indeed, I have missed your writing.

It was a good read, but a bit of criticism is called for here.

You're writing style has changed slightly. I feel it's for the worse. Your syntax is severely lacking, especially in the beginning. Even and unvaried sentences make for a very boring read. The vocabulary has seemed to risen just slightly, but it's nothing really noticeable. Also, the content isn't quite as good. The story seems to be strictly revolving around sex. A large part of the appeal of the earlier pieces was the plot, and the only plot in a whole seven pages was that last bit of development at the end, which, i might add, was a bit obvious in coming. So, the plots needs a bit more, expand on it, not just on the sex. Stroke stories are great, but you're work as been more than that, don't change that now. What's with the excessive use of ellipses at the beginning?

All in all, I still like it, just not as much as before. Sex needs to be more purposeful, and more plot is needed.

Thanks for the feedback, especially to xSlinky for the comments on my writing. I happen to agree with much of what was said about the newfound flaws in this latest submission, so I'm trying to see if I can't make improvements as I write the next part, which will hopefully wrap up this storyline at long last. The difficulty with letting a story drag out for such a long period of time (by my count now probably something like 3 or 4 years since I started it) is that the storyline I conceived initially tends to get lost over time, especially when life events lead to an unpredictability in my own sex life, and thus levels of plot vs. sex thoughts fluctuate in my own head as I write. I'll see what I can do about that in Chapter 19, but like my last few submissions it'll probably be slow-going. Thanks everyone for reading so far.

i am very happy u have written a new chapter and hope more is to come! keep going!

Man this is a great chapter and a great story although the style did change a bit but I hope you get round to finishing it one day.

Please continue this story. I really enjoyed your series of stories.

I hope life doesn't stop you from writing anymore of this, because I love it! And I think everyone else here agrees with that..

I came across this series by accident, and couldn't stop reading it. It's a great read, and you obviously put in lots of effort. Loved it, and eagerly awaiting the sequel!

This is the second time i have read through this story, i really hope you can keep going or finish it. Just as long as there is more too it, haha.

It's been almost two years since you last posted a chapter. Will you,if ever, publish a new chapter? By the way, I think this is one of the most well written multichapter stories I've ever read.

Love your writing my man, by far my favorite story on this site. It's so cool to be reading about what's happening to all of these characters and then see a familiar name from the Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2 games! Very cool :D I'm glad you added them in.

I love your series that you have please need more. Want to finish the series two years since your last post I have read your series like 9 times want it to be finished its driving me nuts I come and look for the next part every day.

Please can you continue this as I have enjoyed the series so far. Thanks. May the force be with you.

This is the BEST story i've ever read. It's not only hot and sexy, but it has a really good story line that keeps me entertained. It has everything an erotic story should have, in my opinion. PLEASE write more. I'm on my knees, begging you. Continue the story!

Come on, man!! We've been reading forever. Every story has to end sometime. Wrap it all up and call it a day. Quit having everyone be such fucking whores, too. Put things and people where they need to go.

Please, for the love of everything that is great and awesome in this world, finsh it. Im dying to read the end!

One thing that has bothered me since Liana's return is why she did not divulge to Star the sex cult she was pulled into? Did she not remember it clearly, or was she afraid, or did she think they would not come looking for her? Another thing I find frustrating about Star Wars in general is the Dark side of the Force is portrayed as more powerful then the Light Side. While I agree the dark side is very seductive claiming to let us actually to be free, while actually making us a slave to our lusts and anger. It is a ruse for darker and wicked devices.

There were some spelling issues with this chapter, and I agree, the last chapter was only about sex, and there was really no movement in the plot until the final day. Don't get me wrong, it was hot and for the most part enjoyable. The cliffhanger did keep me awake most the night though...

Hope to see the next chapter soon.

I've really enjoyed the whole series, just finished what appears to be the final chapter, and my imagination is racing with what happens next. Great characters, great storyline, great sex. I hope you continue with it, but as its been 2+ years I'll just let my imagination run wild.

Wrap up your details and end this damn story. It was great at first, but it's dragged on long enough. Damn, the characters were great, but now you're just dragging things out like a TV series that refuses to realize that it should go off the air. If you continue with this, wrap up all the details and stop it as it should be stopped. It's becoming incessantly boring.

I would love for this story to be finished. For it to have an ending that befits the story that came before it. Its been about 4 years, and I don't see that happening at all, but maybe, if you see this comment, maybe you could finish it.

this is one of the best stories I've read on here please, please, please continue.... Agent smith take a bow

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE. Haha I need to read more...

Please continue this! I love it!

Everyone gets raped the end??? Finish the story.

You have to continue it!

If you dont, people will cry. . .

Gay ending!!!! There's no way they would make it into the Jedi temple!

