Fools

I enjoyed it!

You made me feel the husband's emotions. Sometimes it seems like life has nothing good left to offer, but there's always tomorrow! Thanks for the story.

Complex characters

Sad, flawed, truthful, bravo, you made this overused theme your own. You did not create one-dimensional characters. They are complex. And that is what makes this Loving Wife story stand out from the rest.

Thank you, author.

a bit poignant

but enjoyed the story very much. thank you.

What an amazing story.

This is the first time I've felt sorry for a cheating spouse. You created real characters with depth and a complexity rarely seen in Lit. and I appreciate your efforts. She had her own demons to face and in the end they consumed her and it was nice to see a husband not go crazy and kill everyone in sight. He suffered and drowned his pain in alcohol and had to claw his way out. She wasn't strong enough and her addiction destroyed her. And the letter scene at the end was very moving. Thanks again for the story.

Without a Doubt Your BET story. EVER

This is a Perfect story.

the contrast between your characters and Angiquesophie story is striking. Funny how you dont have the husband lash out and try to Kill the ex wife...

Great story.

Great story. Thanks.

Incredible

I came on here to read sexy stories and get excited and share said excitement with my wife, lol. I would never believe I would be sitting here with my wife both of us with tears in our eyes after reading a story on an erotic literature site. Amazing story, well done author.You have 2 new fans in my wife and I.

great syory

loved it had tears in my eyes at the end. story could have ended differently but yours was perfect!

I am totally speakless.... awesome

Until a person has lost a TRUE love,(mine to Brain Cancer), you will never totally understand this type of love... Thank you

Wonderful

You have really grown as an author. This is a superbly beautiful story.

Superbly told

Erotic storytelling at its best. Thank you, jack_straw.

Tears....

It brings up painful memories and if I knew what was in this story, I would not have read it. Jamie is not the only one with tears in her eyes nor is the father. However, the author did an excellent job.

Your best

Jack, you have written many excellent stories, but I think this is the best of them all. Wonderful character development. Excellent story line. Flawless writing. Great ending, with all the loose ends tied up. I stand in admiration of your story telling skill.

Great Story

I found this story to be exceptional and truly by high definitions it is literature. Kudo's to Jack Straw

Beautiful

Excellent story. Writers who sooth my psyche and head get praising words, even if meaningless. Thsoe who disrupt my state of mind, or hurt my head and iq, they get cussed at. We need to stick to simple formula.

Let's not try to act smart like Miss Teen West Carolina or our Great President bush of Crawford, Texas. It hurts the head to watch these two Americans. When my head hurts from just watching people speak no more than a few sentence, I guarantee you, they gonna get cussed at...

Political Commentary Should At Least Be Literate

The story is excellent. It wanders a little in places and could have been written tighter but, compared to the tripe normally posted on this site, it is very nice to see something like this. For the idiot who commented on President Bush, President Bush has one college degree from Yale and another one from Harvard -- had excellent grades at both institutions too. Compare that to ... let's say Al Gore, who flunked out of Seminary College and had to withdraw from law school before he was dropped for poor grades. The individual who left the comment below evidently didn't get through 3rd grade English classes with enough retained knowledge so as to be able to construct proper sentences, use good grammar, or correctly punctuate his dumb little diatribe. How typical.

Fabulous

Very well written should be one of the top 10 in this section.
KEW

At last a Man who can say no and walk away.

Your story had many very good points. One of the best was what made at least two of your critiques way off base. No he didnt last out at her, he in temporary insanity planned to murder his exwife, her lover, and himself. He actually had the gun to the head of his sleeping wife when his daughter which he had forgotten in his emotional state asked why he was going to shoot mommy. This single line prevented the wifes murder and his suicide. More important than revenge is getting the child away from the mothers influence. A cheating wife is never a good mother figure for a child. Not any more than a cheating husband is a good role model for his children. The line by the guy in bed with her commenting on her having pulled a gangbang gave you the knowledge of what she was and what she was going to become, nothing than what she was before a married her, a wanton slut, and now a slut who is paid for her services. (Wonder how many married stay at home women have figured thier living is paid for with their sex to their husbands so the job title for them is prostitute. They sell themselves for housing, food, clothing, medical care, and everything else they have or need.) I will take exception to one thing the author stated several times in the story, that she loved her husand. In her own way she loved her husband, her child, and her marriage. But giving yourself to others, breaking your marriage vows, giving your time, your energy, and your emotions to others prevents you from fully loving your husband, your child, or your marriage. She loved him in her own way, but that way was way below what should have been 100%. A cheater is a cheater, and being such requires that they demonstate disrespect, deception, lying, medical risk, physical risk, and lack of real love. It is hard enough for a married couple to stay 100% in relationship love with a child(ren), without bringing those outside the immediate family in the mix. A good story but laced with very interesting interludes.

A Story Teller Exemplar

Your growth and choice of subject matter have vaulted you to be among the very best here or any other site.

