All Comments on 'Runners Unite'

A fucking good story

Darling, not 2 tablespoons. This is not a cooking site.(G) Blast after blast of his thick cum exploded into her mouth. He came so hard he thought his balls would implode. Or, he came so hard he thought his balls would explode through the head of his cock. There also needs to some degree of guilt on her part. "I don't know what came over me. I've never done anything like this before." "I saw you looking at me and I knew you wanted me and I felt kinda tingley all over and I suddenly had visions of you between my thighs and my legs wrapped around you." "I wanted you soooo much."

While this is not my type of story it was very well written.A great first submission. I have read stories by authors with 30+ submissions that do not write half as well as you.

Keep writting and keep submitting. Good job.

Mike S.

Overall, the story seemed rather dispassionate. I kind of rolled my eyes when you described the girl as a size 1. She's 5'7" and a size 1? That's a hella skinny girl. I have a friend who is 5'2" and a size 1 and she's shaped like a 12 year old boy (hey, her words not mine, but it's true). 5'7" and size 1 is pretty gaunt. But hey, if that's what turns you on, far be it for me to fault you for that.<br><br>

Someone has already mentioned the "two tablespoons" of cum as being more fitting for a recipe. I have to say that the attitude expressed in the following sentence should probably not be spoken aloud while you're in the midst of a hot and heavy session. <i>"As his mouth was becoming fatigued with the cunnilingus, he glanced up to her to see if she was ready for more."</i> Dude - women do not find it sexually arousing to know that you are getting "fatigued" from giving them oral pleasure. Would you want a woman to pull her mouth off your dick about 2 minutes into it, stretch her jaw and say, "Damn, I'm fatigued of performing fellatio on you! Mind if we move on to something else?" Of course you wouldn't! You'd want her to be moaning with pleasure, slurping, expressing her enjoyment of your incredible dick until you blast your load. So remember, you outta be doing the same for your woman. <br><br>

<i>"With out word, he got on his knees, approached her and placed his 8-inch cock at her entrance. He thumped her clit with it several times."</i> ----- Okay, this is a new move to me. Seriously, I've never had a guy thump my clit with his dick. Rub it sensuously with his dick? Yes. Thump it like it was a piece of wood? No. If you have really done this, was the reaction favorable? It sounds like you're knocking before entering. <br><br>

I would suggest focusing more on the emotions and sensations of the moment, and less on the individual details, to bring more passion into your descriptions.