I liked the part about how you controlled your anus to tease his tongue- very powerful and sensual - you must have real experience!
by
Anonymous12/30/11
Proofing
please.. Let someone proof read your work. The past tense is horrible - wetted - ?? I got in my Honda, I used to drive. It's just constructive critiscm, nice idea, just below average writing.
Not bad for your first story
Not bad. Hope to read more from you.
So Beautiful... So Sad
The passion and the pathos come through. It's so beautifully written and yet so sad a tale. May the future be brighter... and please keep writing.
Good story
Cracking story lass please keep writing
great anal play
I liked the part about how you controlled your anus to tease his tongue- very powerful and sensual - you must have real experience!
Proofing
please.. Let someone proof read your work. The past tense is horrible - wetted - ?? I got in my Honda, I used to drive. It's just constructive critiscm, nice idea, just below average writing.
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