You have progressed from writer to author to Story Teller in a short time to my recollection of your past works.

You arouse plausibly, your characters garner respect if they should, and others get the consequence if called for.

You are appreciated and looked forward to - soon I hope.

With Very High Regard

Sentimental rubbish

Unreadable.

So very impressive!!!

Jack, you have written many excellent stories, but this one was so very impressive. I really appreciate stories that have sad but happy endings. You have again given us a superbly, romantic story infused with more than a little heartache. Some wonderfully developed characters with a fine plot and writing that can't be faulted – yes so very impressive! Pete.

Nothing new here

Let's see the wife cheats, the husband leaves, He wins and she loses as he remarries a Nobel Prize winner, Mother Theresa or someone of that caliber and she ends up hooking for a living with tragic consequenses. This sort of crap happens in everyone of these stories. I look for something different but never find it.

Rather than just bash the story as the anonymous evangelicals do cheating wife stories that don't carry such dire consequences for the woman I'll try and leave some input. Have you thought about exploring how a man could go from such a worthless human as a wife to such an incredible wife? I mean you have admit that a man that would have been attracted to such a cheating slut might have a problem getting such a winner as a second wife. Instead of just turning on a light switch and having him remarried try and explore how the man meets his second wife a little more deeply. This would help make the story at least somewhat believable and thus more interesting.

Additionally could you please, pretty please not have the cheating wife become a hooker and/or die at the end? I must admit I have only read a couple of your stories but this genre of story uses the worthless cheating wife charactor so much that if you haven't used it yourself before at this point you would only look like a very unimaginative writer copying others ideas and bad ones at that. Also here's a little hint, making the woman a villian and killing her off or leaving her destitute only makes you look very insecure and misogynistic.

The previous commentor,

hiding (him . . .her. . . it) self in the vast cloak of "anonymous", clearly was not looking for a story to entertain and amuse (him. . . her. . . it)self, but rather for some kind of redemption from a personal hell!
This "jack_straw's" approach to a LW story is NEW, REFRESHING and , to my way of thinking, quite UNIQUE! Congratulations to JS. I enjoyed this story immensely: It flowed well, had a variety of interesting characters, some of whom we couldn't exactly figure out; it had recognizable emotion on the part of the father and mystery surrounding the "demons in my soul" experienced by the "whore/mother". Some of these "anonymous" readers wouldn't recognize a good story plot even if it hit them face on. Most of them are too used to being hit square on the balls and react to that expectation before they've had a chance to appreciate a good imagination and a well thought out and well written story! JS has been one of my favorite authors for quite some time. This story has only served to solidify his place on my favorites list!

Well Written Story

I think this is not the forum for political commentary; if I were Jack I'd delete the political comments. Back to the story - plausible and well written (like most of Jack's). Good thing Jason didn't pull the trigger!

A very good read

I thoroughly enjoyed ‘Fools’, and have put it amongst my favorites of yours which include ‘Jealousy’ and ‘She Did Me a Favor’. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Bravo-- One of the Best

Bravo- I congratulate you. This has to be one of the best stories I've read on this site. It's interesting, entertaining and even has a touch of the erotic. I only have one complaint. The story is so well done I couldn't fine anyone to root against. I even ended up feeling sorry for the adulerous wife Jeannie. wonderful story.
60 year old George

from the author

Nothing personal against genghis khan or easylivin', but I deleted their comments. As gatorhermit said, this isn't the forum to debate the relative merits or demerits of George W, Bush. Not to mention that they were completely irrelevant to the story. If that's censorship, then I'm guilty.

Sometimes

you just can't change human nature and self destruction is inevitable. Great story, and very well written.

A good story and entertainment

A good story of life and loss, highs and lows with emotion. Just good entertainment. Thank youPT

Very good story

I could only feel sorry for Jeanette for all her life.. A sad way to live and a sad way to die.. Fortunately, for him, he found what he needed, Kathy, after a terrible interim.. Very well written!

Well done, author!

Author -Thank you for your efforts! Alvaron53 - seems to be that you IQ is showing again. Tsk, tsk! Show us your "real skill" and post one of your many "perfect stories" on this site. Of course, your branding as a "professional commentator" is without reproach, but we are sure you could enlighten all the authors on this site with your divine creative work. Or will you continue to disappoint the rest of us and continue your usual line of bullshit? Come on now, step up to the challenge!

Another compelling story!

Not much to add to the raving reviews which spoke to the merits of your story. I'd say that my experience was that the story became stronger and stronger towards the end -especially from the point of the meeting with the ex fifteen years later and on. You had great ending a part which fails so many good "Beginners" and "Middlers".
My one quibble is I could not see the merit of the Fabula you chose to narrate the plot n your decision to start with the end shift back to the beginning move back to the middle and so on. A simpler Fabula which would have followed the time frame of the plot would have added suspense to your compelling narrative, other wise it was a superb story.