I am very frustrated at the moment; I began the process of flying through these chapters maybe two or three days ago, immediately after I had discovered this awesome series. Then I realized that there is only one chapter planned after this, and this one was posted in... 2007? Not very reassuring, but I am glad to find that I am not alone in the wait for the ending.

However, I really wish this story could continue, as I liked the Star Wars setting, and how well the author handled the task of imagining the sexual aspects of the Force, the various species, etc. Oh, well, this was not planned as a series to end whenever; the story is wrapping itself up, with an unsettling cliffhanger before the end. Very fun to read, I just hope that something gives us...

*Puts on shades*

A New Hope.

YEEEAAAAAAH!!!

Anyway, I actually started reading this because it interested me after playing Star Wars: The Old Republic since its release. I thought at first that it was based solely on The Old Republic, but not at all. I played very little of KOTOR 1 and 2, so I didn't know just how much they are related to TOR, as in what TOR gets from KOTOR 1 and 2. And the mention of the Consular, and the Jedi Knight Sentinel and Guardian seemed to be from TOR, but now I see I was mistaken. What I mean is that I thought this would be a fan fiction kind of thing based on the author's time playing The Old Republic. Wrong, fortunately. I doubt that it would be as fun to read...

Also, my Jedi Knight character in TOR (David Hayter for the win!) had sex with a Twi'lek, but I then admitted to it and I have stayed true (Mostly, I think. Some flirting, but that didn't break any rules ;-) ) to the Code since then. Looking back, I would have followed the feelings of this story's characters, they were true to me. The rest of my actions would have kept me on the Light Side, so I feel bad about not following my heart.

Damn, enough rambling; I just changed the title of this comment to its current title for all the rambling. Hoping for the final chapter, which is approaching soon with any luck.

(P.S. I love the love story between Jacen and Eryn, very hot, very likable, I agreed with all the ups and downs, really. Also, the Force may have been overlooked in some places where I would prefer it to have resolved some conflicts, but that does not affect my opinion that much. Again, Jacen + Eryn = Win, and for that relationship alone I will miss savoring this brilliantly imagined series, which ended all too suddenly for me. I will hold that opinion until the end and beyond. Oh, if I recall correctly, "May the Force be with you" was said ONCE and only by Jacen to Eryn. It is fitting, actually; use that line only once, and it's between them. AgntSmth, thank you for this incredibly imaginative insight on the Star Wars universe; you followed the, I'll call it, official Star Wars universe [which I honestly am not as familiar with as well as others might be, but it feels right in this story] to write this to perfection.

May The Force Be With You.

And yes, I'll shut up now, that went on way too damned long, haha.)

Sorry to post even more, but I must agree that the plot was... ignored in this chapter.

Well, I'm not very good at criticizing, but I do agree with that point; too much random sex, most of which I ended up skimming through.

With Jacen and Eryn, of course, I always enjoy reading the sex scenes, but most of the other scenes were not as enjoyable for me.

Also, some attention should be paid to showing how these Dark Side cultists were able to breach the security of the Jedi Academy, where I would think that more than a few Jedi could sense their presence.

Lastly, I do understand how one's personal life could get in the way of one's writing, and halt it altogether. Hopefully such is not your case. I say all of this because I do not know the status of Chapter 19's development. Just sayin'.

I am very glad that you did not just completely forget about the cult like so many others would have but I find it difficult to believe that they not only infiltrated the jedi academy undetected by anyone at all, but also that they knew exactly where to find Liana. That and all the random sex EVERYWHERE does put me off a bit. Still I love your work and I realy want to see the end but I am just not sure about where the story is now.

To answer some questions, jaicen and star snuck in the temple un detected carrying a naked liana. Also liana called someone in the temple to find out where jacens room was. Plus one of the members was also a jedi

You can't just leave it hang. You need to end the cult somehow.

i do not honestly like the idea of a negative ending ive read played and watched starwars for most of my life im kinda tired of so many negative endings ide personaly enjoy it more if everything were to work out for once

Please come back and end this love story!

Can you please do another chapter so that the story doesn't end on a cliffhanger and can we have a happy ending please.

In almost every movie and book that I have ever read the writer always ends it with the fairy tale ending type of thing. The sad fact of life is I you are realistic things almost never end in a good way so even though I would not like you to end the story this way if u did I would have to say thank you for at least being realistic

This series had potential, shame it ended but thank you for what you did write.

Really liked the story till at the end...you just can't leave it like that...I mean come on it was beautiful till you end with all then getting raped into the cult...like I said it was beautiful...I don't know how else to put it...

Want more. You can't leave it like this.

Not cool with the ending of this chapter. Eryn and Jacen are untouchable. Seriously the ending was just not good. You cant judt have eryn enjoy rape like wtf thats not cool. This really hurts the continuity of the story. This was AMAZING before what you did to eryn at the end. No. Just no. Not cool, fix this. I need closure. Eryn cannot be a part of that dumb sex cult. She is jacens. That is all.