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English
GREAT STUFF
more ... More ... MORE !!!
Garbage
Can you say Rape
What's next
I want to see what happens to her
Want more.
Brilliant.
Yeah, its garbage
Since the story is coherent and spelled correctly, I don't give it a 0. But it is basically a one page rape/snuff fantasy. Surely you can do better, much better, than that!
Judge it by what it is
Is this non-consensual sex that should never happen in real life? Yes. But I don't think that stories on lit should be judged by our moral agreement with them. The bit about the evil inscrutable Oriental doctor also hits a sore spot for me, but again, the story should be judged on its merits. By that standard, I think the story does a very good job of being evocative without giving away too much detail. A previous poster mentioned that s/he wanted "more", but sometimes less IS more. This little, jarring glance doesn't tell a story; it suggests one. And that's a good thing. For what it's worth, there was an author over at ASSTR called Deirdre who had a similar approach to stories (though more consensual in general). If you liked this, I recommend you check her out.
Wonderful
You should totally make a sequal to this showing what happens to her next.
Decent, but could be improved
You could have executed the story better, I think. Going from utter fear to sex slave in one orgasm is a bit much even for me to swallow - I would have liked to see more of the process of Anna's changed from having agency of her own to sex slave.
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