A beautifully written bitter sweet tale

First class

Jeanette

I was really dissapointed with her why she never said anything to her husband about him working so long and traveling so far away i started to cry when he said she was killed in a motel or hotel by a man i sure hope they have a better love life together with Kathy .

Great read

Just re-read this one; & I had to comment. This is, in my humble opinion, the best writing you've done. The characterization, the bitter-sweet ending, all contribute to a great story. Thanks.

very good

poignant story

Sweet

Jeanette reminds me of an ex-stripper I used to date. Love was never our problem.

Great story

This was indeed a good story! My only complaint is that so many writers make the husband out to be such a decent, hardworking, and sacrificing person. He is then cheated on by his supposedly loving wife and mother of his child. She is revealed as a gangbang loving nymphomaniac whenever he is gone too much, whilst slaving away for the family. She is portrayed as wanting sex with several other men and becomes a sex-slave because she is not getting it at home as much as she wants. Then she is portrayed as really a loving wife that just couldn't help herself in becoming the hopeless, lying slut! I understand about needing the wife to become a cheat in these character plots. But, I have never met a woman in my life (65 Years of it) that was ever like that! I was a cop for 40 years and never met a hooker that was that much into sex either! I spent all my teens looking for such a person as most young men do. I looked all over San Diego and then the Orient as a Marine, and I never found that kind of woman. I always had to pay to get even a business-like sex act in both places. I just don't believe there are that many horny, over-sexed wives as you guys describe out there! Oh, I know that wives do cheat. My first wife had a few lovers over the 15 years we were married. I think you would have a more convincing story with the lonely wives just having a fling or an affair while the husband is away, just like a lot of men do! You know, the men that don't get enough at home supposedly? I don't read many stories about husbands who have nympho-like sex with multiple women behind the wife's back. Am I making any sense at all here? A lot of us readers would appreciate the stories we read (Even if they are fiction) to be somewhat realistic. Hell, reading the comments is almost as good as reading the story! A lot of the commenters appear to believe these stories represent real life and they do to an extent. Maybe "it is" a story telling tactic to make these loving wives sound like real lowlife scum or harlots to please the "torch the bitch types." You know, the "Self-righteous and Conservative" men that only think themselves worthy of an opinion? I'm sorry, this was just a thought, it's just that I see this continual trend. Do we really need to paint these women as complete Jezebels? Maybe these stories would appeal to women readers as well if more real to life? Maybe I just need an explanation as to Why? I am not a writer myself so I could just be ignorant!!!!! Thank you for reading this...

How Come?

How Come your protagonists always come across like wimps even when they do the right thing?
A. Rooney

Just Barely okay....

Shooting the bitch at that moment would have been over the top. Revenge is best served cold. Cold hate will easily overcome any love. I wish I could like Jack's stories better, but the wimpy nature of MOST of his protagonists rules that out.

My older sister was unfortunately much like Jeanette was in your story. She made some bad choices and hung out with the wrong people in high school, was able to put it behind her (for the most part), married a man she loved and had a son by him, then later messed it up and fell back into alcoholism and serious drugs; About 12 years after her divorce she OD'd and passed on to a better existence in the afterlife.

Your story was very touching and the characters were realistic and believable. Another nice job by you.

To anon

I am sorry for your pain. I hope her son is ok. For you I shed tears.

He could have saved a lot of people a lot of pain

If he had just kill her that night and found and kill the other guy as well. Cheating sluts like that are only good when dead and no longer able to cheat.

Sorry but the attempt to make Jeannette sympathetic failed. She's just another worthless lying slut who could only make the world better by being dead and gone from it.

I read about 2/3rds of page 1.

That is all I could stand so I stopped reading the garbage and rated the story 1*.

Sad

Well written

Very well done.

You did very well in bringing out the emotions of your main character. Instead of just telling and narrating, a trap which too many writers often fall into, you took the time to carefully sketch the physical indicators of those emotions -- the shakes while he steadily held the gun, the way he fucked his wife after seeing Jeanette, all the minute details -- and those helped the story ring true, more than anything. Thank you for sharing this with us, and please disregard the comments of idiots like DWMoronfuck. It obviously needs to go back for classes in remedial English, and it's too much to ask, I think, for it to actually have any skills in reading and comprehension.

Hot DAMN!!!!!!

Great story! Loved the characters and the plot development. Extremely well written and an absolute pleasure to read. Thanks for this wonderful tale.

I wouldn't have forgiven her

let alone speak to her. The daughter had the right idea and what's with his mother, anyways? Continuing to speak to her? In what universe?

Really get tired

I really get tired of the anonymous comments in the LW section that are so negative about any reconciliation or forgiveness.
There is a sameness about the comments that suggests there may be about a half dozen anonymous people who feel obligated to comment so bitterly.

my only issue is your putting part of the blame on the husband

I never understand how the husband has any part of the blame? He was motivated and trying to do the best for his family, and some how that's wrong. Next time he needs to stay home and let the whore work, like she ended up doing anyway. 3 stars